Tuesday, May 8, 2012

mowing the lawn, and pubic hair

Lawn mowing is on my mind tonight.  I'll try to eventually relate it back to spanking, somehow.  It'd rained recently, and our lawn mowing guy did not show up late last week, or this weekend.  I sent him a not-so-nice text today, and he swore he would get it done today.  I got home about 6:30, and he had not been there.  I sent another text, even less nice.  He replied that he was on his way, and explained that he had been called in today, and was trying to get to houses as soon as he got off.  He's trying to get a "real job" and is temporary/a substitute at this point.  He's been with us for awhile, and the last thing I want to do is get rid of him because for the 1st time he's a little unreliable because he's trying to attain a better job.  I hope he gets it.  There are other lawn guys, and I can replace him easily, but I don't want to until he doesn't need us, and he's not yet at that point.  It was uncomfortable though.  We're finally sitting down for dinner, and the lawn is being mowed, and I know that he's doing it after working a full day at another job.  I was feeling extremely guilty about those texts, and offered him dinner, which he declined.

I feel like a bit of a chump because I don't mow my own lawn, if I'm being honest.  I actually enjoy(ed) mowing the lawn.  It's one of the few completely mindless activities where one is still active enough that their blood is pumping and I used to love the activity on the weekend where I could do that and my mind plan out the next week or think about something at work in an uninterrupted span of an hour or two.  I truly miss it.  But if someone is going to mow my lawn for me, I'd prefer it be done when I'm not at home and don't have to think about it.  Maybe it's because I feel sorry for him, but I think a part of it is because I feel less manly because I no longer mow my own lawn.    

Once upon a time, in high school, I had my own lawn-mowing business with my friend.  I look back on those times quite fondly.  With a little bit of spark, we quickly carved ourselves a niche and had almost more business than we could handle.  We were certainly doing better than most high schoolers relying on their parents for money or working at a grocery store/fast food place, and whenever it rained... video game day!
And there was that one housewife... I still remember the street name.  She was hot.  And she didn't wear a bra when she offered us a water.  Somehow we decided that it was really hot whenever it came time to mow her lawn and mosquitoes be damned- we took our shirts off.  (Nothing ever came of it, but this was probably the beginning of my older women fantasies!)
This is what I thought I looked like
this was probably closer to reality

I've sometimes wondered what life would have been like had we chosen not to go to school and just focused on our lawn business.  We were at the point of hiring other crews to help us service the lawns we acquired, and left everyone in a lurch when it was time to say, "See ya'... off to college we go!"  (Note to the ladies... if you want to see more, keep reading all the way until the end- a little treat for you)

Speaking of mowing the lawn... "If there's grass on the field, play ball!" -that's kind of a sick justification, but the best segue I could come up with... Anyway, I had an interesting conversation about pubic hair the other day with a fellow spanking blogger.  I'm a fan of pubic hair. I think it stems from the 1st sexual images I saw as a teen, back when Playboy models showed plenty of pubic hair.  But even today, despite the fashion for bare beavers, I still prefer hair down there.   I think there's more to it than just a preference based on the erotic images I saw during my emerging sexuality, though.  There's got to be a reason, whether you believe that's how God made us or whether through millions of years of evolution, for some reason mankind has hair down there (and our armpits) even though those are the two places that most mammals don't.  Go ahead- look at your dog or cat... hair all over, except for their armpits and groin.

So why do we have pubic hair?  I have a theory.  I read once that man is the only animal that has sex in the missionary position.  When you're in the missionary position, facing your partner, fully inserted and grinding crotch-to-crotch... pubic hair rubs together and acts as a dry lubricant.  Any Dad that's helped his son in the Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby knows that you add graphite to the axles.  You might also have experienced an "Indian rope burn" where the skin-to-skin friction can be uncomfortable.  Pubic hair alleviates that, and that's why we have it.  From my (ahem) very limited exposure to pornos- some hot chick doing a reverse cowgirl... no such need for pubic hair, and maybe that's why they don't have any.  But for good ole' fashioned lovin' it serves a purpose.  (maybe even for laying across a thigh getting a spanking too.)  I do know that when a woman is standing with her pants and panties pulled down, it certainly draws your attention right there.  So, in honor of my post about lawn-mowing and discussion about pubic hair... some pictures are in order, right? 
How'd I miss this one for that post on tan lines?!







See there, ladies, I promised a treat for you at the end.  It's amazing what you find on google image search when you're looking for an illustration for sexy lawn mower.  Dude, is that some hot housewife or.... wait, is that your mom in the doorway? Sick! 

7 comments:

  1. As a woman, I like to see pubic hair on a man. But please do a little manscaping... as much as I appreciate oral hygiene, I don't appreciate flossing!

    SC

    ReplyDelete
  2. The last picture is priceless. And seriously who is that in the doorway? Thanks. I can smell the new mown grass. I like mowing the lawn and I do some other trimming but not too extreme.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Spankcake- flossing no, but just enough to tickle your nose!

    Emen- glad you liked that- I thought it was too funny not to share.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Only you could segue from lawn moving to genital landscaping! LOL!

    I'm middle of the road on this. I don't like the big bushes from old-school porn days. But I don't like the shaved look, either. I just can't get past the idea that prepubescent girls are hairless down there.

    How about mostly shaved with a small thatch left, neatly trimmed? Fair compromise?

    ReplyDelete
  5. A small thatch left, neatly trimmed... I guess that will do, Erica!

    ReplyDelete
  6. What kind of naughty blogger would be discussing pubic hair with you, lol?!

    Great post!

    Love,
    Kitty

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hmmm... my lips are sealed to protect the naughty!

    ReplyDelete