Sunday, February 5, 2012

Scheduling Sportscenter on the Lifetime Network... Brady, Manning, and how "alpha male" is relative.

Not gonna lie... It's been a frustrating week as far as writing for my spanking blog goes.  A couple of posts I thought were comedic gold (at least I was chuckling while I composed them) were greeted with... the sound of crickets chirping.  At least it hasn't been cold enough to kill the crickets so they can still chirp.  I've been mentioned a few times on other blogs lately, but it hasn't affected the number of people who read my blog a bit.

As I was whining/bitching about this privately to a friend, and talking it through in my head, I mentioned the fact that the spanking blog world is dominated by female spanking blog writers, and maybe trying to write my way was just sort of like trying to broadcast Sportscenter on the Lifetime Network... she agreed that male spanking bloggers have a tougher time gaining a readership.  I wondered if Secret Spanko was just doomed to failure.

Fuck it.  I won't give up without a fight.  Even if males are supposedly struggling in general with the new economy on a profound scale (and that's a real live journalist essay not a spanking blogger post).

So here's a couple of heartfelt Lifetime Network moments, meant to make the female readers go "awww..." and gain at least some sympathy comments!

Frustrations in the spanking blogging world are NOTHING compared to real life frustrations. For real!   This weekend we simultaneously took our baby crib to the storage shed, cleared out the closets and helped my grandmother into their "new apartment" (aka assisted living facility).  The hardest part, honestly, was going through the baby shoes.  Even though I'm about to get a snippy-snip-snip, and we both agree that's for the best... seeing those little bitty shoes makes it tough. I just about teared up as we boxed them up to give away or donate.

But I'm not just leaving the Sportscenter-on-the-Lifetime-Network as an idea... just tailoring my writing to the female crowd- NO! I'll go with this topic and discuss it too... see, married women would prefer to have an affair with Eli Manning than Tom Brady.  Wow!  I mean, Tom Brady's the quintessential alpha male... He has a butt chin, gorgeous jaw-line and locks, endorsement contracts out the wazoo, multi-million dollar supermodel girlfriend, stands tall in the pocket... He's the Man!

So smug
can't you just small the cologne?!

she's even hotter than my last girlfriend

But wait... the slow-talking, more cute than hot guy who has played second fiddle to his brother for a decade now Eli Manning ranks higher in the number of attached ladies that would like to, uhm... get to know him?!  Kinda crazy, but kinda understandable.  After all, Eli. might not be the alpha in his family, but studies show that birth order is not nearly as applicable as one might think once the child is out on his/her own and not directly connected to the family.  Plus Eli's a champion in his own right.  If he were to walk into any bar or grocery store, he's by gosh an NFL champion quarterback, and it seems silly to think of him in a beta male kind of way.  I pretty much guarantee you he could whip the ass of me and any "alpha-male" referred to as the head of the household of any and every domestic discipline blog... I think it's funny how he's considered a beta male in the news media.
Brady: I'll kick your ass.  Manning: Huh?!

There've not been many Super Bowls that I cared less about recently- I dislike both teams; but then I thought of Eli, and how he doesn't get enough respect... I'm no NFL quarterback, and I don't have a multi-million dollar contract, but I sympathize with Eli.  I'm glad the Giants won. (Even though it was a travesty that Parcells didn't make it into the HOF, but I guess that's another post.) I sympathize in part with Eli because I have a "baby face" and because I've been accused of being a "beta male" (because I've switched) when in the vast majority of circumstances I'm more of an alpha than all but maybe baby-faced Super Bowl winning NFL quarterbacks!  ...but I think Eli deserved to win just to make all those truly desperate housewives happy, and to silence his many critics.


  1. I definitely think that, for the most part, Eli is an Alpha in his own right.
    However, he often presents as beta, because that's the role he was relegated to in his childhood and even his young adulthood. He had to go pretty far to get out from under that shadow, but now that he's found the sun, he stands tall and proud as himself. But he'll probably always have moments where he looks and sounds like a beta, because of his past.
    He can fill either role, easily and comfortably, and that only serves him well.

  2. I think there is a place for male bloggers so don't stop.

    I think Eli is just as much an alpha as his brother is. Just portrays it differently. I happen to like both the Giants and the Colts. If there ever was a "Manning Bowl" (they have played against each other, just not Super Bowl) I probably would be for Eli. But then there is Payton. I would see-saw back and forth. Both of them are very good quarterbacks and play well.

    I didn't watch the game because I don't have TV service right now, but I heard it was a good game. The teams were matched pretty well in spite of a Pat not catching the ball (or so I heard).

    Anyway, I am mostly a lurker, but just keep blogging because I do check in.

  3. Please don't stop blogging. Not to diss the women bloggers, but I so enjoy reading the male perspective:)! Keep up the good work!!!


    P.S. Daddy was cheering for the Patriots on general principle of being against anything New York, lol!

  4. Well, I couldn't care less about football, so I don't want to have an affair with either one of 'em. But while I'm not a sports fan, I can't stand the freaking Lifetime network either. So I guess I'm somewhere in the middle.

    That being said, please don't stop blogging. :-) You do have things to say; it just takes a while to find an audience, what with 5 bajillion blogs out there. Patience, grasshopper.

  5. Thanks for the comments Anon. - the alpha/beta phenomenon is fascinating to me, and may even be worth a separate blog post. Part of my pint was, what more could Eli possibly do to become an alpha male? He's clearly more successful than 99.99% of the population, me included, but the public perception is something else.

    Bobbie Jo, Kitty, and Erica- no worries, I won't quit, and wasn't threatening to quit, just voicing some frustration that I probably shouldn't have in public. (this post will definitely be tagged PWI). Thanks so much for the kind and encouraging words.

    Oh, and Erica, I thought there were 80 bajillion blogs out there- but you'd know better than I would.