Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Wide Stance

courtesy of spanking blog
I was watching some spanking videos the other night and noticed how often the spanker told the young lady "Wide stance... wider." before giving her swats.  I suppose that the "wide stance" command sounds a little bit less sexual than "spread your legs" and maybe that's why he used it.
courtesy realspankings, home of the "wide stance" command
I suppose there are some advantages to a wide stance while bent over for a paddling.  You're less likely to get knocked off balance, probably.  Maybe it allows the penitent to bend further over with more comfort and less stretching of the hamstrings.  Maybe as woman, you feel more "open" and therefore vulnerable when spreading your legs.  But c'mon... I think we all know why the command is given, right?

Yes... you want to see the naughty fun parts.

wide stance and tip toes!

Actually, even a narrow stance can be plenty sexy too.
Of course, one can hardly talk about a "wide stance" without mentioning Larry Craig.  And since my loyal readers know I like to throw in a little bit of politics, you knew this was coming, right?  Here's a decent recap of the events.  For those of you unfamiliar with this bizarre tale, a sitting U.S. Senator from Idaho ("sitting" maybe the key word here, come to think of it) was arrested in an airport restroom for soliciting sex with an undercover police officer.  Apparently this restroom was known for such things.(?!)  He did so while sitting on the commode by placing his foot underneath the adjacent stall and tapping his foot.  When arrested, he gave the officer his U.S. Senate business card and apparently said something about when he pooped he used a wide stance.  
(As an aside- in researching this post I came across this hilarious but informative article on the best posture to use when taking a poop. I'll try to refrain from referencing it on a post about the command to bend over.)  
Back to the disgraced Senator Craig... the scandal made "Wide Stance" enter the American lexicon and not just in an urban dictionary sort of way.  So now you know all about that.

So speaking of men with wide stances... (awesome segue, I know) for the benefit of my F/M and female readers who just like a good visual, and to make up for the coochie shots above... I thought that since I'm an equal opportunity embracer of nudity it only made sense to re-post a wide-stanced pic of me in a bathroom that I posted way back when only about six people read my blog.  Rest assured though, there was just myself and a lovely lady there- no undercover cops.  Enjoy.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

4/20, drugs, politics, and spankings

Today is April 20th, otherwise known as 4/20, otherwise known as the day potsmokers celebrate the fact that they're, well... potsmokers.  I have nothing against potsmokers, really.  But I think the spanking public is probably a true cross-section of society, and I thought it was worth mentioning within our realm.

We have a bunch of old-fashioned housewives led by a strong head-of-the-household, many, if not most of whom, are very conservative.  On the other hand, there are also plenty of folks that are open-minded and embracing of others, not to mention the fact that being a spanko a spanking enthusiast almost requires that one be open and embracing to other lifestyles.  On the other hand, spanking definitely appeals to some that are very traditional.  Domestic Discipline folks are some of the most conservative folks around, and there's unaddressed friction between them and the more open lifestyle choices of those that are into spankings and attend parties, etc... and maybe not enough respect between the two groups.

Because those that are into spanking are such a cross-section of society, it makes political discussions all the more interesting.  I have high hopes that the upcoming presidential election will be about ideas, and which ideas would be better for the country, rather than about the personalities of the candidates.  They both have similar character issues

Embarrassing dog story
Embarrassing story about how their grandfather was a polygamist
Religious views outside mainstream American views
Out of touch with Americans because they’re among the 1%

So my hope is that this will be a high-minded campaign about problems, issues, solutions, and plans.  Neither flawed candidate can attack the other too vigorously on personal matters.  However, neither candidate has taken a public stance on marijuana, to my knowledge, which brings me back to the point of this post.

Once upon a time, I smoked pot.  I inhaled, and I liked it.  In fact, the 1st time I did so was after some awards ceremony in high school.  I had just given this guy $5 and was trying to tuck the baggie into the pocket of my khakis when my name was called.  So I went up on stage to accept the award hoping and praying that the baggie of pot was tucked all the way into my pocket.  I later smoked it with my friends, and it was a good time.  But... I won the award because I was a big dork and was smart.  In part because I was a big dork and I was smart I agreed to be on our high school's team of smart guys that appeared on the local television station competing with supposedly smart guys from other high schools on a College Bowl type trivia contest for our local TV station. (the same one that I've made fun of before.)  Funny thing though... I could tell when I'd smoked pot the weekend before we taped the show on Monday nights.  I knew that I knew the answer, but I couldn't come up with it.  Smoking pot had made me stupider. (and I think that's a real word.)  Mostly as a result of that realization, I didn't smoke pot in college.  (Maybe I'm weird.)  Recently, I went to a wedding out of town where the mother of one of the groomsmen was in advanced stages of cancer, and asked for some one night at the hotel.  Despite the shock of a few of us, it appeared to help her feel better.  I was also shocked that among single friends my age, there were a fair number who did it and had it with them.

I didn't smoke pot in college, however, I did drink a ton.  Drinking far more socially acceptable, but it is proven to kill brain cells.  In retrospect, and in contemplating my actions in college, I'd probably prefer that if today's college students were consuming mind-altering drugs... that they did so sitting on a couch watching cartoons, eating Cheetos, and thinking "really deep" thoughts as a result of smoking pot, rather than driving to bars and chasing tail and getting in fights as a result of drinking alcohol.

On the other hand, a mind-altering drug called wine has been instrumental in my blogging.  Without drinking a little bit of it, I might not have had the courage to start this blog.  I hear folks talking about how there should be no drinking during play at spanking parties, but I also remember the housewife I met for her 1st spanking that requested that I bring a bottle of Pinot Grigio because she thought it might help her with her nerves, and it did.     

I'd love to hear the thoughts of other folks into spankings about alcohol and/or marijuana as it relates to spanking play.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Problems with spanking social sites

The idea of spanking personal ads has been around for a long time.  ShadowLane had a spanking personals site.  There are a few others with ambitions that have come and gone.  Most forums have a section for personal ads that's hardly ever visited.  However, there are a few sites worth mentioning, though they all have significant problems.

When you type spanko into google, the first entry you get is  It used to be called SIN a/k/a Spanking Internet Network -I think. (And yes, less than a week after a post complaining about the word "spanko" I'm using it in three times in the first two sentences of this paragraph I guess the word serves its purpose). is an all-encompassing site with a forum, and movies, and a great chatroom, and a social network aspect plus personal ads.  You could pay a premium for the ability to watch the movies, but I never did.  I have tons of movies downloaded over the years and just never cared about what they had on there enough to do so.  Never had much luck with their personal ads either, but did make some nice acquaintances, and the chatroom there is probably the best for spanking chat (and has been for a long time).  I liked to be able to chat with someone and be able to look up their profile.  Most people had a profile pic of some sort.  You could click on a link and see who had viewed your profile, which was pretty cool.  It could be a way of "flirting" without sending gay-ass "winks" to each other.

However, all that changed a couple of weeks ago.  Now you have to buy the $19.95/month subscription  in order to have your profile pic shown.  If you don't it looks like this:
 Yup, now it's just the site's logo.  Secret Spanko tip: If you're on one of these sites, it is (or was) possible to submit a profile pic that conveys (conveyed) lots of information without revealing your identity.  I had a snippet of a larger picture that showed me standing and looking away from the camera.  It revealed that I was relatively height/weight proportionate, my race, that I'm clean cut, and probably confirmed a little about my age and height too.

What's worse though, is that now the "who's viewed you" link, which used to show handles, the date they viewed you, and their profile pic if they had one, now shows this...
Yes, you have to become a premium member to see who's viewed you.  Not only that, but thanks to the software upgrade, all your old messages are lost.  Bummer.  I'll be spending a lot less time there.  They still have the popular chatroom, though.

Spankfinder has a completely different problem.  It's a more popular site in terms of number of people, and I truly salute them for what they did.  I had my first real-life spanking encounters as a result of meeting people on there.  But the site is totally free without ads, and can't really support itself.  The software is apparently pretty clunky, and the site is slow.  It doesn't have all the bells and whistles that you might expect for a social networking site  Although it appears that there were 25 new folks that joined last week, from my experience, the site has dwindling numbers, and the owners haven't really updated it in a few years.
However, based on the best I can glean, and not having first-hand knowledge of the situation, the folks behind spankfinder are trying a new model that they are updating and that does have all the bells and whistles.  It's a very reasonable membership fee, after the initial free 30 day trial, I think about $5/month.  I'd be willing to pay that, except... well, there's nobody there.  It would be throwing my money at a good concept, but one which would give me very little chance of succeeding in finding a play partner.  I'd be willing to pay that for a service of joining a site to meet people, but I'm not sure I'm willing to pay that just to invest in the hopes that someday it grows into the service that I'm hoping it might become.
The stats show there are over 1,000 members, with 79 new this month, but that's only about 1/6 of those on the old spankfinder site.  Based on usual odds, I'm guessing that represents about 250 women and 750 men.  Divided among geographic areas, your odds of finding a real life person to spank are pretty slim.  Also, my bet is that most of those are there for the free trial and will quickly disappear.  Unfortunately, I don't know what the answer is.  I'm not sure if it's technically feasible to transfer profiles from the older site to the newer one or something.  Again, I salute the owners for trying, but the result is a little frustrating.  Just thought I'd share- please let me know in the comments about your experience with these spanking personals sites.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

real sorority paddling story shared by a reader

As a follow up to my post on Sorority Paddlings, I thought I'd share a story sent to me by a reader I'll call "SpankDaddy" -I've redacted a few details, but very much appreciate his permission to post it.

"I'm almost 65 years old.  I have been a Spanko all my life.  I went to college in 196_ at _____[a small, mid-Atlantic University]  I met a girl named L___ in my freshman year.  L___was a sophomore and she pledged a sorority.  The reason she dated me was because we went to the same high school but she was a year ahead of me.  Every Friday night the sorority held a group meeting.  The girls weren't allowed to go out until the meeting was over.  We didn't have cell phones back then, they hadn't been invented yet.  I would wait outside the sorority house until the meeting was over, and go on a date with L___.  Most of the time she was out of the meeting by 8pm.  One night she didn't get out until 9pm.  I asked her what happened and she said," They went crazy tonight.  I'm sure my ass is bruised.  They paddled and paddled us until we all collapsed.  I thought I was going to pass out."

"They paddle you," I asked.

"Ya we get the board every Friday night.  Most of the time it's 5 or 6 swats.  It's hurts, but it's no big deal.  Tonight is called 3rd Friday.  I lost count but I'm sure I got the paddle about 25 times.  Every 3rd Friday we can look forward to having our asses busted until pledge period is over.  That means I have 2 more 3rd Fridays to go through this.  _____[SpankDaddy] it was really, really, bad.  I can hardly sit down."

Being a spanko, I had an instant erection after hearing this.  We hadn't had sex or anything close to sex in the few weeks we had been dating.  We did some kissing, but that was it.  Remember it was in the 1960's and sex wasn't as easy to have as it is today.  I got close to L____ and put my arm around her and kissed her.  She could tell by the tent in my pants that I was turned on.  I said, "Let me see if you are bruised.  We can put some ice on it or something."

I was shocked when L___ said, "OK."

She turned around and pulled up her skirt and slowly lowered her panties.  Girls didn't have bikini panties or thongs back then.  Her ass was very red and black and blue in places.  We went to a place called ___'s and I got a large cup of ice.  I put the ice in a hankie-chief and held it against her butt.  She said it felt good.  I did that for almost an hour.  Afterward we had a great make out session and she even rubbed my cock in my pants until I shot my load in my underwear.  I was even able to get my hand in her panties and finger her pussy.  This was fantastic sex back then.  

The next two 3rd Fridays it was the same thing.  She would meet me with her ass on fire and bruised.  I would comfort her and we would make out and she even gave me a hand job with my dick out.  I would finger fuck her and I even got to suck her tits.  We never had intercourse and I never got a blowjob.  Thing were just different back then.   

I dropped out of school the following year and enlisted in the Army and went to Viet Nam.  I never saw L___ again.

She only got paddled on Friday nights.  She only got it really hard on the 3rd Friday of the month.  She wasn't paddled bare.  They paddled over panties.  I wonder till today if L___ was a Spanko.

You can post this story if you want to.  I swear it's 100% true."

Friday, April 13, 2012

A confession... I can't stand spanking jargon

I'm not quite sure why.  I mean, "Spanko" is about the most spanking jargon word there is, right?  And I use it quite a bit.  Jargon is used because it's understood and conveys meaning quickly to those who are familiar with the subject.  I get it.  But it also annoys me for some reason.  Maybe I think it's just kind of cheesy to use words like this.  Actually I struggled with the name of the blog because I don't like the word Spanko.  I thought about:
  • I'm secretly into Spanking 
  • Secretly into Spankings 
  • Secret Spankophile
  • My Spanking Secret(s)
  • Secretly, I'm into Spanking-Are you?
  • Do you Secretly Like Spankings?
  • I'm a Secret Spankophile
  • I'm a Secret Spanko

I even have the drafts to prove it.  But I finally settled on SecretSpanko because I thought it was sort of catchy.  Still, I'm not all that wild about the word "Spanko" -it's a made up word, and sort of grates on my nerves, but I guess it fulfills a purpose and there's not another word that is a synonym except maybe "spankophile" and that's even more made up sounding than Spanko.

Topping/bottoming - among gay men, this equates to the anal sex penetrator and anal sex recipient of the penetration.  I much prefer spanker/spankee.  Not every spanker/spankee relationship is also a dom/sub relationship, but neither spanker nor spankee are not listed on fetlife as options.  

Switch/Switching- ideally, this is a small branch of, say, a weeping willow tree that's cut and denuded of leaves before being used to spank a bottom and/or thighs.  It has come to also mean one who both spanks and gets spanked.  Acknowledging that it is a widely-used label, I've said in the past that people who are into spankings should embrace the "switch" label, and wear it as a badge of honor that they can take what they're dishing out, and I whole-heartedly meant it.  However, I don't really like this label, because I think it implies that one can just, well, "switch" roles and is fine with either.  Personally, I'm a spanker that can, on occasion, appreciate and even desire to be spanked; but what I get out of being a spanker and what I get out of taking a spanking are so entirely different that I hate to say I can "switch" roles easily.  Still, I can see that like "spanko" there's not another synonym and it's understandable how the term came into use, despite the fact that it annoys me.  On a related note...

"Topping from the bottom" - Every spanking relationship, even almost every encounter is different.  Different personalities, desires, etc... to attempt to water this down and belittle the discussion that precedes it and the way the scene plays out with this term annoys me too.  

OTK pronounced "oh-tee-kay" -fingernails on chalkboard material.  It's an abbreviation for over-the-knee that's useful for chatting, but not a real word to be used in a sentence- please! "Bent over my lap with her ass in the air" sounds so much more exciting!

Diaper position - Maybe it's the dad in me- this makes me think of poop and wipies.  It's not nearly as sexy as "laying on her back holding her legs up so that her sex was entirely exposed while I could spank her lower bottom and thighs, all while watching the delicious ouchy faces she made as I was doing that." But I guess that's the definition of jargon- it conveys the same information in a lot less space.  
Greek (especially used as a verb!) Okay so maybe this is not technically Spanking jargon, but it's a term that I think is funny.  Once upon a time I was talking to a lady that said something along the lines of, "His main interest was not in spanking me.  He loved my bottom, but he just wanted to greek me."  Apparently, "greek" is a euphemism for anal sex, derived from Aristotle and the boys in Athens that had an affinity for well, the boys in Athens.  
Just don't tell that to George Snufflupagous or whatever his name is- you know the guy on TV n the mornings!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Sorority Paddlings

A short while ago, I posted about my old fraternity paddle.  Here are some pics of my wife's old sorority paddle, kept in the same closet as my fraternity paddle with the same we've-outgrown-these-and-not-going-to-display-them-but-can't-quite-get-rid-of-them mentality.
The business end
Here's the paddling side- It would actually be a far better paddle then mine for it's intended use, although as I've said, mine was actually used for such a purpose.  Once (actually every time we've moved, so three times now) I've given my wife a playful lick with it.  However, it was never used for its primary purpose during her sorority days.  Instead, it was painted all cutesy.  Here's pic of it as it was intended, although I've blurred her name and that of her "big sis."
But I didn't blur everything... that's right folks... Delta Delta Delta, can I help ya, help ya, help ya?

Alas, I never talked to any girl in college that was in a national sorority that paddled their pledges.  My wife was never paddled with it except playfully, by me, and long after her sorority days were over.  I did talk to one lady in grad school (funny how these things come up) and her local sorority at a small school used a paddle on their pledges regularly.  .

Other sorority paddling nuggets:
  • A sorority paddle played a significant role in my 1st work of fiction I published on the blog.  And it will in the sequel as well, if I ever get around to finishing it. 
  • Rollin Hand has just completed a very nice 10 part story primarily about sorority paddlings.  Check it out from the beginning here.
  • On my retro spanking story sites post, I included a link to a site that had a few really good sorority spanking stories here, here, and here.  Again, if "Solstice" is reading this, thank you.  Loved those.
  • Finally, a tip of the hat to for these real life sorority paddling pics... (captions mine.)

notice the painted front but bare wood business end.

This is gonna hurt sweetie.

Hold her tight.



Nice cleavage, Miss Emcee/pledge trainer!

Is that a purse?

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Rolling up your sleeves

Not sure why this is sexy, but I think it is.  I thoroughly enjoy it, and love making her watch me do it as she's standing in front of me with her pants and panties around her knees, just waiting.    Here's a picture of my cuff tonight.
This pic makes my thumb look gargantuan, but it's the angle.
But, why roll it up? I mean, does your cuff really get in the way?  No.  I'm right-handed, so my watch is not a problem.  Maybe it's part of the ritual.  Maybe it's the male equivalent of a burlesque strip tease for female spankees.  Even if so, that still doesn't explain why I enjoy it.

I actually tried to take a picture of me rolling up my sleeve but it didn't work out so well- need three hands to do that.  So I stole a pic from Poppy's blog to show what it would have looked like.
Well, maybe what it would have looked like if I were tan and wearing more of a soft workman's shirt instead of a stiff blue dress shirt- but hey, at least by this time of night I've changed into jeans, right?  I'll admit, even if you can't make it out in that 1st picture, my hands are soft and not calloused.  I sit on my butt in an office and mostly use my hands for typing.  This is more what it looks like when I'm meeting a lady for a lunchtime spanking rendezvous. (minus the dated tie.)
Enjoy, ladies.

Maybe I'm not a true spanko -turning down a request to be spanked

This is not one of those goofy posts where I insert a bunch of hot pictures.  This is actually a serious question.  At times I've thought it was hopeless searching for real life play partners, and despaired that I should give it up. Now is not one of those times.  For whatever reason, I've had a few invitations lately.  Maybe my (effectively) turning this lady down had something to do with that, but I'd like to think not.  I'd like to think that I'd have had the same reaction even in the midst of a "spanking drought" and honestly, I think --despite my many character flaws-- that I would have.  I hope so, at least.

Recently I began talking to someone who craved a disciplinarian to deal with her problems.  She had many real and serious issues.  She'd had a string of disciplinarians, the last of whom had ditched her, and she was desperately looking for a new one.  She claimed that she needed discipline in her life, and from hearing her story, she did.  Before meeting her, I told her I wanted her to write an essay on what issues she felt she needed to address.  She did, and I read it. (Several times, as a matter of fact.)

My response to her was that although we might someday enjoy some spanking play, everything I read, and knowing her history... I felt that a spanking disciplinarian was the last thing she needed.  She'd had several of those, and they hadn't done her much (if any) good.  She was still dealing with the same issues.  I told her that if she really wanted to address those issues, she should take some personal responsibility.  

Maybe that was an excuse on my part.  I wrote her a whole list of psycho-babble excuses....That a spanking disciplinarian wouldn't and couldn't be there every time she went to a convenience store, and that even though I'm no psychologist, I felt like she was shifting responsibility for her own actions onto her disciplinarian rather than taking responsibility for herself and her own actions.  Further, that the golden rule didn't work unless you have the self esteem to love yourself first, and that played into the whole making smart decisions about yourself, and making smart decisions about yourself is independent from whether or not you get your bottom spanked.  If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over-and-over again hoping for a different result, and she's seen multiple disciplinarians but still struggling with the same issues... maybe that's not the way to go in terms of addressing those issues.

I freely admit that on rare occasions I've spanked my children.  Despite the "Love and Logic" seminars, I really think that spanking is sometimes the best way to discipline and teach young kids very important lessons.  I haven't had a problems playing with electrical outlets, going out the front door without telling someone, playing with Daddy's tools in the garage, or even with minding when I count to three after one spanking.  On the other hand, I'm not going to spank kids for hitting each other, and don't think I'd spank them again and again for the same problem.  Along those lines, I'm not sure spanking is a great tool to deal with real adult issues, especially when spanking has been used in the past in an attempt to deal with it, but to no long-term effect.

Bottom line- I declined to spank someone that was asking for it for very real reasons.  I'm far more comfortable spanking a surreptitiously kinky housewife that's had a secret, but unfulfilled interest in spanking than in being subject to a true disciplinarian.  Maybe I'm not a true spanko, or maybe I'm just not comfortable wearing the mantle and accepting the responsibility of acting as a true disciplinarian.  I struggled with it, and still think I made the right call, but I'm new enough to this that I'm willing to listen if folks think that I didn't.  Just thought I'd share.I'd love to hear some feedback.