Wednesday, November 16, 2011

a strange mix of emotions - when you're the emergency contact for someone you care about who's going to meet someone for a spanking

After asking out loud about what I should blog about next, I decided to go with the most timely topic.  Every spanking safety tip I've ever read says if you're meeting a potential playmate, meet them for coffee first, and then if that works out, when you've talked about it and have agreed to play, make sure you have an emergency contact.  Someone who you'll contact when everything is okay and when you've left from your kinky little rendezvous.  That's good advice.  

Let me tell you though, as a true secret spanko, it's advice I've never ever followed.  By the time I'm thinking about actually meeting to play, there's been quite a bit of getting to know each other via email and phone.  I'd be more paranoid meeting someone at starbucks than a hotel or her apartment/house because I'm far more likely to bump into someone I know and have to try to come up with an explanation for why I'm drinking coffee with someone that is unknown to the person I bump into.  And emergency contact -schemergency contact!  Who  the heck is a secret spanko going to tell about this?!

But later this week someone who I genuinely care about is going to meet someone to get a spanking.  I've never actually met her, and I'll post more about her in the future, but she's a secret spanko, married to a vanilla husband, and we've become pretty good friends.  She's probably the most important person in my secret spanko life.  Once every couple of weeks or so, I call her at lunch and we engage in some directed self spanking.  She's the only one of my real life, er... sort of real life spanking playmates that I've told about this blog.

I've encouraged her to find real play partners- directed self-spanking is a poor substitute for the real deal.  So she set something up and I figured we should try to be safe and have her contact me before and after.

Here's the interesting part- this has generated a strange mix of emotions that I've never experienced before.  It's a mixture of:
Protectiveness - I worry about her and want her to be safe and get a little riled up thinking about the guy that's going to be spanking her.  You know how you can make fun of your family/school/etc... but if someone else does... a little of that.
Sympathy- because I now know how much a real spanking will hurt her.
Envy - of the guy that will be getting to really spank her, and of her for getting to play with someone near her.
Worry - what if this guy's a creep? takes liberties she's not prepared for- otherwise betrays her trust?
Happiness/Hope - glad that she's found something/someone that will hopefully fulfill her desires in ways I can't over the phone.
Pride - in her following through on something I've been urging her to do for awhile.
Nervousness - I want her to let me know she's okay, but I'm not exactly close and couldn't do anything immediately if my worst fears were realized. (don't worry, I have a plan just in case).
Jealousy - don't want to admit it, but yeah, probably at least a little pinch of this too.

I'm sure this is old hat to many in the spanko world who share playmates, but it's a little new to me, had not seen a post about this anywhere, and thought it was worth sharing.


  1. It wasn't that long ago that I told my best friend (vanilla) that I was going to meet a guy from an online encounter. Of course, I was officially single, so it didn't raise any alarms -- I didn't tell her about the spanking bit. It was comforting to know that she was waiting to hear from me, even though she lives many states away.

    It's great to be a comfort to your friend. I hope it goes smoothly for her. A real-life encounter will only heighten your phone sessions, I think. :)

  2. Thanks, Pink. It went smoothly. and we had a great talk/debriefing this afternoon. You're right- She said at one point it was helpful to relax knowing someone knew where she was.