Before we get to the story, to get you in the mood here's a funny song about dipping tobacco from Robert Earl Keen (audio only).
SMACK SMACK SMACK!
She started awfully strong. "Hey, what happened to a warm up?!"
"This [SMACK] is [SMACK] a warmup. I'm not using the hairbrush yet."
And she was, carrying the long thin wooden kitchen spoon.
Next thing I realized, she had scooted up in front of me again, her legs still spread.
"Honey, I love you, and I had to do that for you, and for us."