Thursday, December 29, 2011

Wonder what percentage of American parents spank their kids? here's your answer...

This is only tangentially related to the spanking fetish, but it's a fairly scientific poll I stumbled upon, and thought many of y'all might be interested.  Out of 1,000 carefully selected representative households were contacted... 469 said they'd spanked their child on the bottom with their bare hand in the last year, and 536 had done so within the child's lifetime.  How many had "hit on the bottom with a belt, hairbrush, a stick or some other hard object" according to the survey? ...207 in the past year, and 294 within the child's lifetime.  So roughly 50% spank, and 20-30% spank with something stronger than their hand.  Here's a link to the survey.

I was spanked growing up, and I know... I know... a lot of folks into spankings erotically as adults were not. But I fall into the the camp that thinks there's some sort of link.  (Of course, most kids that were spanked growing up never stumbled onto a Penthouse Variations magazines with spanking stories and photoshoots of hot naked women bent over and holding a paddle when they were on the cusp of puberty, but anyway....)


 I found the link to this survey in an article on Slate.com a few weeks ago.  (Yes, I read things other than spanking blogs in my downtime, but my interest in spanking somehow crept into my reading of normal news).  The gist of the article was that approval of spanking was surprisingly high, but had declined, and that these numbers were more like 90% in the late 60's vs. roughly 50% today.  Frankly I'm somewhat surprised they are as high as they are currently.  Interestingly, in trying to find that article again for this post, I was surprised   just   how   many   stories   on   this  somewhat highbrow internet magazine deal with spanking.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Review of Dreams of Spankings... flashes of brilliance


I have a couple of spanking website reviews in the draft stages... but Dreams of Spankings just launched, and I just finished watching the movies and decided based on what I saw that it would jump to the front of the line.

First a little about my philosophy of writing spanking video website reviews... I want to:


A) keep it objective and maintain my "journalistic" integrity
I've seen a couple of review sites well, lose their journalistic integrity.  It's totally understandable. Who writes reviews of these websites?  People that enjoy them and have spent a lot of time enjoying them.  It's natural to feel flattered when a spanking "celebrity" wants to chime in or talk to you about what you're writing, but the risk is that you might be tempted to not provide the most honest, objective review if you're reviewing a friend.  Hey, I love reading the interviews of spanking stars as much as anybody.  But it might be hard to do an interview with someone and then give the website anything less than a glowing review.  And unless it's an honest and objective review, it doesn't benefit the consumer reading it as much as it should.   I'll only review sites that I've paid for myself.  I have the means, and want to support the content providers.  But just paying for it doesn't ensure objectivity.  For example, I'm not sure I could write an objective review of Spanking Court.  There are some things I really like about that website, and some things it that annoy me. However, I've gotten to know both Erica Scott and Dana Kane who work with that site, and I'm not sure that I could (or should) be objective about it.


B) focus on small or new sites that might benefit the most from exposure
What spanking video enthusiast doesn't know about the Realspankings sites, Girls Boarding School, Punished Brats, Chelsea, Dallas, etc...?!  But I think the spanking community could benefit from reviews of smaller, less well known sites.


So... I'll only review sites that I'm willing to pay my own money for, and will try to emphasize the smaller sites.

All that having been said, here goes... Dreams of Spankings

Wow.  The first movie I saw was "Caned in Jodhpurs" - it had period costumes, hard caning/riding crop action, an actual plot, and actual acting good enough that it seemed the scene was filmed in just 2 takes.  Plus it had an actual score (i.e., background music) that fit, and the spanking actions was not only plenty severe, but they didn't shy away from being sexy.  At one point the spanker turned the spankee around and kissed her as he fondled and then fingered her.

The next scene I watched was the caning merit badge scene that could not have been more different, but was equally enjoyable.  Just a couple sharing an intimate endeavor... she was on the bed as he gave her a pretty severe caning, and even caned her breasts.  What made it even sexier was the realism- he was constantly checking on her and kissing her... it looked, and probably was, a very intimate, sexy scene.

Other scenes I really liked include one where two ladies talk about the effect of being spanked, and then a demonstration is given, and a plenty firm hairbrush spanking to Amelia Jane Rutherford. (though she kept her panties on, boo!)

There are only a handful of movies, so far, but in that handful contains better dialogue, better build up, and a better variety of spanking scenes than is found in five years of updates from some of the more well known and established spanking sites mentioned earlier in this post.

Clearly Pandora Blake's vision is ambitious.  There's a blog about the site's progress. There is a way to search scenes by keyword that includes about 4x as many keywords as have been filmed so far.  A LOT of thought and effort went into this site and it shows.

There are a variety of subscription options, including better deals the more months you pay for- but all options are in British pounds..  I opted for the 10 days at 10 lbs. (not sure how to make the British pound symbol on Blogger, but it winds up being about $15 -plus a call from your bank's fraud detection department asking about why you have a charge from Europe, but no biggie.)

A few quibbles-

  • While I admire Pandora's stance in not excluding M/M scenes... they don't interest me.  I'm not a homophobe, but... M/M spankings just don't do anything for me- and there's not a lot in F/M scenes currently in case you're interested in that.  Speaking of which...  
  • Some of the preview scenes are at this point just photos, not video- which I was looking forward to seeing.
  • The movies are very high quality, and you may choose from high or low quality downloads in a couple of formats, but there's no indication of the file size before you download it, and one of them was almost 1 gig in size.
Overall... Like I said, flashes of pure brilliance.  Going back to a sports analogy... several years ago I saw the quarterback that won the Heisman trophy this year and I saw the screen show the fact that he had more passes without an interception than any true freshman playing QB, and he was fast on his feet too.  We still won that day, but I thought "Wow, he's going to be awesome in a few years!" and I was right.  I see this site as the RGIII as a freshman of spanking websites.  Wide variety of good stuff, flashes of absolute brilliance better than any that have come before, but just hoping/wondering if they can maintain it.  (Sure that analogy is lost on my British readers!)   I've paid much more for much less of a single movie than that one Jodhpurs update alone.  The site's awesome so far, and I hope they keep it up to the point that soon it will not qualify for one of my reviews based on my small site criterion, rather than flame out in an overly ambitious website that cannot maintain its brilliance (or its budget.).    

More reviews to come...

Thursday, December 22, 2011

More Retro Spanking Story Sites


Last week I added something to the blog showing my most  popular posts so far. Maybe I don't pay enough attention to my blog stats but I thought it was surprising.

What was my most popular post?
  • Not even the post on nudity complete with a video compilation of the best nude scenes in the last 30 years set to a funny song, even with the boost because it made Pink tingle!

No, the most popular post since I started this blog a couple of months ago was surprisingly one I just threw up here because I hadn't posted in awhile...  the post on retro spanking story sites. In uhm, retrospect though, I can kind of understand it. Sites that we saw way back when the internet was young and before we'd seen spanking movies or maybe met someone for spanking play...   It was exciting to find spanking content on the internet, and maybe seeing these sites still up takes people back to that time.

So, all that having been said, my readers want retro spanking story sites... retro spanking story sites they'll get.  And since I may not post again until then, Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kickin' Kwanzaa, a wonderful Winter Solstice, etc...

Here are a couple more that are still running or at least preserved. I was pleased last time that Rollin found that post, and love his new stories.  If any of these authors are still around I would love to hear from them too.

Flogmasters story archive
http://www.flogmasterstories.com/main.html
There are over 500 stories with descriptions and ratings. Here's the link to the list of stories sorted by date:
http://www.flogmasterstories.com/sortedlists/sortbydate.html
These stories date back to 1994, and many of the early ones were "published" well before that on S.S.C. etc...

Don A.Landhill's geocities site 
http://www.oocities.org/dlandhill/DL-c.html
Another one, like a couple I mentioned in the earlier installment, saved from geocities demise, it lasted from about 2000 through late 2003 and has a bunch of stories from him as well as some by SamPast, Jen, Kayley,  Huggedlots, Jewel, and Jessie compiled from postings on SSC.  Some of his stories were good enough to be published by CF Publications now found at http://cfpub-online.com/ and there's a description of those stories, but not the stories themselves.  They're presumably still available on CF publication's website for purchase.

St Francis school for girls
http://www.saintfrancis-sfg.net/home.htm
Cute schoolgirl stories, the site appears to have been abandoned in 2003, but is still up and running.
Here's the story index http://www.saintfrancis-sfg.net/storyindex.htm and it's tantalizing to see stories that were listed but not added to the site. I remember one where the main girl was protesting having to wear a tie, and spanked weekly for it by the principal. Later she was elected head girl or whatever and getting ready for the new school year had to get a demonstration from the principal of the big paddle she would be authorized to use during the year.

Enjoy! And again if anyone writing any of these is still around, a big thank you and I'd love to hear from you. (And I bet my readers would too.)

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Finally saw "Secretary" ...yup, it was awful.


This time of year is awfully crazy around here.  It seems those precious hours after the kids are asleep are even more precious now... But instead of being spent on naughty internet time, they're spent on finishing up cooking, Christmas projects, addressing a Christmas card to someone that wasn't on our list but sent us one so we have to send them one, and late night trips to Wal-Mart and Toys R Us (they're open 24 hours until Christmas) or doing regular household stuff because I didn't have time to get it done during the evening when we had something.  So apologies to those that have left comments days ago but I just now got around to thanking/replying.

Even with all that going on, after finishing up stuff around the house one night this week, I decided to veg out with a beer watching sportscenter... but then flipped to the skinamax type channels during a commercial break, cause you know, I'm a guy.  The Secretary was on.  The one with James Spader as an attorney and Maggie Gyllenhaal as his masochistic secretary.  I'd never seen it, but had read lots about it.  Maybe next to McLintock! and Exit to Eden it's the spankiest American mainstream movie ever made.  (McLintock was awfully boring and only unintentionally funny, and the spankings were silly; meanwhile the lady that was in Tombstone and China Beach -forget her name and too lazy to look it up- was an interesting character, and plenty hot, but Exit to Eden also had Rosie O'Donnell talking about her periods in it.)  I figured any self-respecting spanko should see Secretary at least once, so I stuck with it.  I saw probably 2/3rds of the movie and... It was awful.
fixed

Every character in it was completely unbelievable and certifiably crazy.  The story was dumb, and the ending eye-rollingly ridiculous.  Yes, the secretary herself was plenty hot and showed plenty of nudity, which I like, but I can't imagine the James Spader character doing anything for female spankees out there.  He finally takes her panties down and doesn't whack her but instead whacks off and leaves?  He has her sit at the desk at the end until she pees on herself?!  Then he sees what's going on and leaves again not to come back until it's a media frenzy?!  Felt sorry for her boyfriend, not because of what happened in the movie but because I always thought of E.T. whenever he was around.

Don't know what I was expecting, but was completely disappointed at wasting over an hour of my life watching that.  It wasn't hot enough spanking-wise for me to be able to ignore the story and just wait until the good parts, and the story was so stupid I did not enjoy it as a regular movie.  Oh well.  I've seen it now. (er... most of it.)

Next blog posts... more retro spanking story sites and a spanking video website review.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

The Impact (and Pleasure) of Nudity

Yes, it's the holidays but I couldn't think of a good Christmas carol spanking lyrics parody so thought I'd talk about something a little more fun...

Awhile back a spanking blogger friend of mine posted a picture that showed her breasts. I was surprised at the time how much of a turn on it was for me.  There are a bajillion bare boobs on the internet yet her boobs turned me on more than any of those.  Her breasts were plenty nice-- don't get me wrong-- but there was nothing special about her breasts themselves.  What was exciting to me was that I was seeing HER boobs for the 1st time. Someone I'd chatted with a lot and considered a friend was sharing a part of herself with me (well, and the world) that I'd never seen before.

Another blogger friend of mine told me that she won't ever show revealing pics because she doesn't want to risk become calloused to or nonchalant about nudity and lose the butterflies or feeling of embarassment when she takes her pants down for a real spanking.  I get that and can completely respect it, even though I'm somewhat of an exhibitionist and showed a pic of my scrotum the first month I started this blog.

As I've said before... for me, embarrassment is one of the key ingredients in the appeal of spanking.  Nudity is a powerful part of that. The fact that someone is embarrased by showing their naughty bits but does it anyway turns me on.  In my relatively few real life spanking encounters, I've tried to play this up a bit by removing the panties very slowly, and telling the lady how nice she looks and how much I enjoy the view, hopefully eliciting a blush.  I'll save the baring of breasts or not during real spankings for another time.  It certainly deserves its own discussion.  Really, though, this post is not about actual encounters so much as what I enjoy seeing on the computer, and let's face it, that's a lot more frequent.

The embarrassment certainly plays a role in my enjoyment of nudity.  However, if I'm being honest I'm not sure the embarrassment completely explains the appeal of it. I have to admit I think that deep down, there's still a little bit of the boy who, although fascinated by spanking, would also spend the night with his dorky friend because that dorky friend knew where his dad's stash of Playboys was, or who would watch the scrambled cable channels late at night just hoping to catch a glimpse of a nipple. Maybe it's just me, but I suspect that a lot of guys are the same way. 

You didn't think I'd post something about nudity and just use words, did you?
Back to spanking, though... I remember several years ago there was a Samantha Woodley clip on Firmhand where she was getting paddled.  A couple of times the impact made her clench in such a way that you could see her short and curlies on the face-cam angle. I loved that, particularly since she's fairly modest when it comes to what she shows in front of the camera.

Another time, again years ago, I remember watching an intense Dallas spanking of a lady that was (and remains) no stranger to some pretty intense BDSM and hardcore films.  It was quite a spanking Dallas gave her, but although she was clearly naked... it was almost as if the clips were carefully edited to protect her modesty.  Nothing but her butt, back, and face showing. Maybe that's how some of his customers liked it, but not me. 

So yeah, I like nudity with my spanking.  Partly because it adds to embarrassment and vulnerability, but also because well, I'm a guy, and I like naked women.  On that note... enjoy this non-spanking but completely topical (and awesome) video I found.  Turn the sound up because the lyrics are hilarious too.



Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Upside down red bottom pics + a secret spanko tip re: posting cell phone photos


Okay so I've mentioned my favorite secret spanko who lives a few states away before and how I was trying to convince her to let me post some pics.  Quick recap- I was going to be a few states away awhile back, and though we could not make it work to actually meet, we hit it off very well via email, and next thing I know, every couple of weeks or so I'm sitting in the parking lot of a fast food place at lunch talking to her on the phone and directing her self spanking.  She'll usually send me pics afterward.  (As an aside, I really need to come up with a blog friendly name for her if I'm going to continue talking about her.  I thought about SSFAFSA -Secret Spanko From A Few States Away, but that sounds too much like a submarine named after college financial aid.) 

Well, she agreed, but was concerned that the pics she'd sent me before were either too explicit or included too much background that might be recognizable.  So today she said we would get some blog-worthy pics.  But first we had to get her butt nice and rosy.  So we did.  While we both agree that this is not near the same thing as a real spanking, it's the next best thing.  I'm always amazed at the astounding act of submission it takes for her to spank herself at my command, and today was no exception.  Lots of "ouchies!" and whimpers in that adorable sexy voice of hers.

The butt pics she sends me are almost always upside down.  As I've said, this is one of those initially annoying things that eventually becomes endearing.   "C'mon, I hold the phone down there and take a pic! It'd be awkward to hold it upright!"  So cute... Anyway, I think she has an awesome spanking model quality bottom, and wanted to share.

Here's a secret spanko tip... there's been some concern and a few stories in the media about the dangers of posting personal cell phone pics on the internet and how they might contain personal information about where the picture was taken from, and the cell 
phone owner.  See, for example, 

Well, I'm not sure about this, but just to be safe, pics I post are "filtered" through a screenshot.  I'm not actually posting the source image, but an image of the image... I save it to my computer from a program like Printkey that takes a rectangle image or screenshot of what's on my computer screen.  Here's a link to a free program like this:

http://download.cnet.com/PrintKey-Pro/3000-2191_4-10820437.html


Oh, and our federal government is on the brink of shutting down for about the 5th time this year unless Congress acts this week.  Say what you want about George W. and Nancy Pelosi, but this didn't happen until this Congress.  I'm trying really hard to hold it in and suppress it, but a bipartisan Congress-bashing political rant is threatening to burst out. 

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Let your switch flag fly!


Is there a stigma associated with being a switch?  If so, what exactly is it? I haven't been to spanking parties- all my experiences have been one on one... so maybe I'm just ignorant. 

For the vast majority of my life, being spanked has had zero appeal to me. I was spanked growing up, and that obviously was something I tried hard to avoid. Then when I discovered spanking on the internet, when I occasionally encountered F/M content I'd avoid it.  Ewww... Not my thing at all.  Made my penis shrivel. 

But then I decided I needed to experience it and that doing so would make me a better spanker.  I started looking into it and approaching people on the internet about it.  Part of my standard spiel is that discretion is important to me, cause, you know... I'm a secret spanko and all and don't want it being public that I'm into spanking.  But it was funny when seeking a woman spanker... Over and over I heard some variation of "Don't worry, I'm very discreet.  I have a few doms I spank regularly and haven't told a soul.  I won't tell anyone that you've been spanked either."  Really?!  It was as if the fact that I'm meeting an almost stranger for spanking was no big deal, but apparently it's the fact that I'd be on the receiving end that's a big deal to keep hush-hush.  

Why hide it?  Why not announce proudly that you can and have taken what you dish out?!  Is it some sort of machismo thing?  Are you afraid you might be seen as weak for having submitted?  I can kind of understand why one in a professional setting might not want to publicize the fact that they've switched.    The public is paying for a persona, and that's what they want.  Plus if a professional domme talked about being on the receiving end, they might be inundated with requests for that... so they keep that part hidden.    I totally get that.  What I don't understand are regular everyday tops that don't want to admit that they've been on the receiving end, and apparently swear their spankers to secrecy about the fact that they have been.  

I also don't get how any self-respecting spanker would not try it out.  That's easy for me to say now, I guess, because I have, but at the time I was plenty nervous about it.   However, I'd think if I were a newbie spankee that had always been fascinated by spanking but just starting out on those scary first steps of acting on it, I'd rather lay over the lap of someone that was familiar with what was about to happen to me.  

I've only been spanked twice as an adult, by Dana Kane, an excellent spanker.  It didn't turn me into a sub.  It was not as erotic to me as giving a spanking.  It hurt.  A lot!  But it gave me a whole new perspective anytime I see a spanking video or picture on the internet, and greatly enhances my appreciation of them.  I picked up some great new techniques that I can't wait to try out out on a lucky lady here soon.  And there are some undeniably appealing aspects of turning off, letting go, and just taking it.  (Not to mention the undeniably appealing aspects of having an attractive lady take down your pants while your stomach is full of nervous butterflies.)

Finally, to those tops out there reading this who say, "Nope, not me, that's just not how I roll.  I'm the dominant one."  Well, I'm reminded of a job once where on a weekly rotation, each team of employees would be assigned to clean the break room.  There was a janitorial service that came at night, and never mind that we were paying regular employees way too much an hour to be windexing once a month, that was just how it was done. As a relatively new member of what was, in essence, management, I suggested that A) we should talk to the janitorial service about it and it was a waste of resources for us to do it like this, but when that was shot down, I suggested that B) if this is how it's done, it would be a good gesture for the management team to take a rotation.  That idea went over like a pregnant pole-vaulter.  Nope.  What did I know?  I thought it was the wrong call back then, and think it's the wrong call for any tops thinking that way now.  Maybe some tops just want to keep that level of separation, but I'd go so far as to say you owe it to your bottom (if not to yourself) to experience it just once, or twice. 

If I'm ignorant about any perceived stigma, or ignorant about other reasons why tops might choose to keep their switching a secret, please enlighten me.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

follow up to the post on pirated/shared files

Two days after my post about pirated and shared spanking videos, another post by strict uncle was chrossed called the future of porn in which it was hypothesized that content producers would allow some loss leaders to be spread by pirates in order to attract paying customers. Even accounting for the fact that strict uncle's movie was a royal pain to download (gave up trying) that's pretty much what I said was one of the gray areas of those forums... That in looking at them, I found a few gems of websites that I normally would not have known about and then eventually subscribed to them based on the pirated/shared videos I found.  Then again, sometimes the top studios just go ahead and publish sample videos so as not to have to worry about allowing some to be shared.  Seems like kink.com (not my cup of tea) was the least aggressive in preventing their videos from being shared on those forums  (fora?) on the bad side of the tracks of the internet - there was nothing but those BDSM type videos last time I looked, and it doesn't seemed to have uhm, hurt their bottom... line.

(I removed the section of this post talking about the Heisman award.  Looks like a couple of poor souls wound up on here after a google search for blogs talking about that.)

Spanking startle in the kitchen- the Pillsbury doughboy needs 50 stokes with a spoon!

Okay so I see all these posts this week with ginger cookies, sugar cookies, etc... that's not the kind of stuff I want to put on my blog.  I mean, MY blog is about spanking, right?  But then tonight I'm trying to make brownies for this Christmas thing we have tomorrow, turn the mix box over to read the directions and see this... "2) Combine brownie mix, oil, water, and eggs... 50 strokes with a spoon..."  


Wait, what?  Mix thoroughly?  No.  Stir until blended?  No.  It said 50 strokes with a spoon.  I tried just stirring it 50 times and there were still clumps.  The brownies turned out fine, and I think a wooden kitchen spoon is a terrific spanking implement that doesn't get enough credit, but I thought this was highly amusing.

I know, pics or it didn't happen... so here you go- a pic of the back of the box with the instructions.

Here's more of a close up with my crappy phone's ancient camera...


Thursday, December 8, 2011

Early elementary spanking story

So the title might be just a bit misleading... I read for the 1st time tonight a great new blog called Spanko Ab Initio about one man's realization that he has been a spanko from as early as he can remember.  I'm right there with him.  Maybe I'll post my early recollections here soon.  But lately I've been listening to my child struggle just a bit with readers, and it's one of the most difficult, frustrating things I've been through as a parent.  Well, except for colic, and teething, and potty training, and learning the word "No" as a toddler, but I'm intentionally repressing those memories.  So inspired, I  thought I'd share this for your amusement. 


Ted walks to work.
Ted is a vet.
Vets help sick pets.
Vets help hurt pets.
Tom is a cat.
Can Ted help Tom?
Tom hurt his leg.
Ted helps Tom.
Now Tom is well.
Ted helps lots of sick and hurt pets.
Ted walks back from work.
Ted sees Deb.
Deb wants Ted.
Deb wants Ted to spank.
Ted wants to spank Deb.
Ted spanks Deb.
Spank, spank, spank!
Ted spanks Deb hard.
It hurts Deb.
Deb sobs.
Ted hugs Deb.
Deb hugs Ted back.
Deb is wet.
Ted is hard.
Ted and Deb go to bed.
Deb and Ted fuck.

Okay, so maybe that was stupid, but highly amusing to me.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Pirated/file sharing spanking videos and a secret spanko tip


Took a little mini-break from blogging but hoping to come back with a pot-stirring post about a subject  that's plenty controversial and I don't think has ever been discussed in the polite society of spanking blogs.

A couple of years ago, Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called Outliers in which he examined those super-acheivers in their field. One of Gladwell's theories was that it took about 10,000 hours to become an expert in a field. Don't know if I'm quite there yet, but I'm probably closer than I'd like to admit in terms of time (and a small fortune) spent consuming spanking movies on the internet. In fact, until a couple of years ago, watching spanking videos was the only way I expressed my spanking desires.

Ask any spanking content provider and they'll say that you have to pay for really good content. The reaction to the sharing of videos is just like that of Hollywood and the music industry was before itunes changed the marketplace and effectively killed the market for filesharing of more mainstream files.

Well, you don't HAVE to pay for top quality spanking videos  Just google "myfavoritespankingsite.com downloads" and you'll come across plenty. Search a little more and you can find forums or short-lived yahoo groups where people post links and share videos that they've uploaded.

Since I'm a secret spanko and already of questionable moral integrity... I'll admit it. I've done it.  It's been awhile. (Funny how talking to real people substantially curbs the spanking movie habit.) Spanking content providers have a seemingly valid argument that such activity hurts their business.  It's black-and-white.  Sharing is stealing, and it's wrong.  Kind of hard to argue with that, but I still see a little gray there. I'd think that most people sharing files for free probably don't have the means to subscribe to spanking sites, so it's probably not hurting their business as much as they might think.  Based soley on my personal experience, like the (ahem, hypothetical) college student who found a song on Napster and then bought a CD for his truck, I've subscribed to spanking video sites after 1st having been exposed to them on a file sharing site. (The super sexy spankamber.com and the decidely amateur but surprisingly fun girlsspankedhard.com both fit this.)

Further, there are unfortunately defunct sites and those videos would be lost without sharing. (Anyone remember Raven Hill or the excellent spankingcouple.com?)  I like those early videos that you can't purchase legitimately, back when spanking models had pubic hair.

On the other hand, there are true thieves out there.  Folks who get a password, and upload everything from a site in order to get points or karma as a big member of one of those file sharing boards. (Before you condemn, think about how satisfying it is to see your pageviews go up or get "chrossed" -the spanking video sharers have a similar if somewhat perverted community and give credit to each other.)  Far worse, in my opinion are those that share for a profit.  Yes, there are folks that try to make money from this.  True pirates, they upload and share tons of videos, and for each download, they get fractions of a penny.  But apparently those pennies add up in the developing world, because they keep doing it.  

This is a widespread issue.  Not long after I started communicating with other folks into spanking, I was surprised by this seemingly innocent younger girl who wasn't sure she wanted to meet me based on her morals but who tried to "teach me" all about how to get spanking videos for free and offered to trade passes she'd gotten on a hacker site.  

Readers, I'll shoot you straight here... I think it's worth supporting pay sites, and I have almost continuously for years and years.  I enjoy their content, and to continue to provide that content, they need paying subscribers... but I have no moral high ground to stand upon.  The few times I've visited these sharing sites in the last few years, I haven't downloaded the latest updates from a known site provided by one of the thieves, but searched for those classics.  However, I'll leave the moral argument to someone else.  But I will say... and here's my secret spanko tip... STAY AWAY!!!!

First of all, these sites are on the wrong side of the tracks of the internet town, and make that fact all too clear.  Better have all your pop-up blockers fully engaged and your anti-virus and anti-malware up to date.  Even then, they take forever to download, are slow as hell, and you have to download multiple parts (creating multiple opportunities to mess things up) and then attempt to join the multiple parts.  It's tempting, but if you succumb to the temptation, it's a royal pain-in-the-ass.  (And not in a good way!)  The links you download them from are called something like superupload.com, they get shut down frequently, and are not just from the wrong side of town, but located in the crack houses on the wrong side of town of the internet.  Trying to do this is a real beat-down.  You can supposedly get higher download speeds if you sign up and pay these downloading sites, but I wouldn't want to give my credit card info to a website that's encouraging questionable and probably illegal activities.  (even/especially if it's registered in Russia!)  I'm slightly paranoid, but have NEVER had a problem with CCBill giving them my real name and CC#.  From my understanding, it's quite a pain to become registered with CCBill, but that means you can trust the websites that are.

I've never actually uploaded something to share on one of those superupload.com type sites, but I recently tried doing so for a legitimate purpose. (I was going to send a copy of a demonstration-type video that I'd purchased on a clips4sale site to someone.)  I tried 3 times, and she still hasn't been able to download it.  Basically, the whole thing is a monumental pain in the ass.

So do yourself (and the spanking community) a favor and if you want top quality spanking videos... go ahead and pay for it.  You'll feel better about yourself, and spend more time uhm... enjoying the movies and less time getting thoroughly pissed off at your computer.

Hope I haven't pissed off any spanking industry types reading this by not condemning shared videos thoroughly enough, but I think the topic is worthy of real and honest discussion.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Aww... a broken hairbrush

I've mentioned once before another secret spanko living a few states away --the one that generated the mixed emotions when she went to see someone else and I acted as her emergency contact.  A little more about her... Early this year, I was taking a trip for a few days to a few states away and, out of curiosity mostly, I looked through the spanking related profiles on some site and hers caught my eye.  As it turns out, that state was a big place and we never met.

How it happened is kind of a blur... but we connected in a way that I hadn't before.  She got my quirky humor and liked my writing, and I liked hers.  We had a great deal in common: Vanilla spouses with zero interest in spanking, our own lifetime interest in spanking, both subscribed to spanking video websites for years, but just now taking baby steps toward playing for real with folks we'd met online, both about the same age- not too old, not too young, a delicious, voluptuous body just made for... okay, so maybe that was just her and not me.  We mostly didn't get deep and philosophical, just fun and light-hearted flirting and bratting and some picture sharing via email.  Anyway, one thing led to another, and one day I called her on the phone at lunch.  She has the most adorable voice.

Next thing I know, it's become a fairly regular weekly or semi-weekly event.  I "go out for lunch" but in reality I stop by Whataburger or something, park under a shaded parking spot, and call her up to discuss her latest transgression.  (Bonus Secret Spanko tip- make sure you have unlimited calling on your cell plan so 30 minute calls to a state a few states away doesn't show up on your bill!) Typically we'll discuss her naughtiness for a bit.  (She get so many "traffic tickets" if they were real her license would have been yanked by now, but a messy closet and/or shopping too much is always a good excuse too!) Then I'll tell her to gather her toys and take some or all of her clothes off.  What follows is an incredible act of submission.  Sometimes I tell her to spank herself for a given amount of time, but I don't like this as much as directing the spanks by counting them out and hearing the swat.  She really spanks herself.  If she didn't deep down want to, I'm a thousand miles away and sure can't grab her or grab her arm as she tries to cover up... but i have developed a system where I'll count and if she slacks off or hesitates I'll reverse the count.

"18"
whack
"19"
whack "oww"
"20"
pause...
"I didn't hear it... 17"
"sorry sir"
whack
"18"
etc...
sometimes it's even "17, 18"  whack-whack


It's gotten fairly intense as we've progressed, with even a few teary eyes and sniffles, though she says that even well-directed self-spankings pale in comparison to the real thing in terms of hurting.

We usually end up with some "happy fun times" for her as she masturbates and I enjoy listening- very frustrating in the Whataburger parking lot with a boner but unsatisfied!  Generally she'll send me a pic of her red bottom afterwards.  (And it's almost always upside down; "I hold my phone down there and take a pic, and that's how it comes out!" one of those starts-out-annoying-but-quickly-becomes-endearingly-cute things.)  I've been trying to talk her into being able to share a couple of those pics on this blog, (and maybe even contributing) but've been unsuccessful so far.

This week was different though.  She actually broke her hairbrush giving a directed self-spanking.  I had never actually seen a shot of the hairbrush she used before, but it looks (er, looked) really nice. (so do her nails, don't you think?!)  She gave me permission to post this pic, and hope my readers enjoy.

Everyone loves to brag about broken implements (me included) but how many are able to say they actually broke an implement on themselves? Very few, I'm willing to bet.



Monday, November 21, 2011

Twin Cheeks (director's cut edition)

Here's my entrant in Dana Kane's birthday spanking contest.  She published it not too long ago.  There's a little build up before the spanking action, but I liked writing it and thought it was different from most of the spanking fiction I've read.  I actually tried to tilt it more toward F/M than I might have, given the audience.  


So why am I publishing it again here?  I sent it too her late the last night the contest was open, hoping to win a free session.  I didn't win, but when she put it on her blog I noticed a few little things that bugged me- a typo here, a tense issue there.  I've tried to fix them.  I also had a couple of illustrations that were left out but are included here (don't get excited- they're not sexy illustrations and I actually edited one in MS Paint).  I've accused Dana of being a bit of a prude before, and she edited out a couple of lines she deemed too naughty for her blog.  Her blog gets 1,000 times the number of readers mine does, so I kinda understand.  Those naughty lines are back in this version.  It's actually a prequal to another story I've been working on awhile, but haven't published anywhere. Another reason I'm posting it is that hopefully it will provide me with motivation to get that one done (finally).  Awhile back I posted links to old school retro spanking story sites, and in that tradition, the code for this story would be Twin Cheeks (FF/M, F/F)


This story took place a few years ago. It was the perfect storm of events that led to a night I'll never forget. Although it's led to a great deal of fantasies, it's probably for the best that it hasn't been repeated.

My wife and I are spankos, I guess.  Mostly it's foreplay that turns us on- something we discovered about each other in college.  But on occasion we've spanked each other "for real."  Yes, I said each other. We're both switches, I suppose. I'd say typically about 70/30 it's me giving and her getting just because that seems like the more natural fit to our personalities and sexual identities. Actually it sort of fits the opposite of our personalities.  She's uptight and in control most of the time, and needs to let go and feel like someone else was completely in charge more than I did.  That was not to be the case on this night, though, which was anything but typical...

It was a Sunday night and I'd just helped brush teeth, read the same story for the fiftieth time, and tucked our two little kids into bed. My phone buzzed and it was Lauren (my wife) sending me a text.

"Get ur suit on n get ur butt out here S wants 2 play if n bring another bottle!"

So I stripped and got my swimsuit on, stopped by the kitchen to grab another bottle of pinot grigio from the fridge.  We had a bunch left from the party we had the night before.  It was a birthday party for Stacy (the aforementioned "S") who lived down the street and was my wife's best friend.  Stacy and I actually share the same birthday, year and all, and it wasn't really our birthday until Monday.  But I wasn't nearly as keen on celebrating mine, I guess.  Grabbed a couple of beers for me and headed out to the hot tub where my wife was enjoying the night with her friend.

Stacy is pretty much the polar opposite of my wife in every way.  Lauren's petite, brunette, and kinda curvy; Stacy's thicker, blonde, tall, and very curvy.  Lauren's quiet, almost shy, and sharp as a tack; Stacy's loud, outgoing, and well... not so sharp sometimes.  Lauren is for the most part straight-laced and proper, while Stacy might be described as earthy.  My wife has sophisticated refined tastes, and had grown up in privilege; Stacy had grown up in a small town, and my wife said sometimes that showed.  But they had been best friends for awhile, and they complimented each other almost as well as Lauren and I did.  In fact, Stacy and I had a lot in common. One could replace me with her in each of these comparisons and they still be accurate. (Well, except for maybe the "very curvy" part).  That, combined with our shared birthday, led to the running joke that Stacy and I were long lost twin siblings. And of all her friends I probably got along with Stacy the best, though I didn't always care for doing things with them because Stacy's husband Ted was so dull.  On the other hand, Ted was at home tonight, and Stacy was a big flirt, which I secretly kind of enjoyed. So I didn't mind interrupting their girls night to join them, especially since I'd been invited er, uhm... commanded to do so.

I brought out the drinks and joined them in the hot tub. Most of the lights were off and it was a gorgeous early fall night. Greetings and a beer later, Stacy was back to these "IF" books she's gotten the night before...

"Okay next question for you Dusty... 'If you could live in any other historical era, which would you choose?'"

"Uhm... how about the 1880's in the wild west. Driving cattle across the country and stopping in the little towns where the saloons had whorehouses upstairs!"

"Why did they call 'em saloons instead of just bars?" Stacy wondered aloud.

"Dusty! Can you just try not to make everything dirty? For once?!"

"Ha. Did you catch that honey? Dusty and dirt-"

"-You're gonna catch it tomorrow night. Just keep it up.  I'll remember, tough guy."  She wasn't really mad, but I knew she'd remember it.

"Y'all are so cute," Stacy chimed in, "Are ya gonna spank him?"

Lauren looked at me.
"Well...Answer her." I said.

"Yes, he'll get a spanking tomorrow night."

"For that though? I mean, he just answered a question."

"Stacy, tomorrow is my birthday, remember?  I'll get a birthday spanking. Actually probably a birthday paddling. Would you like to join us? It would seem appropriate." I said with a smirk.

"Oh NO!  No no don't think so... I'll let you play your kinky games but keep me out of it.  No thanks!"

A little background here... Somehow late one girl talk night Stacy found out about our spanking "kinky games" and was clearly fascinated by them.  She brought it up... a lot.  Of course, over the years I also heard probably way too much about her sex life, and her poops, and even her periods- and that was me!  Can't imagine what all my wife knew about her. Like I said, she was a little "earthy."  So maybe it was just natural curiosity that was voiced a bit more often than most in that situation, but I suspected she was really just a little TOO curious about it, and didn't mind telling her about our spanking play, so long as she kept it to herself.

"So even though I'll get it regardless, I kind of like to give her some motivation.  But sorry honey, I didn't mean to give a dirty answer.  I take it back.  No cowboys.  I'd be a pirate... searching for booty!"

This earned me a chuckle from Stacy and a splashy pinch from Lauren.

So it continued... back to the IF questions.  We sort of rotated around the hot tub so that whoever was reading the question could see to read it from the one light.  This was interspersed with gossip about the neighbors, people that came over last night, etc... a few more drinks, until Stacy reached for the other IF book.

"Alright y'all... this is the IF book about love.  Let's spice things up a bit." She flipped it open, "Great one to start off with, for you Dusty. 'If you had to have sex with someone of the same gender, which celebrity you choose?'"

"That's a stupid question. Pass.  None of the above."

"Nope.  Not good enough.  Gotta name somebody and give a reason why."

"I don't even know many celebrities. Alright, hold on... Got it,  Tom Cruise.  He'd know what he's doing, plus he's small so it wouldn't hurt much."

"Ewww!" but Stacy was laughing.

"Sick! You put way too much thought into that.  That's some more extra. Honey?! So wrong!"

"Better watch it, Dusty!"

"Lemme see that!" I grabbed the book away from Stacy and peered close so I could read it in the dim light. "Alright my twin sister, payback's fun.  This one's for you.  'Follow up...If you had to have sex with someone of the same gender, who from among your friends and acquaintances would you choose?'"

She answered immediately.

"You know that new couple at the end of the block that just moved in? What's her name? Deanne or something? And her boyfriend I think his name is Val, maybe?  Met them once... Seem friendly. They both have the same black hair- kinda long for him, kinda short on her. But no way you couldn't tell 'em apart. Something almost scary about him, like he could be a villian in a movie or something. But she's got a body on her though. Saw her picking up the paper in just a t-shirt the other morning when I was out jogging. I don't know... Something kinda alternative, kinda dangerous, but naughty about her.  Definitely sexy.  She smiled big and waived at me that morning.  So her... That's my answer. Whew!"

Lauren and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows. More thought went into that answer than my Tom Cruise response.  Stacy took a couple of deep breaths and had another big sip of wine. A little awkward pause...

"So Stacy... ever experiment in college?"

"Dusty! Thin ice, bud..." My wife warned me.

"Ha! That's alright Lauren. But I'm not going to answer, my nosey twin brother. We're not playing truth or dare, and I wouldn't want to spoil your fantasies!" she said with a wink, before grabbing the book from me.

"Oh Laaauren... 'If you could trade body parts with any of your friends and acquaintances, what would you choose?'"

"Your breasts.  Dusty's been staring at them all night."

"I'd trade you too. If you only saw them without my swimsuit holding them up... And the backaches, and the shoulder strap indentations..."

I decided it was best to just remain silent since my wife was correct.  Lauren grabbed the book back.  We weren't strictly keeping any order.

"Alright, Stacy...  'Follow up... If you had to live with the body of one of your friends and acquaintances, who would you choose?'"

Stacy paused, took another big sip, then paused another bit before answering.  Or, sort of answering.

"Let's play a different game. It's called the honesty game.  Dusty you were right I did experiment once in college. My sorority big sis during Hell Week.  Pledges had to live with our big sisses and it got pretty intense.  Never happened again though, and the next year when it was my turn my little sis didn't respond to my clumsy post-paddling advances like I had the year before I guess."

"Thanks for sharing, but I was half kidding and didn't mean to pry... Sorry about that, just trying to give you a hard time."

"No need to apologize, Dusty. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Guess my chest's gotten plenty of attention tonight, huh?"  She giggled and kind of squeezed her chest with her arms, making it (them) even more pronounced before continuing. "And I thought y'all should know that because it helps to understand my answer."

"Don't worry about. No need to defend yourself.  Heck I've never experimented like that but if I had to switch bodies I'd choose a woman's body too. Prettier, and I know how they work too." My wife chimed in.

"Wait did you say you were paddled?" I added.

"Well, no, and yes. [Big gulp finishing glass] I'd choose to be in Dusty's body. The birthday paddling from you thing. But wouldn't play with it or anything, don't get any ideas there, bud."

We let her words, and their implications sit in the air a moment.

"So you DO want a birthday spanking?!" I said with a grin.


Thursday, November 17, 2011

SecretSpanko tip #2 Keeping Pasty White (ctrl+v)

So you've set up your secret spanko email, you use Incognito in chrome or Private Browsing in Firefox or whatever in Internet Explorer to see spanking websites and maybe even chat with someone without leaving a trace in your web browsing history (This should be so obvious I'm not even going to cover it in a Secret Spanko tip)... you're covered, right? Wrong!

The human brain enables higher level thinking, problem solving, a conscience, etc... but there's a deeper level of the brain that does things like... making sure you breathe even if you're not thinking about it.  Computers are kind of the same way.  These "secret" browsing functions are a relatively new development.  They're really cool, but kind of advanced.  Deep inside your computer (if it's a PC) lurks the ancient reptilian part that remembers things like... no matter how many things you have open, if you hit Ctrl + Alt + Delete all at the same time, it will either lock or restart.  And if you hit Ctrl + c it will copy whatever's highlighted.  And if you hit Ctrl + v it will paste whatever is stored in the copy function.

What this means... even if you're very careful to cover your browser tracks, hide or erase all downloads, and then delete them from the trash... you can still get busted if your spouse/partner/significant other simply makes a mistake and hit Ctrl + v without having copied something new before they did it.  So you could have some secret spanko fun on spankingtube or fetlife, or blogs or wherever, find something interesting, copy and paste it to the drafts section of your anonymous email, shut the browser down, and think you're cool.  That is, until your spouse accidentally pastes Spankamber.com into the address bar the next morning.

I discovered this on accident.  I was having some personal naughty internet time, had signed up for a subscription site, and the password was given too me in an email.  It was something incomprehensible like XcG34!peq  ...so rather than type it, I copied and pasted the password.  Watched a few videos, and after uhm... satisfying myself, I shut down the private browsing session.  Then I remembered I actually needed to order something and get some work done.  For whatever reason when I tried to copy something and it didn't actually copy.  I hit Ctrl + v and guess what? XcG34!peq was pasted into the form.

Whoah!  How many times have I copied an email along the lines of suzysmackbottom@email and pasted it?  What if my wife were to mess up just like I did and not copy something but paste the last thing that was copied before she got on the computer after I was gone to work?!

I've tested it in both Firefox and Chrome.  Same result.  If you copy something in the supposedly "secret" web browser, it's stored on the computer's reptilian clipboard even after the "secret" web browser has closed.  It can be pasted into the regular web browser.

So... here's the tip. (just the tip!) after you're done with personal naughty internet time... copy something innocuous.  (like the word "innocuous" for example)


And for anyone wondering... the adorable housewife secret spanko a few states away had a wonderful spanking playdate that lasted almost all day. I didn't worry about her until the time for her to check in afterward approached and passed by just a little bit before she checked in. (Ran a little long because they had a lot of fun.)  I was relieved it went well, but felt a little odd because I didn't want to be nosy.  However,  she wanted to talk about it and I got excited listening to her recount of it.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

a strange mix of emotions - when you're the emergency contact for someone you care about who's going to meet someone for a spanking

After asking out loud about what I should blog about next, I decided to go with the most timely topic.  Every spanking safety tip I've ever read says if you're meeting a potential playmate, meet them for coffee first, and then if that works out, when you've talked about it and have agreed to play, make sure you have an emergency contact.  Someone who you'll contact when everything is okay and when you've left from your kinky little rendezvous.  That's good advice.  

Let me tell you though, as a true secret spanko, it's advice I've never ever followed.  By the time I'm thinking about actually meeting to play, there's been quite a bit of getting to know each other via email and phone.  I'd be more paranoid meeting someone at starbucks than a hotel or her apartment/house because I'm far more likely to bump into someone I know and have to try to come up with an explanation for why I'm drinking coffee with someone that is unknown to the person I bump into.  And emergency contact -schemergency contact!  Who  the heck is a secret spanko going to tell about this?!

But later this week someone who I genuinely care about is going to meet someone to get a spanking.  I've never actually met her, and I'll post more about her in the future, but she's a secret spanko, married to a vanilla husband, and we've become pretty good friends.  She's probably the most important person in my secret spanko life.  Once every couple of weeks or so, I call her at lunch and we engage in some directed self spanking.  She's the only one of my real life, er... sort of real life spanking playmates that I've told about this blog.

I've encouraged her to find real play partners- directed self-spanking is a poor substitute for the real deal.  So she set something up and I figured we should try to be safe and have her contact me before and after.

Here's the interesting part- this has generated a strange mix of emotions that I've never experienced before.  It's a mixture of:
Protectiveness - I worry about her and want her to be safe and get a little riled up thinking about the guy that's going to be spanking her.  You know how you can make fun of your family/school/etc... but if someone else does... a little of that.
Sympathy- because I now know how much a real spanking will hurt her.
Envy - of the guy that will be getting to really spank her, and of her for getting to play with someone near her.
Worry - what if this guy's a creep? takes liberties she's not prepared for- otherwise betrays her trust?
Happiness/Hope - glad that she's found something/someone that will hopefully fulfill her desires in ways I can't over the phone.
Pride - in her following through on something I've been urging her to do for awhile.
Nervousness - I want her to let me know she's okay, but I'm not exactly close and couldn't do anything immediately if my worst fears were realized. (don't worry, I have a plan just in case).
Jealousy - don't want to admit it, but yeah, probably at least a little pinch of this too.

I'm sure this is old hat to many in the spanko world who share playmates, but it's a little new to me, had not seen a post about this anywhere, and thought it was worth sharing.


Blogging about blogging

So many ideas about upcoming posts, and not sure which to go with.  I'm still new to this whole blogging thing, and think of ideas when I'm in the car, while I'm taking some personal time to sit down for a little bit with the fan on, etc...  I'm worried that if I post all my ideas for posts, will I run out of ideas pretty quickly? I found that if I start a draft post on blogger, and then save it as a draft, then post something else before finishing the earlier draft... when I finally finish my draft and post it, the post is behind the one I started later.  Apparently it posts as of the day the draft was started, not the day it was posted.  Annoying, since I have about eight ideas partially done as drafts right now. (Twin Cheeks, the adorable housewife secret spanko a few states away, how I feel about the adorable housewife secret spanko a few states away getting spanked by someone else, my phone, cool vanilla links, let your switch flag fly, pasty white, fetlife and spankos, etc...)

Then I wondered... by blogging about blogging, is that annoying to the reader?  Shouldn't I wait until I have a decent amount of posts before I'm allowed to blog about blogging?  Most blogs I read don't talk about the fact that they're blogging, it's just good post followed by great post, etc... But if I'm blogging about what's going on in my spanking life, well, starting this blog is the biggest part of it right now.  I guess it's kind of like on Modern Family or The Office where the character talks to the camera in a mock interview. Kind of annoying, but useful sometimes.

I'll take this opportunity to thank Dana Kane for publishing and saying nice things about my contest entry story earlier this week.  I'll say that I cringed when reading it and saw little things I needed to fix, like when I described a Kappa paddle as having angels and arrows on it. Any real sorority ladies among my readers? If so, perhaps you'll appreciate this.  Originally, it was a Pi Phi paddle, but I planned on including illustrations, and could not find a good Pi Phi painted paddle on Google image search.  I did find a good KKG paddle picture, so I replaced Pi Phi with Kappa in the story but missed the angels and arrows sentence.  As soon as I figure out how to do the click-here-to-read-the-rest-of-the-story thing, I'll publish the re-edited special edition director's cut version of the story here, along with a couple of naughty moments from the story that were left out of Dana's edit.  Just call me the George Lucas of Dana Kane contest entry story authors.


Sunday, November 13, 2011

Spankings are like hamburgers, and how to use this analogy



How do you explain the appeal of spankings?  

I've come up with a theory or analogy that I've shared a couple of times before, but figured this was the best forum to fully explain it.

The appeal of spanking...

It's erotic, but it's not just that. After all, it's easier to find a sex partner or straight porn than it is to find a spankee or spanking movies.

It's about submission, but most spankos (me included) are not into "slaves" or collars or rope bondage.

Pain plays a big role. I think there's an undeniable sadistic/masochistic element to those that are into spanking. But it's not just any pain. Shinkickerfinder.com doesn't exist as far as I know, nor does pokingwithneedlestube.com (And if they did, don't think either one would do much for me!)

Many folks talk about the emotional release they get with a spanking. Frankly, crying and tears are special and very appealing to me, but it's not just that either... Lifetime movies don't do much for me either.

I've read that childhood experiences can lead to one becoming a spanko.  Maybe the appeal is that spankos are compelled to like spankings because of painful childhood trauma. Still not sure what I think about that. I tend to think there's a grain of truth there, but that can't be the entire explanation... after all many spankos weren't spanked growing up, and braces were traumatic and painful for me yet I don't have an orthodontic fetish.

And to top it off, a spanking isn't a spanking, isn't a spanking... 

Bonnie had a recent brunch topic about how pure a spanko you are, but even among those who just want a "pure spanking" there's a wide degree of variance.  A foreplay spanking might have no element of punishment involved. A disciplinary spanking might be far more harsh and have no erotic element to it.

"Lift up so I can take your panties down." -as a spanking progresses past the initial warm up, this phase is a hot trigger for me. The lady is not only allowing a spanking to proceed, but is taking an affirmative step to help even though she may not be enthusiastic. On the other hand, some enjoy fake struggling involving a lack of submission, and many folks like restraints or grabbing the arm behind the spankees back or the leg lock.

Some folks like Lupus films style brutal canings. Others are horrified at those and prefer only hand-spankings.

This had led to my theory or analogy that the appeal of spanking is kind of like a hamburger. 


Each element of a spanking is analogous to the parts of a hamburger. By themselves, not all that appealing, but put them together and you get something delicious and fulfil your craving.

I figure you can break it down like this:

Buns - the spankee's bottom. (Seems appropriate) Enjoying bottoms I think is pretty universal among spankos.

Hamburger meat - pain. It's a pretty big part of it. Spankings hurt.

These are the only two essential ingredients. Combine those two and you have a spanking.

Where it goes from there is up to individual tastes.

Picklespunishment for something you've done wrong and the lecturing that goes along with it.

Lettuce - embarrassment; "Arch your back and spread your legs a bit more. I want to see all of you." Going to the corner to show off your red bottom; pointing out the spankees arousal; many fantasies involve witnesses.

Tomatoessubmission; "Bring me the hairbrush." Lifting up to remove the panties. Giving in and letting go because someone else is in charge.

Onionstears/crying/the emotional release; like buns, this just sort of seems appropriate. But I also think the warm comforting hugs are a part of this emotional appeal as well, even if the spanking doesn't lead to tears.

Cheesesexual stimulation; a comforting caress, a squeeze, a rub, even a finger. Maybe just the visual of naked flesh.

Condiments- a wide variety of implements or maybe even a special sauce!

edited to add an additional ingredient, in honor of Erica Scott, because she's an attention who... er hog, and even though she doesn't really like bacon...
Bacon- enjoying the ability to act out and uhm... "ham" it up in an intense situation not normally encountered. Whether it's bratting, or age play, or getting angry and asserting your rarely expressed dominance, spanking play offers an opportunity to act outsude the bounds of how we normally act, in a situation that's not normally encountered and far more intense than most interpersonal interactions.

I'm not saying this is a perfect analogy or that it captures every bit of what a spanking might be... not sure about mushrooms, or peppers, or even uhm, ginger root that one might want to add.  Also it's missing elements of a spanking like fear, nervousness, and butterflies beforehand... or the elation in having undergone and survived a good spanking afterward.  Nor have I figured out whether raw meat or well done equals a severe session or a more tame one.

But I think it's a good analogy and a good framework for discussion of desires and needs.  So... Here's how it can be used...

Application:
So you're a secret spanko maybe talking to someone for the first time that's a potential play partner... explain this analogy to them, and they'll think you've thought a great deal about spankings.  Then ask what kind of spanking they'd order if they went to Burger King and could have it their way...

"I'm not big on pickles, but have to admit, I'm plenty cheesy!"

"How can you have a spanking without pickles?"

Any comment on what the potential playmate is looking for in a "hamburger" is incredibly revealing as to their spanking desires; it tells you a lot about them and what they want.  Plus it may be easier for them to reveal their inner thoughts by way of the analogy than by verbalizing their hidden desires-at least initially.   Maybe I'm a complete dork, but I've used the hamburger analogy and it's led to some great conversations and a few great playdates. 

So... Am I missing anything in the analogy? How would you order your spanking? Would love to hear some comments about what kind of spanking you're in the mood for at the moment.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

PWI - (posting while intoxicated)

Guilty.  Since I'm doing this on the sly, I don't have much time to work on the blog, and when I do it's generally late at night or early in the morning.  And when it's late at night, and it's after a party, and I fix myself a nightcap... well, PWI can happen.  Last night I wrote a post having todo with spanking, then decided that since it was Veterans Day I should say thank you and wait to post the other until the next day.  So far so good.

But... after thanking America's veterans I went on and wrote a few more barely coherent paragraphs that ranged from British imperialism to the Civil War to presidential politics.  Oops.

I feel strongly about America and politics, but this is not a political blog.  Not only did those ramblings take away from a simple "Thank You" to our troops, but they were poorly written and didn't entirely make sense because I didn't explain my train of thought leading me from one topic to the next.    So I edited the previous post, and tried to fix it a bit.

However, I take full responsibility for it, and don't want anyone to see how I fixed it as covering up and not acknowledging my PWI transgressions... maybe I'll consult with Dana Kane about it!

I'm curious... anyone else ever guilty of PWI?

Friday, November 11, 2011

God Bless America!  I have this post all ready to go about spanking, but just felt like I should take the time to say thanks to our veterans who have served and protected America. I truly believe that it's the greatest nation on earth, in the history of the earth.  I am a true believer in American Exceptionalism.  This is a picture of the color guard marching to guard the tomb of the unknown soldier during hurricane Irene.  I've seen this, and have seen a president lay a wreath on Veterans Day, and can tell you that it is not the most moving part of visiting Arlington national cemetery.  The most moving part is seeing the perfectly aligned tombs of those that served their country.  The tour guide points out Audie Murphy's grave, and it's right next to and the same size as Joe Smith's grave, and thousands of others.

America has plenty of problems right now.  Yet despite it all, I feel truly blessed to have been born an American, and I owe a great deal of debt to our veterans, who fought to protect the land of the free and the home of the brave.

I think it's pretty cool that Veterans Day, unlike other national holidays, is not pre-scheduled for the nearest available Monday, but still on the eleventh day of the eleventh month, commemorating the peace following WWI.  Thank you.


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Loving Our (secret) Lurkers Day 6

Okay, so I'm a little new to the spanking blog world in terms of contributing to it, but I read a ton before I even had an idea of what my blog might be about or whether I could contribute.  My first comment on a blog was a few short months ago, and I got a lot of feedback from that comment, and the next, and the next, and the next thing I know, I'd decided to start a blog of my own.  Still a lot to learn about the blogging world on my part, but would love to hear from y'all.  (And one thing I learned... bloggers know how many of y'all there are- about 3,000 page views so far for my teeny tiny newbie blog!-- we just don't know anything about you.)

Given the theme of this blog, I'm thinking that there are far more lurkers by percentage than most, and you can comment anonymously.

This was an idea started by Bonnie on her blog, and let me tell you, her blog is a great place to start in finding the blogs that appeal to you the most.

So say hi, say what you like, what you don't like, and what you'd like to see more of, and give us a name to refer to you by- please no real names here!  There's some of my own fiction, some spanking site reviews, many more secret spanko tips, some cool sexy vanilla links, and even some of my spanking exploits coming up on this blog.  Lots of spanking blogs are participating, so those two or three you check every day... say hi.  The authors will really appreciate it, respond to it, and you might just make some new online friends. 


Monday, November 7, 2011

Secret Spanko tip #1 and some housekeeping

Okay so I kind of wanted to get back to what was to be the theme of this blog... helping out other secret spankos.  These will be tips from my experiences as a secret spanko that I want to share with others similarly situated, to keep them out of trouble and help them succeed in fulfilling their spanking desires.  I realize these might be more controversial than talking about getting my 1st spanking, but this was really the reason I wanted to start a blog, not just to talk about myself.  comments and suggestions welcome.

Secret Spanko Tip #1
Establish a "naughty email" through either yahoo or gmail. (There are advantages and disadvantages to both- probably outside the scope of this post, but either would do fine for those that will benefit from reading this.)

This may be a no-brainer to many of you reading this, and it should be.  However, you'd be surprised... I've met more than one on a matchmaking sight like spankfinder or something and when it progressed from pm's or chat to emailing, they used their normal email.  The one that goes straight to their phone.  We're not talking about something that could be misconstrued as a spanking name or even a generic name... we're talking a real name.  In other words, it wasn't robinrose@email or even sallysmith@email, it was more like rebeccaberkowitz@email... (all these names are made up, and just used as examples; if any of my readers is actually named Rebecca Berkowitz please let me know and I'll change it!)  Perhaps the worst was one who clearly used her work email, but the runner up... in one case, she used a private email, although it was in the format of allisonsheffield92274@email -- yup, her full name AND her date of birth!

I'm not a stalker, and probably 99%+ of the people you meet online to discuss spankings with aren't either, but don't take chances if you're a secret spanko.  Make it anonymous, especially if you're just getting to know someone.  One other thing- Gmail and Yahoo both have profiles.  Make sure when you set up your naughty spanko email that it's not connected to your other emails, and make sure that your profile matches your email address.  In other words, you could set up redhiney@email, but if your profile still says Daniel Jones, nickname DJ... guess what your email will look like to someone that gets it... DJ or Daniel Jones --not redhiney.

Even if you're not ready to meet people, it's still a great idea.  You can sign up for updates from your favorite sights or register for forums or follow blogs... without having to make sure that you delete all those spanking related emails from your regular account as soon as you've read them.  Use your phone's browser and when you're feeling "naughty" you can look up that account, but you won't be paranoid about checking your normal email.  And no phone buzzing late at night as a tipsey cute young thing you just met in the chatroom sends you an email!

The other advantage is that all your secret spanko life is now password protected.  Chose a good password.  Make it an acronym that you'll remember that isn't a word and that your vanilla spouse/SO won't guess.
Something like "Bolsyggas" (Bend over little sweetie your gonna get a spankin')

But here's a great big caveat --LOG OUT WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH NAUGHTY PLAYTIME!! Don't want your vanilla spouse grabbing your phone in the car to look up a number and your spanko name appears on the top of the Yahoo or Google search page!  And even then I erase the history from the browser of the phone, just in case.

One other advantage, and one you might not realize at first... the drafts section of the web based email, protected by a password, is a tremendous tool.  No way can I remember the names of everyone I meet in chat or messaging, much less their emails and even phone numbers.  Do a "compose mail" then jot down notes, and save.  You have a private notepad to help you remember and use for future reference.

I could go on and on about privacy and how to keep your secret interest a secret, if that's what you want to do, and probably all this is VERY basic to most of you reading this, and I'm not saying I'm an expert... but I don't see any other blog offering this type of guidance, and I think many would benefit from it.

Housekeeping... 
I keep messing with the colors and background on this blog.  Still not entirely satisfied with it, but I figure some art director at blogger.com that knows far more than me came up with suggested color schemes, so maybe I should go with one of those.

Also, in some emails I realized I was signing as "SS" short for Secret Spanko, of course.  I realized that "SS"  has some pretty powerful negative connotations.  So (mostly on a dare from barely pink) I changed the Google profile associated with my blog-related email to "Marky Marks" -sort of clever, sort of spanking related.  But then I realized that if I signed out as MM, well, that has all sorts of different connotations too!  So, secret spankos, let this be another lesson... think about the name you choose for your naughty email.  Maybe I'll just be Mark, or Mr. Marks.