Wednesday, January 4, 2012

another hamburger/spanking analogy- GirlsSpankedHard reviewed

As y'all know, I really like hamburger/spanking analogies... Here's another:

I'm a bit of a foodie- I admit it. I watch the Food Network sometimes and recently visited an out-of-town restaurant that was featured on it for the upscale hamburgers. The decor was modern, minimalist, and still impressive. The burger was indeed amazing. Havarti cheese, these peppers they'd done something special to, homemade spicy mayo, perfect round and huge patty seasoned in a way I would never have tried on my backyard grill that fit the homemade wheat bun... Loved it.  Worth ever penny.

But there's another burger place close to my office that I love too. Looks like a dive but the parking lot is always packed. They grind their own meat but it's served on a store bought bun.  No fancy condiments, just yellow mustard and a square of American cheese. Served on paper in one of those red plastic bowls, the burger drips and is messy and delicious.  

The decor is junky (maybe even dirty) and there are yellowed actual newspaper articles (remember those?) from before the Food Network started naming it the best burger in the city.  If I were to open my own burger place, it would look something like that.

Well, in case you hadn't figured it out already, my first spanking website review was of the newly launched Dreams of Spanking and I was amazed at the high quality, classy, and ambitious content they provided right from the start.  That's the fancy place.

GirlsSpankedHard could not be any more different from that.  Still, it has plenty of appeal, and has my recommendation.  It's more like the spanking website I could come up with if I tried to do it myself.  I've seen a few preview videos on spankingtube, but have not seen it promoted really anywhere else. 

Where to begin? GirlsSpankedHard is home made, and looks like it. The layout looks like, well, a late 90's porn site. I'm sorry, but is that blood dripping on on the font of the word "HARD" on the logo? Yup.  Don't worry, the spankings are not nearly severe enough to warrant that. I've included several screenshots below, all copyright GirlsSpankedHard.

It's pretty much a guy in his garage, and he brings in models and shoots video as he spanks them with a varitey of implements.  The videos are broken down into segments  based on each implement.  So you'll have a otk hand video, a hairbrush video, a small paddle video, a belt video, a crop video, a switch video, a cane video, and several more he has a lot of implements... for each girl.  Each video is about 3 minutes long. After the first couple of videos, the lucky lady is usually naked.  No single video is that severe, but put them together and cumulatively, it's quite a spanking most of these ladies take. The positions change as the implements increase in severity:from otk to over a bench or stool to kneeling or lying face down on a table to standing with outstretched arms secured. I'm not a big fan of tied down spankings generally but don't mind it here mostly because of the atmosphere.

A little about the unique atmosphere... He the spanker-dont know his name is just a friendly guy, and converses naturally with the ladies for the most part. No ordering them around or talk of punishment, just "Next up let's try the ruler.  It's gonna hurt, do you need a rub?" kind of thing.  He's not exactly stern, or dominant, or intimidating.  At some points it's almost like he's soft and lacking in self confidence.  He chuckles a lot and if I had to describe him in one word it would be friendly.  I like to think I'm a very friendly, fun loving, joking spanker and prefer that to a strict disciplinarian style, but he takes that to an extreme, especially in the earlier series.   I think this might be a downer to those who like a dose of dominance and submission in their spankings. However, watching some of these videos again in preparation for writing this, I had two thoughts- either: 

A) he's getting better with some more experience, or 
B) as the site has matured a bit he's attracted better models who are into it and he was being gentler with very new girls in the beginning who had never been spanked before (or most likely a combination of both).

One thing I really like about the format of these videos is that it's real. There's no acting at all, which given the low budget look, I can't imagine a believeable scene requiring acting coming out of this garage.  Again, keeping it very real is probably how I'd do it if I were to start a spanking site on a shoestring hobby budget. It's almost like all the scenes are "behind-the-scenes" updates. You can really learn a little about the personalities of these models in this format. One is totally not into it and sort of a wimp. One is brand new to spanking but has a great attitude and funny, etc...

There are a couple of spanking models I've seen on other sites, including an adorable redhead with a lot of tattoos who uses a different name here than she does in her appearances elsewhere. I won't link the two names in writing here, but a little hint- she was nominated for a recent award for one of her scenes with Dallas. And I'd say her scene on GirlsSpankedHard was almost close in intensity. She seems to enjoy being spanked and her pale white skinned bottom turns bright red.

By far my favorite lady on the site is "Sophie" -and I'd go so far as to say that she's maybe my favorite spanking model on any site. Where do I begin? Her body is great. Not model-thin so much as cheerleader-healthy. One tattoo and hair dyed blonde give hair just a little pinch of "I'm a fun girl". Speaking of just a little pinch, her fabulous bubble butt just about begs for one. Her face is very pretty, with blue eyes and an awesome smile. Just as an aside, pouty faces can be sexy, but the power of a smile to make a woman look even better is something that's truly lost on so many models.

Sophie giggles easily, and her nervous laughing at upcoming spanks just does it for me, for some reason. She'll even smile through her tears at something the guy says.  But in her two sessions, she takes two of the three most intense spankings on the site. I have never seen her on any other site, but someone please tell me if I somehow missed her somewhere else- I sure hope so.

Speaking of her two sessions... That leads me to one of my complaints about the site.  The updates are not in chronological order!  We're still missing the last scenes from Sophie's 1st scene, and being given updates on her later scene.  I'd very much prefer to be shown all scenes in one lady's spanking, and then the next, rather than mixing them up.  

Other complaints/quibbles-
  • There was a big (albeit understandable) break in the updates stemming from flooding caused by Hurricane Irene this fall.  Kind of hate to pick on him for this, but just be aware- it really is home made, and that kind of thing goes with the territory. Updates are now monthly?
  • Each video has the intro title screen and description, but this lasts almost 30 seconds in most cases. annoying need to fast forward while watching every movie
The download speeds are good, and you can download all the content in a couple of nights.  Cost is I think $27 for one month, $17 after that, or discounts if you purchase two or three month deals.  I can't give the site my highest recommendation, but the content is good enough that I wanted to give the site some exposure, and definitely recommend that every spanking video aficionado subscribe at least once, if not for the unique format and atmosphere, than at least for the adorable redhead and awesome Sophie scenes! 


  1. A spanking site I'd never heard of! I'm tempted. Thanks. Nice review.

  2. you're very welcome, anonymous. thanks for the comment.