Friday, November 4, 2011

The Texas judge video, my own HS spanking, and a damper on my spanko enthusiasm

This isn't a popular topic and isn't going to be one of my more fun posts...

Against my better judgment, I clicked on the link. Couldn't help it.  For those of you living under a rock, there's a video circulating all over the internet of a father (and one stroke by the mom) whipping his 16 year old daughter with a belt for downloading a pirated song.  Apparently she set up a camera, recorded it, and held onto it for seven years..I'm not going to link to it but you can find it on youtube or CNN or any network now.  The daughter and mother appeared on the Today Show, and the father, a county court-at-law judge has admitted that it was him in the video and claimed that his daughter put it on youtube now because he's finally cutting her off at age 23.  From my experience, county court-at-law judges are not exactly brilliant legal minds but fit the stereotype of both a big fish in a little pond and a Napoleon complex, particularly in small counties.

Look, I'm not totally opposed to parental spankings.  We have a couple of preschool kids and I freely admit that I've spanked them.  Rarely, but necessarily, and if I had to do it again I still would have.  Go out the front door and into the street without asking; try to stick something in the electrical outlet, or even initially to make the point that when we count to three we mean business... A spanking is an effective and powerful way of communicating the seriousness of the event, especially to children that are just learning to communicate and reason.  They never ran out in the street or tried to stick something in the electrical outlet again, and they come before we get to three.

But this scene is awful... and watching it evoked powerful flashbacks and an involuntary emotional reaction from me.  I experienced something similar but not nearly as bad in high school, like the girl in the video it was in my bedroom, but instead of a belt, my dad used a 2x4 he cut in the garage.  If I'd done something wrong, I can't remember what it was. (problem #1) but it basically boiled down to a great big fight between my mom and I.  In the end, after screaming and violence (I was bigger than my dad) if I wanted them to pay for college and not be kicked out out the house I'd submit to them and take a spanking because I had been so disrespectful toward them.  What finally made me give in was knowing that my little brother and sister were listening to us scream at each other, throwing insults, and just wanting it to be over.  One of the worst parts of the video is hearing the dad scream to get the little sister out of there before he begins.  So I ended the fight and said fine.  Took three anticlimactic board swats.  Unlike the girl in the video I wasn't really terrified, but the scene is still etched in my memory to this day.

They wound up not paying a dime for my college, and I swear any success I've had is in spite of, not because of my parents.  My mom's in poor health, my dad's drifted from job to job, and we've reluctantly helped them and will continue to do so.  But seeing that video really affected me.

The blog's going... over 1,500 visitors (Thanks Bonnie!) I have a fascinating local prospect, and Dana Kane's coming back to Dallas... but after seeing that video, it makes me wonder if my parents still somehow won because I'm so into spankings decades later, and instead of seeing a disciplinarian or a new spankee, I need to be seeing a therapist.

Curious as to your thoughts about the video or whether your traumatic childhood experiences fed into your spanking fetish... anonymous postings on.


  1. Your parents won NOTHING, except maybe a share of a prize that belongs to many -- the Lousy Parenting Award. That was a chilling story. The fact that you still help them speaks volumes; you grew up well despite them.

    The video is horrible; I have not seen all of it, just clips. I don't know if I could stomach all of it. That father needs a size 16 foot up his ass.

    Wiring is wiring, hon. I know of people who endured all sorts of dreadful corporal punishment as kids, and still grew up to be spankos. Don't overthink this, for your own peace of mind. What happened to Hilary Adams was abuse. What we do is consensual and of our own free will. Big difference.

    I daresay, knowing Dana, that you'll get way more benefit from seeing her than from any therapist. More fun, too. :-)

  2. I saw clips on the news, and have no intention of watching the whole thing. Abuse, plain and simple.

    Many of us do manage to grow up healthy and sane in spite of our parents, not because of them. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.


  3. A while back I got into it with a popular blogger about the same thing. Seems this idiot in Tenn. was spanking his female employees for lateness and other offenses. He was charged with abuse and has since been jailed.

    How is it that a parent can get away with the self-same thing?

    I agree with Erica Scott about the south and their choice of "Judges".

    Let me tell ya, Erica, the southwest ain't much better.

    Should this guy be jailed? I don't know. I honestly think it is a video depicting child abuse and, therefore, the police should do something about it. The Chief of Police was interviewed about this but hemmed, hawed and down right kissed his "Good Ol' boy" pal the judges rump by deciding too much time had gone by. FYI, having been a cop, the statute of limitations is, minimally, 5 years in most states and the maximum is 25.

    I grew up with a LOT of corporal punishment. Not just spanking (face slapping for talking back; back of the head slapping for being "stupid").

    I consider it a strong point in my favor that I chose a peaceful path and have tried to reason with children or young people rather than strike them and give them a mixed message.

    I do not think that my proclivity for spanking a female bottom comes from my childhood. In fact, I have made every effort to make sure it doesn't. Cruelty, impatience and a lack of self-control are the worse character flaws in a dominant.

    In parenting, those same flaws lead to children with baggage they will eventually dump on someone if not the whole of society.

  4. Thanks for the kind words Hermione and Erica.

    Chev- I'm new to blogging and don't know what "popular bloggers" are saying, but I'll admit that I'm surprised there has not been more discussion of this. Not sure whether traumatic childhood experience lead one to becoming a spanko, but I've received a few emails recounting similar scenes in response to this post. I think they were/are more common than most know. No one advertises their worst part of growing up. On the other hand I know there are many spankos that were fascinated but NOT spanked growing up. Thanks for your input.

  5. I was paddled and whipped as a child, but I can't say any of those experiences were traumatic. I doubt they had much bearing on my adult interest in spanking.

    The video is probably the tip of a very big iceberg. I'm sure that it's only with modern small video cameras that there's much chance of this being caught on video. But given how many people think hitting children is okay and just the normal variability of behavior, there are probably thousands of incidents like this every year. It's just they aren't caught on video.

    Personally, I think corporal punishment should be limited to consenting adults. I'm sure that it has been used successfully by many parents, but I suspect that the success depends more on their overall loving relationship with their children than on the effects of that kind of punishment itself.

  6. Thanks RP, I'm still not completely sure how I feel about whether spankings as a child carry over and lead to a spanking interest as an adult or not. And I think spanking of very young children has a place, as I mentioned. But I think that video showed abuse not spanking, and I totally agree that we're seeing just the tip of an iceberg. That is the 1st and only time I know of that someone has filmed their parental whipping-I hesitate to call it a spanking- but would not be surprised to see more in the near future.

  7. Coming to this a while after...and having seen the video, I think it totally counts as abuse. However, I was spanked as a child up until the age of around 10-12, and I honestly think that it was beneficial. Spanking can work with children, to a greater or lesser extent depending on individual personalities. But something is clearly wrong if a parent feels the need to continue spanking into the teenage years, and to such an extent. I don't think my childhood experiences had anything to do with my enjoyment of consensual spanking now, but I have a spanko friend who was spanked later into his teens, and he loves spanking now. His girlfriend is fully aware of his tastes and activities in this respect, but she isn't interested, having received a similar upbringing, if not a bit harsher. I think that goes part-way to showing there isn't so much of a correlation really.