Sunday, December 14, 2014

Update on Kardashians getting spanked- forgot to include Kendall Jenner! (and exploring her possible motivations for recently posing getting spanked - hint - British porn censorship related)

Recently stumbled across another image of a Kardashian (well, sort of... their half sister) getting spanked, and thought I should post a follow up to my last post
Geez, has it really been since Nov. 17th that I've posted something?! It turns out the image above was from a short video posted as a type of naughty advent calendar type thing provided as a treat by Love Magazine. (Her little video was the treat for December 8th.) Perhaps Kendall saw my earlier post containing pics of her half sisters getting spanked and was jealous, and wanted to be included in the naughty fun! 

However, in researching this post, I discovered that appears not to be the case.  As it turns out, not long before I posted that, Kendall turned 19 on Nov. 3rd. And Fox news joined in recounting how she got a birthday spanking from a stripper. Turns out TMZ obtained a brief video of her getting whacked on the butt with a "policeman's" baton.

So I was just remiss in not including this in my post about Kardashians getting spanked a little over a week after it happened.

It made me ponder about her motivations again. I figure there are a few possibilities:
A) She read my post and thought "Gosh I was just in the news last week for getting spanked, what else do I have to do to get noticed by Secretspanko on his blog?!"
B) She has no earthly idea about this blog, but kinda got excited when the cop stripper spanked her and, a budding spanko, wanted to try it again. (Not likely, but far more likely than "A")
C) She thought she'd capitalize on her recent publicity for getting spanked and turn it up a notch in an attempt to gain even more publicity. (more likely still)
D) Perhaps a bit of combining "C" with a tweak or a wink at the recent British ban on certain online porn activities, including spanking. 

I'd sure like to hope the correct answer is D.

Wait, what?? Yup. See, Love Magazine is a British publication.

For those that don't know, this month the British government banned producers in that country from filming several sexual acts in online content available to purchase. Among those acts banned- facesitting, squirting, fisting, and uhm... spanking and caning. The discussion of this is way more in depth than I can do justice to here. I urge you to go to Pandora Blake's blog. She has an extensive discussion on the ban, and its ramifications. And a tip of the hat to her for pointing out the photo at the top which led to this post. The little video and brief spanking scene were published post ban. Perhaps Love Magazine is in support of Pandora, and others like her, affected by it. Or maybe rather than make a political statement, they're just trying to capitalize on the media attention and get some more publicity.

P.S. I'm pleased that both Dreams of Spanking (Pandora's site) and Spanking Sarah, two websites I've enjoyed have said they will continue to produce spanking content, despite the ban.

P.P.S. Sorry, but I have to get this off my chest.  I've been plenty critical of Republicans and Fox News here in the past but going back to my philosophical and political roots... I saw the topic come up in a discussion on Fetlife and the point was made about how surprised some were that the U.K. was that culturally conservative.  This is probably a reflection of my own politics, but I don't think it was a result of being politically culturally conservative at all. This was a pointless and micromanaging regulation imposed without any electoral input (much less cost/benefit analysis or foresight) by an out of control bureaucracy - in other words, a failure of liberalism.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Kardashians spanked

Even if it didn't quite break the internet, Kim Kardashian's recent nude photo shoot caused quite a stir.  Not gonna lie- I thought they were hot. I love curves. But you know what? They'd have been maybe even sexier if they'd been more realistic.
photoshopped wasp on the left, re-photoshopped vision of what she really looks like on the right
Am I alone here? In the pictures above, one looks normal, the other looks like an alien creature.
No, that's not what I meant. The Kardashians (as opposed to the Star Trek Cardassians) have a genetic disposition for being blessed with an ample booty.

Okay so setting that question aside, I can't be the only one that want to spank that delicious bottom, am I? A quick google search reveals that I'm not.
Perhaps this isn't the same Kardashian- I get them confused, but she has the same genetic disposition.
And a closer shot makes it look like she's enjoying it:
And you know what? There are a few more interesting images... here are "butt" a few:
So Kanye, you're a lucky man.
And so are you, Lamar Odom, Miles Austin, Reggie Bush, some stupid tv show host I've never heard of, another Kardashian, etc... I think every spanko in America would love to smack that bottom, or turn a Kardashian over our knee, or at least I would- photoshopped ideal or not.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

LOL day- Interview with former lurker, now a succesful spanking writer, Natasha Knight

It's time again for the 9th annual Love Our Lurkers day.  (I figure most folks have gotten the idea by now, but if you're new to spanking blogs, here's an explanation.)

I was going to post this later, but since this interview touched on several themes relevant to folks who lurk on my blog, since she provided such great answers, and since LOL day gets a bunch of readers... well, thought it made sense to post it today.

Natasha Knight is an author of spanking romance, and a good one. I've written about some of her works on this blog before, and she's written about me on hers. More importantly, I consider her a friend.

Thanks for agreeing to do this interview, and taking the time out of your busy schedule to do so. As I've mentioned before you're quite an accomplished writer of spanking romance novels. How long have you been writing spanking stories and how did you get started? 

Hi Secret Spanko (should I call you that?). Thanks for having me. Yours was one of the first blogs I ever lurked on! So spanking romance. I have been writing them for just over two years - or I've been published for just over two years but have been writing them for maybe two and a half. I actually didn’t know what I was writing until Taught to Kneel came out. That was when I found a spanking romance specific publisher. I didn't know the term 'spanko', didn't know about domestic discipline as a thing that really exists and thought it was just me who had these 'dirty' thoughts. I still remember some of my first edits because I was writing it then all out of this place of wanting and never had experienced it - I believe my publisher used the words '30 spanks, even if he spanks really really hard, would not be memorable'. You can just imagine how embarrassed I felt… but that's two years ago just about and I've come out since and as you say, I'm a spanking weenie and 30 can be plenty memorable!

(Note to self- she started writing books about the time I started puttering around with this blog.  Now she's a successful author and I'm still puttering around with this blog.) 

I would have guessed you'd been writing a lot longer than that. How has the genre changed since you began? This was a genre way before 50 shades, right? 

I believe Bethany's Woodshed was around a LONG time ago so yes, but recently, as in in the last year, the market is flooded with spanking romance. First on 50 shades - it's not spanking romance but it is 'erotica' that got a lot of people to read erotica and lost at least a little bit of their shame over it. Writing wise it is a lot more competitive but in a way, that's not a bad thing. I know my writing has evolved since that first novel and it evolves daily. Plus I like the challenge of thinking up hotter, edgier stuff and of course, I then have to try it out at home to make sure it all works… ;) 

(Note to self- remind me to follow up on that "trying it out at home" bit.)

So, uhm, did you have any idea way back a couple of years ago that this would develop as it has? 

Nope, not at all. Like AT ALL! I am very happy with how things are going writing wise, but more importantly, I figured out the piece that was really hard for me to see or face or admit to another. I started to write this to get these thoughts out of my head. I felt so ashamed for so long. I slowly told my husband what I was up to when my first piece was accepted. It went something like 'Oh, um…I have been writing, you know to fill the time, and I had an offer. It's erotica.' Him: 'Oh, um ok'. A few months later it was: 'well, it's BDSM'. Him: 'Oh………ok………' then after that 'It's mostly spanking but you know I don’t really want that myself, I just write it for other people and it's not something I would ever ever want…" and all the while my mind is yelling at my mouth to shut up already. 

I came out to him on Christmas two years ago and I still remember that night. He didn't laugh or recoil in horror or anything. He just said 'ok'. He definitely struggled with his role as the spanker and there were some shaky months but we're in a really really good place right now and I am kind of wishing he'd stop spanking so hard! He keeps asking me 'where have you been all these years?' and it's kind of bittersweet but it just makes me want to say to all those people who are feeling shame that there is no shame even if you can't come out just yet. It's just the way we're built and it's ok. 

Okay, not trying to get too personal here but is this more of a hobby or a full time job? Is it possible to make a decent living writing stories like this? 

Well, when we moved to Holland, I became a stay at home mom. Before that I was earning a killing as a yoga teacher ;) I can say that you can earn well with this but it is very competitive right now. There's just a lot of really great stuff out there and that's a really great thing especially for the reader! 

(Note to self- former yoga instructor! there goes the stereotype of the romance writer as a sweet little old lady with an active imagination and a houseful of cats- I bet she's hot!) 

Where was I? uhm.. What advice would you give for aspiring spanking romance writers? 

Write what you love and once it's published, don't look at Amazon rankings! Remember that if your product is not marketable, it may not sell as well, even if it has your heart and soul in it, but that doesn't mean you shouldn’t write it. My worst selling book is the one that got me the most connections with readers sharing their own stories and those are the very best things in the world. To touch someone else's life in some tiny little way, to make enough of an impact that they reach out and say 'that was me', it's pretty incredible and beautiful. 

Another spanking romance writer I talked to said that she didn't think she had any male fans. Do you? That you're aware of? (Other than me, of course!) 

Haha! I think I do. I know I do actually because I get mail (and not just the naughty kind). I do think the majority of my readers are women but I'd say about 20%. I kind of think that is because I write the spanking/sex a little harder so…??? Is that why you like me so much?

Uhm... yeah. That probably has something to do with it. (Well plus the former yoga instructor thing.) So, uh, back to the interview...  What can you tell me about your readers? Do you think most of them are, in a sense, secret spankos too? 

Yes, absolutely. This kink is engulfed in shame and we just hide. You know how it is! It hurts if we're rejected or made fun of and all it takes is one little comment to keep us in that closet for too many years. And I don’t even think that people outside of this mean to be judgmental. Yes, some are, of course, but I think all of that comes from a sense of shame that belongs to them in some way. They just maybe don't realize how sensitive we are to their comments or how big a deal this is to us. 

Shifting gears a bit... You're not just a writer of spanking romance, you're into spanking personally right? 

Yes, absolutely I'm into this. I couldn't write something I don’t find totally hot!

The scenes in the books are pretty wild. And you've included things that aren't just traditional spankings, like incorporating various creative anal punishments, or medical scenes, for example. Are those things that excite you and you just want to include? Is there any pressure to push the envelope for sales? Are those things people have requested? I'm not great at interviews but basically I'm asking- how much of what you write is for yourself vs. writing what you know your fans want to read- how about that? 

Pretty much all of it is what I find hot. Like for me, breasts are not so erotic (probably because mine are tiny - TMI for your readers). [Nope!] If I put nipple clamps on a heroine, I pretty much forget to take them off because I'm so focused on the bottom and whatever goes on there! Writing anal punishment is hot hot hot for me. Writing medical is hot because I can focus on vulnerability, exposure. I love the idea of submitting to punishment or discipline. Discipline is kind of a key word for me at the moment. I’m totally rambling but just to wrap it up, I write what I find hot!

Is it getting a little hot in here? Where was I? Uhm... Just a random because I'm curious question- where do you get the covers for the books? 

Korey Mae Johnson at Stormy Night Publications. She's kind of AMAZING!!! 

Anything upcoming you want to promote or tease? 

Can't wait! Again, thank you so much for taking the time to do this. I look forward to visiting again with you hopefully soon.

Now to my lurkers- Thank You! You're the reason I write stuff on here. I hope you enjoyed the interview, and recognized that here was a former lurker who since finding the blog has begun a rewarding career, and come out to her husband as a spanko. (And yes, she's happily married- I was kidding about getting all hot and flustered during the "interview"). But I hope her story can be as inspiring to some of you as it was to me.

And please feel free to comment, even if anonymously. I always try to respond.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Tinkerbell gets spanked

I was inspired recently when I saw a pic on fetlife of someone dressed up as Tinkerbell. Of course, I can't use that pic here, but it got me thinking. I've always sorta assumed Peter Pan was gay, but... he keeps a cute faerie locked up in a jar and spanks her when he needs pixie dust.
And let's face it, Tink is kinda hot, right? Perhaps when Peter was in dire need of lots of pixie dust, he really laid it on, and just his hand wasn't enough...
thanks Desiring Discipline
I suppose she does have a cute little butt...

Halloween is coming up, and every woman's costume must be the sexy version of the character, right? Tink is a good choice.
Cause Tinkerbell is naturally sorta sexy.  The character has a short skirt. It's not as unnatural as say, a sexy jelly fish

or a sexy snowoman (is that a word?)
In looking up images for this post, I found some young ladies into cosplay as Tinkerbell:
Love that smirk, that pout, and would love to lock her in a jar and spank her whenever I felt like it. (Sorry, where was I?) Unfortunately, the real Tinkerbell is only a few inches tall, and spanking her is more likely to look like this:
from Wolfie toons
However, for all you ladies dressing up as Tinkerbell, just know that taking an occasional spanking is part of your character!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

How hard? In pursuit of Goldilocks

How hard to you like your spankings? giving or receiving? It can be a crucial question when discussing either with a potential play partner, and one that's not easily answered.  I came up with my hamburger analogy of how spankings differ, and every spanko has their own idea about their spanking preferences.  I touched on severity, but the best I could come up with is that I couldn't decide which was more severe: well-done or extra rare and red.   Without actually giving a spanking and deciding a little more or a little less, it's tough to say what your preference is because everything is relative based on one's experience (both the top and the bottom).  

Not too hard, not too soft... just right!
Yes, she should be forgiven, but after she's been spanked

nik zula at deviant art
I'm admittedly a switch, but I've had disappointing sessions in both roles due to the fact that we weren't on the same page in terms of severity level. I stopped spanking one lady because of the state of her butt. She'd explained that she was very experienced and a heavy player.  She wanted more but I was uncomfortable because her butt looked like hamburger meat.  We talked, debriefed, and we met again. The second time again she was giving all the signals that she wanted more- and again I got squeamish at the state of her butt and stopped before she got what she wanted.  On the other hand, I once met someone I'd played with a couple of times before, and we were going to film me getting a spanking for her website.  Perhaps it was my state of mind, maybe it was the fact that I'd watched a couple of her recent videos, but I told her to go easy on me. The result was a spanking so weak it didn't do much for me and wasn't even included in the video.*

So how does one decide how hard? How severe? It's tough to do without trial and error. most good spankers err on the side of too little, especially initially. Also the skin tone can affect marks dramatically.  I personally think it's best to determine like a chef tasting the soup/sauce/batter throughout the cooking and deciding based on his/her skilled and trained taste.  It's hard to describe, but the taste is gauged based on the spankee's reactions. I was corresponding with another switch spanko recently about this topic was great, and her response mirrored my own:

"How severely I like to spank is kind of hard to answer. I do not like the look of damage. I would rather disappoint by going too easy on someone than going too hard, especially initially. However, I like spankings to hurt. I like to see some roses in a spankee's cheeks, but besides that, I don't have a visual goal. I like some of a spanking to be fun and easy to take, and I like some of it to be challenging."

I couldn't have said it better myself. I think this picture from punished brats sums up my just-enough-but-not-too-much thoughts well.

*and no, I'm not talking about Dana Kane.