Friday, February 17, 2012

I knew I was a spanko when...

...when I realized that my middle school fantasies about one of the hottest girls in our school (who just so happened to live down the street) were not the normal middle school boy fantasies about a hot girl.  No, my fantasy was probably a lot more detailed.  

A bit of background- this girl was very pretty, and developed early, but she was also a "bad" girl.  I heard stories about how she had gone to the skating rink with high school guys.  (gasp!)  A lot of people in the school talked about her.  I talked to her, and rode bikes and played baseball and football with her little brother, but she was definitely above me in social standing.  We were both in the crappiest neighborhood that fed into the good middle school.  We talked during the summer, but she ignored me at school.  We were secret friends in middle school, but drifted even further apart in high school.  Had no idea what ever happened to her, until a couple of years ago when everyone was discovering facebook for the first time.  Still pretty; married a minor league baseball player.  

Anyway, back to my fantasy... It was that she got caught for something bad and was going to get sent for "licks" from the vice principal the next day, and she was scared.  (This was a real possibility in my middle school.)  She came to me and I comforted her, telling her it would be okay, but then just to see if she could take it, she asked me to paddle her.  Practice, you see.  At some point she took her jeans and then panties down, and that was about where the fantasy ended because, well... I was ready to fall asleep.  I realized at the time that my fantasy was not normal, and that I had a sick fascination with spanking.

There were other moments before and after... still remember spending the night in early elementary school with a friend and hearing his sister get a spanking; still remember sneaking one of my mom's trashy "bodice-ripper" novels into my room and reading one scene over and over again until I was, well, ready to fall asleep.   (I've always been a voracious reader and a night owl, even before the internet existed.) Then there was that discovery of the Penthouse Variations magazines with stories and spanking pictorials that really sent me over the edge.  Truthfully though, it was the realization following that fantasy about the hot girl down the street that made me realize I was really into spanking, and although I knew it wasn't normal, I was okay with it because I enjoyed thinking about it so much.

On a related note, it appears that the SpankoAbInitio blog is at least taking an extended break, and that make me sad.  That blog was all about early thoughts about spanking, and tracing the interest in it back to childhood memories.  ("Ab Initio" means "from the beginning" in case you wondered.)  I thought it was an exceptionally strong theme, but was worried that he would quickly run out of blog post topics, with such a narrow focus, and it appears he has. There's a finite amount of posts one can make on that topic- heck I just detailed most of mine in one post.  But I do find these early recollections fascinating of different people that are into spanking.

If you're reading this, SpankoAbInitio- take courage, and please keep going.  For the rest of you, I was pleasantly surprised (maybe shocked is more descriptive) to the response my First Posts are cool topic got, and I think it would be equally entertaining for folks to write about when they realized that they had an abnormal/unnatural affection for spanking.  This isn't nearly as original, because I've read several blog posts about this very same topic, but for those of you that haven't- let's hear it.  When did you realize you were a spanko?


  1. I remember Variations. It was pretty hot, but I only took peeks at it at the newsstand. I was too shy to actually buy one.


  2. I read this post last night and was nervous about leaving a comment because I've not been spanked very long at all (not even a year), but I now LOVE to be spanked. I was converted, if you will;)!


    P.S. As usual, very good post!

  3. I guess I always suspected it, but I definitely knew it when I was 14 and I made the following entry in my diary (it was the only year I consistently kept one, and it's mainly full of teenage moans about how much I hated my parents)

    "Today I finally spanked that ineffably naughty imp Janet" (Yes I was pretty fucking pretentious then too). The memories of that day gave me wanking material for months.

    I must do a post about my school experiences; there were quite a few!

    All the best


  4. Hermione- I didn't buy one either... but I found a few in my friend's dad's stash of playboys and other porno mags in middle school. He had so many of all kinds... I actually stole a couple of the Variations, hid them under my mattress, read them for a few days, and returned them. This is what men did before the internet, and what middle school boys did in the summer without enough adult supervision!

    Kitty- Thank you. You're something special, in more ways than one. I actually thought about you when I posted this, but figured most spanking blog readers have had a different experience.

    Tim- you spanked a girl when you were 14?! I won't hold it against you that you kept a diary or used words like "ineffably" at that age. You the man! wow... I think if I ever used "ineffable" growing up it was referring to good Baptist or Church of Christ girls who were waiting until marriage!

  5. "if I ever used "ineffable" growing up it was referring to good Baptist or Church of Christ girls who were waiting until marriage!" - ROFLMAO!

  6. Glad you liked that Hermione- couldn't resist.

  7. I know for me, the realization came as an adult when I stumbled upon likeminded people on the internet and was like, 'wow! my thoughts are NOT abnormal and deviant! They're okay!! There is a sub-culture here, and it has a name: spanko!'

    I've had the thoughts as long as I could remember, even from a young girl. I never dared talk about it, altho I fantasized about spanking and BDSM scenarios in my head often. It wasn't until my 20's that I came upon others that I realized, "YES! I can embrace this!"


  8. Thanks for the comment, sarah. Yes, that's probably another moment shared by many spankos- the "Oh my gosh, this stuff is on the internet!" realization, followed by hours and hours spent exploring it.