Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Dimples of Venus

Whether you call them back dimples, butt dimples, or the term I prefer- "Dimples of Venus" I love them.  I'm not talking about these dimples:
Although they're plenty cute too!

I know that guys can have dimples too, but not referring to them either.
Sorry, ladies, I don't look like him
but I do sorta talk like him!

No. I'm referring to dimples on one's bottom.  But not just any dimples.  I'm especially not referring to these type of bottom dimples:

 If you're confused as to what I'm referring to, here's the Wikipedia definition: 
"The dimples of Venus (also known as back dimples, or butt dimples) are sagittally symmetrical indentations sometimes visible on the human lower back, just superior to the gluteal cleft. They are directly superficial to the two sacroiliac joints, the sites where the sacrum attaches to the ilium of the pelvis.
The term "dimples of Venus", while informal, is a historically accepted name within the medical profession for the superficial topography of the sacroiliac joints. The Latin name is fossae lumbales laterales ("lateral lumbar indentations"). These indentations are created by a short ligament stretching between the posterior superior iliac spine and the skin. They are thought to be genetic."
Not everyone has them.  Fair enough- there are plenty of super hot ladies that don't have them.  Here are some examples of that:

Yes, those are some very fine bare bottoms, and some beautiful ladies.  Nothing against them.  A lady can obviously be super hot without the Dimples of Venus.  But for some reason, I still like them.  It seems like a lot of the spanking models/bloggers I adore have them. (Taken from their blogs unless otherwise copyrighted)
Erica has them
Amelia Jane Rutherford has them
Pandora has them
Alex has them
And a special tip of the hat to Alex.  It was actually a picture of hers published on fetlife, followed by a comment from Pandora about her having "back dimples" too that inspired this post.  And I figured I'd share some more random Dimples of Venus pics I found with a quick google search, just for your enjoyment.

Last but certainly not least!


note to my readers, and then let's talk about switching some more...

My dear friend Erica recently posted something on her blog about how one doesn't need to switch to be a better spanker or spankee. (okay maybe it wasn't all that recent but I've been bad about updating since the TASSP- kind of hard to top that in my spanking journey so far.)  In that post, she quoted me (quoting some one else) as saying that male tops who had never seen whether they could take a spanking were, well...pussies.  I commented on that post, but had some more thoughts on switching that I wanted to share.

Before I begin though, I want to reiterate a very good point Erica made.  What I say on my blog- it's just my opinion.  I'm no expert.  What I say is based on my somewhat limited experience in exploring this spanking fetish.  Erica has been around and actively participating in both the industry aspects and the scene for far longer than I have, and her words carry a lot of weight.  I've joked with her before about how she has "gravitas" within the spanking community.  And she's purposely said, basically, "Hey, this is just my opinion." take it for what it is.  I want to do the same.  I have no delusions of grandeur, and might risk making the few industry insiders and experienced players who read my blog laughing at me when I say this, but... I know my words carry some weight too.  And so I want to be careful.  I'm blessed with a few loyal commentators, and there are probably several bloggers who check out what I have to say, but the numbers don't lie- (except for those generated by weird sites linking to this from Russia!) most of the people reading this are probably other secret spankos.  Maybe you've been fascinated with spanking all your life and have done nothing more than consume spanking writings and erotica or movies.  Maybe you've ventured out and met a couple of people but were scared to death, or it wasn't a great experience, and you're wondering if you should continue.  To those folks, I'd say yes!  But again, this is just my opinion, and I'm no different than you. Except that, well... I'm the dumbass who decided to start a blog about being a secret spanko.  

Now with that out of the way, let's turn toward my thoughts on switching.  

I'd say, at this point, I'm 90% top.  Minus ten points because I'm not comfortable with strictly disciplinary spankings to correct behavioral problems that I think are a matter of personal responsibility, and minus 10% because on occasion, I actually got something out of being a bottom. As long as it's with the right person, it can be like a relaxing massage coupled with a painful adrenaline-inducing roller coaster ride all in one.  But it's just not me.  I've fantasized virtually my whole life about spanking women, not getting spanked by them.  I don't do well with authority, and well... spanking women turns me on.  That's not the case when I'm on the receiving end.
but this is probably not happening anytime soon
One doesn't NEED to have switched to be a good spanker, but I think it can only help.  At least I know it has helped me.  Erica mentioned someone else's quote about how a great surgeon doesn't need to have undergone multiple surgeries to be a good surgeon. And even acknowledging that every analogy can be picked apart... with all due respect, that's a terrible analogy.  One's asleep during surgery.  But I can guarantee one's not asleep going to get a spanking.  Perhaps a more apt analogy is this-  a surgeon doesn't need to have gone through multiple surgeries to be a better surgeon, but if they'd endured a couple of hospital stays complete with gown and tubes and catheters and wires and hospital food and insurance headaches and "I need y'all y'all to leave the room, it time for his shot." well, maybe he wouldn't suddenly become a better surgeon, but it might help with his empathy and bedside manner regarding what his patients are going through.

In the same way, there's more to a spanking than testing how an implement feels on your bottom. The nervous/scared car ride there, the surrendering of control, the allowing someone else to take down your pants and underwear, not to mention afterwards, when feelings get complicated.  I think it helps to have experienced it.  But that's not to discount the, uhm impact it has to know what implements feel like, what they're going through, and know that you can take what you dish out.  

Personally, I picked up some great techniques from a terrific spanker too.  No part of me regrets switching.  I'm glad I did it.  I'm proud I did it, and not ashamed to admit it.  I love Pandora's ideas for kinky merit badges and wish there was a kinky merit badge for a top switching.

But I think some people are ashamed of it, or just afraid to admit it.  I've been spanked by and then spanked two ladies who made me promise that I wouldn't reveal that I've spanked them.  (And for those that pay close attention to my blog, I realize that the only ladies I've referenced as spanking me are Dana Kane and Pandora. I'm not referring to them.  There's a reason I don't kiss and tell about my spanking adventures on my blog.)  I've also heard from more than on professional spanker that many tops have come to see them in the past and then sworn them to secrecy when they met at spanking parties in the future.  They don't want to admit that they've switched.  I really don't get this, and it annoys me.  Actually, I do get it, but I wish particularly that male tops would overcome it.  They think it's not manly to have submitted to a woman spanking them.  Fine.  You continue to think that.  Honestly, that's part of the reason why I quoted my friend about how male tops that hadn't experienced it are pussies- part of me wants to challenge that thinking.  

I think denying that you've switched is sort of similar to homophobia.  (delving into really controversial stuff now!) Look, I'm comfortable admitting that some guy is good looking.  Doesn't mean I'm gay.  It means I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality and masculinity to admit it.  It annoys me when people deny that they've switched.  It doesn't mean that you're less  dominant- in fact, it means that you're comfortable enough with yourself, and confident enough with yourself to admit that you've had experiences that likely made you a better top.  That's not so difficult to comprehend, right? 

Finally, a special thanks to another secret spanko fan who reached out to me.  You motivated me to (finally) blog again.  But after this deep discussion, this post needs some more hot switching pics, so here you go...


next 3 courtesy

courtesy domestic discipline digest

Monday, June 18, 2012

TASSP 2012 party report

I used to love reading these party reports back when I couldn't imagine actually going to one. This is by no means a full party report, because I only went for part of the 1st day.  I basically played hooky from work on Friday and went there, but I wasn't there for the actual party part.  Still, it was one of my most interesting days ever, and one I'll always remember.  Here are some memories I thought I'd share, and hope y'all enjoy...

I got to the hotel a little early. (never know with traffic- sometimes it can be a pain in the ass- and I'm usually really early to appointments - it's just a personality quirk of mine).  But I'd read and re-read where I was supposed to go, and something else was there in the ballroom where the 1st event was supposed to be, and I couldn't find any signs pointing to Paul's room for the registration.  I thought I recognized someone but didn't want to stare... so there I was wandering around the lobby of a nice hotel carrying a little leather portfolio/legal pad (a/k/a security blanket) so I thought I'd look like I had something to do there, but having serious doubts... when all of a sudden coming up the stairs was a 6' tall blonde goddess that I instantly recognized.  The heavens opened up, light shone down upon her, and the angels sang- just like in a movie or something. With a sigh of relief, I knew I was in the right place.
kinda like this -courtesy her blog
Okay so maybe she had no makeup on and was sipping from a to-go coffee cup from breakfast, but it was kind of like that.  I went up to Amelia Jane Rutherford and mumbled/stuttered that I was a fan and wasn't sure where to go to register.  Pandora Blake was right behind her, and I was grateful for that, as we'd corresponded prior to her coming here.  They were both exceedingly nice in person, and led me to where I was supposed to go for registration.

Registration was in Paul's suite, and was a little awkward, because there was Sarah Gregory blow drying her hair getting ready for the day, and Paul running around with his shirt off trying to get ready and manage things while also getting ready for the day, but there was also this line of party attendees waiting to register.  I felt like I was intruding.  There was a table though piled high with literally hundreds of spanking implements, and I regret that I didn't get a picture of that.

I was grateful when Amelia had me help her set up furniture for the demonstrations scheduled for the day.  There had been a mix-up, and the demonstrations were going to be in a sort of boardroom rather than a ballroom.  Another little anecdote about how sweet Amelia was in person- at one point we were talking about cowboy boots, and she pointed out mine and how she was amazed that people wore them with "smart clothes" and how she wanted to get a pair while she was here, but didn't want to spend a fortune on them.  There was a younger guy, apparently a little shy, listening to our conversation, and he looked up on his iphone  the name and address of a famous boot shop, and jotted it down on a pad of paper and handed it to her.  My first inclination was to tell her "no, don't go there- you'll pay way too much- it's a tourist trap!" but I didn't want to hurt this guy's feelings.  I could see him blush just handing her the slip of paper and saying "here." but she was very appreciative and thanked him for being sweet enough to help her out.  I figured I'd tell her later, but never got a chance.

So there were demonstrations- the first was Pandora who appeared naked to demonstrate how to do erotic spankings.  It was nice, but the small room was getting crowded, and I tried to stay toward the back, which meant that soon I was crowded into the back kitchenette type area surrounded by well... guys watching naked women.  I thought it was a little creepy, frankly, plus I had on a sportscoat and was getting hot (but not in a good way.)  

The next demonstration was Dana Specht showing how to give a good lecture, and she did so with Sarah Gregory first.  Those two obviously have great chemistry, and know each other well.   I've written a review of Sarah Gregory's website, and that scene was just as good as the many on there with the two of them.  After that though, Dana asked for volunteers, and no one volunteered. (Dana I guess is kind of intimidating!) After a couple of moments of silence with no one volunteering, Amelia did.  As far as I know, Amelia and Dana Specht have never filmed a scene together.  But the two of them were absolutely great together.  That was probably one of my all time favorite scenes, and I sure wish I had it on film to watch again and again.  I don't say that lightly.  I have a bajillion spanking clips saved on my hard drive, and that would be in the small group of my favorites.  Their chemistry was great.  Amelia had the audience in stitches, and Dana delivered a spanking that was probably far more intense than Amelia had been expecting.  

Still though, it was so far very different from what I was expecting.  It was basically like the difference in seeing a movie and a play.  There's something to be said for live action witnessed in person, but I didn't have much interaction with the other spanking party attendees- other than a smile or two across the room, or whispered conversations with the guys standing around me.  

But that was soon to change... I'd been talking to Pandora in the last few months about getting together and her teaching me how to use the cane.  I'm quite a fan of hers.  And after the Amelia/Dana Specht scene we did.  As a Secret Spanko, in some ways the cane is the most useless implement. A hairbrush, a ruler, and old belt- you can explain away those being in your messy trunk.  But a cane? -that only serves one purpose... but in my mind, at least, it's still sort of the ultimate spanking implement.  So even if I couldn't use it any time soon, I wanted to learn how- and from one of the ultimate English gals with tons of experience with it.  And I did.  I've agreed not to reveal or show pics of the demonstration/training bottom, but I both gave and received during her training.  By the end, she said I was certified to give a caning and even a natural.  Here's a pic of my ass she took after receiving quite a warm up and then six of her best.
After that, I wandered the halls a bit and went out to my car to return some phone calls and get some fresh air.  Wandering the halls was pretty interesting.  About every third room you'd hear the sound of spanking.  I think it would have been far more relaxing had I actually had my own room there, as most party participants did.  But I was looking forward to meeting Ten Amourette, and was perplexed and frankly a bit irritated that I hadn't seen her yet.  We'd corresponded beforehand, and let's just say I was a big fan of her work.  Well,  that afternoon, we did meet, and even in spite of missing the demonstrations that were still going on, we had a lot of fun on our own.  I met her boyfriend, and Alex, very briefly, but we had agreed to play and play we did.  Chemistry is a weird thing, but I felt like we sure had it, and it was maybe one of the most fun play sessions I've ever experienced.  Her butt was amazing, and seemingly unmarkable, even though I know it hurt.  Here's a pic about midway through... notice both my boots in the background (upper left corner) and her amazing constantly hard nipples peeking out. (and yes, a wide stance just because she knew I liked it!)
What else can I say about Ten?  She's fun.  She's sharp.  How about... Even though every other word is "fuck" and "shit" and maybe she drinks too much and is a little rough around the edges, she has a heart of gold?  How about... Maybe I have a little crush on her?  

After we played, we were both hungry and went downstairs to grab a bite to eat.  She sits down next to a sweet older man that was attending the party.  He's hard of hearing.  I'm thinking that we must be making all the other folks there wonder what the hell's going on.  An older man, a younger man dressed for work, and her in a short skirt.  She's talking loudly so that he can hear about how she's gonna be be spanked because she's worried she'll be late for the schoolgirl party.  A few minutes later as we're waiting on our food she looks at me.

"You're uncomfortable, aren't you? That's right, you're local and don't want to be recognized.  Lemme run get the room key, and let's just get this to go."   

She nailed it.  I hadn't said anything, and was just going to endure it, but she read me like a book.  As she left and we were waiting on our food, the older gentleman spoke loudly about how a few years back someone had been outed for attending this.  The table of little old ladies stared at us.  Yes, I was intensely uncomfortable.  Food finally arrived, we wished the man adios, and scurried back to her room to eat in peace.  As we waited for her boyfriend to arrive with the keg for their party that night we talked even more, and I enjoyed it.  Props to her boyfriend, Dr. Lectr, who seems like a genuinely nice guy.  I wish I could have stayed and partied with them that night.

She wound up going to the school girl party late, and got spanked for it (of course).  The school girl party was again an instance of the audience sitting down and watching professionals spank and be spanked.  It was in the ballroom, but by this time I was about to have to go back home.  So I risked interrupting, and made my way to the front to wave and mouth goodbye to Amelia, Pandora, and Ten before heading out.

It was a great experience.  Don't get me wrong.  But I have a few regrets:
I wish I had had a chance to talk to a few seemingly normal couples that smiled at me but seemed bewildered.  There were a bunch of obvious spanking party veterans with t-shirts with spanking phrases on them, but a few couples that looked like deer-in-the-headlights and I wished I'd been there to reassure them- just never had a chance.  Hopefully that happened with someone else after I was gone.

I meant to talk to Alex but didn't get a chance.

I felt like I didn't get to know many new folks, but again, the 1st day's activities weren't all that conducive.  I did meet "Mike" who I recognized as a top from Firmhand, and a young guy interested in getting into the industry as a bottom, but I felt like I didn't have much of an opportunity to connect with most of the people there, and that there was maybe a bit of an unintended disconnect between the industry folks and the non-industry folks- at least on the 1st day.  

Wish I could have been there longer, and will work on planning to do so next year!  Thanks again to Paul for organizing it!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Daddy Issues

Happy Father's Day.  Yes, I'll post a report from my first spanking party, but writing this ahead of time to be posted on Sunday, because it will be topical.  Sorry- no sexy pics in this post, just a real discussion.  

I've always had issues with the use of the term "Daddy" in spanking play.  It just was kind of weird for me.  Not sure whether it was because it conjured up images of a flawed relationship with my parents or whether it was because I think of spanking as sexual and that leads to implications of incest- which is taboo for a reason- because it's awful... but even if I hate spanko jargon, one bit of spanko jargon particularly fit my thinking about using the term "Daddy" to apply to a top... Squicky.  

I like to think I have a strong stomach and an open mind.  Everyone enjoys their hamburger a little differently, right? What appeals to others may not appeal to me, and what I like may be weird to others, and that's all okay, right?  But for some reason the "Daddy" thing just made me say "Ewww... No. Yuck!"

But I've gradually come around, at least a little bit.  I've had conversations with Kitty about this.  She calls her husband "Daddy" and has posted about it.  It's just natural to her.  I can kind of see that.  My wife and I call each other Mommy and Daddy around the kids. 

"Mommy, didn't I hear you say that they had to finish their chicken before they could have a popsicle?  So then why are you asking me?  Are you hoping for a better answer?  I sure hope that's not what you're doing."

"Mommy's about to go to her meeting with other mommies [a/k/a Bunko] so Daddy's going to give you your bath and make sure you brush your teeth... Aren't you Daddy?!"

You get the picture... It's often convenient to refer to each other that way, and sometimes we use "Mommy" or "Daddy" when speaking to each other if we're trying to invoke traditional roles.

"Daddy, isn't it time to take out the trash?"

"No, I didn't remember that the school musical was on Tuesday night, but that's why I'm so grateful that Mommy keeps a calendar of those things!"

As a slightly related aside- one of the unspoken benefits of children is that it does away with any and all awkwardness as to how to address the in-laws.  When I met her dad, he was Mr. Jones.  When we married, he said it was okay to finally call him Bill or Dad.  But that felt weird either way, and I was in the habit of calling him Mr. Jones anyway.  Suddenly, with the advent of kids, it was okay to call him "Pappa" just as our kids did.

Anyway- back to spanking and "Daddy"... So after those conversations with Kitty, I could sort of understand, though I still felt it was a little weird.  My wife and I don't call each other "Mommy" and Daddy" when we're doing it vanilla style, but I guess I could kind of understand.  Still, I felt ageplay was, well... weird, and certainly not my thing.

But the last lady I spanked- and it was a great spanking play session- finally changed that.  As we were decompressing, debriefing, and rehashing, she said she almost called me "daddy" at one point and asked if that would have freaked me out.  

"Yes." I responded honestly.  

That was clearly the wrong answer judging by her face, but it led to a discussions of how she lost her father at a young age, admittedly had "Daddy issues" and that it wasn't an incestuous thing because she just didn't ever have a Daddy or a strong male in her life growing up and that was something that probably led her into the whole spanking thing.  Then she sort of lectured me on how I shouldn't judge those into ageplay.  My heart melted and at the end I wanted to take back the spanking and just hold her.  I got it.    

Not everyone likes their hamburger the same way, but I won't be judgmental toward those who want to call their spanker "Daddy" again.  Just thought I'd share.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Dallas: A Pain in the Ass!

Welcome to Dallas y'all!  I know there are several of you coming here this weekend for the Texas All-State Spanking Party.  If you're flying into DFW airport and encountering construction surrounding it, or trying to negotiate 635, you're no doubt thinking that Dallas is a pain in the ass.  Hopefully, before the weekend is through, the bottoms and switches among you will leave here with another interpretation of Dallas being a pain in the ass!

But for the vast majority of my readers not attending that party, I thought it only appropriate to do something new here and interview a spanking celebrity.  Not only are a lot of spanking folks coming here this weekend, but there was also a reboot of a certain primetime soap opera that back in the 80's changed the mindset of this country such that most people thought of J.R. instead of J.F.K. when it came to a famous person being shot in our city.  Here's an interesting take on the city and the soap opera- and I totally agree that it's an amalgam of the mythology of Houston, Ft. Worth, and Midland but anyway... So I figured it would be appropriate this week to interview, well... Dallas himself.

He likely needs little introduction to many of my readers, but here goes....  He's the owner of and face of DallasSpanksHard.  He was partially the inspiration for my most popular post ever and I've subscribed to his website from time to time for over a decade.  He's known for turning the bottoms of gorgeous ladies bright red, lots of vitamin E, and giving some of the hardest spankings around...

Thank you Dallas for agreeing to take the time to do this interview (via email) -I appreciate it.

Let's start from the very beginning. One of the things I find fascinating is how/why those of us into spanking are, well... so into spanking.  I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that you're into spanking in real life and not just for show on your website.  Can you think of an early memory about it? When did you know you were into spanking?

all images copyright

Firstly, I am currently writing a book about being a spanko since my pre-kindergarten days. I remember distinctly the first spanking I gave, because it was when I was four. Remember those Roman movies that were popular at the very beginning of the sixties? Well, so do I vividly, so vividly in fact it was what caused the cog to move forward and into spanking as something that ended up being a huge part of who I was. That pretty much answers the question as to whether I am really into spanking or not as well.

After seeing the film that night before I asked the neighbor girl from next door if she wanted to play “slave” a word I felt meant a woman tied to a post and whipped. The interesting part is this… although the whipping depicted a woman being whipped on her back; I instead chose the neighbor girl's butt and back of her thighs.  I do remember having to walk next door and knock on the door saying as a giant answered the door (her father) “ I am sorry I spanked you daughter”. Thinking back this was not embarrassing; it was more frightening than anything. When you are four someone six-foot two is a GIANT!

What about taking the next step? When did you decide to embark on this as a profession? Lead us through the thought process of appearing in film and then starting your website.

I was a surfing instructor on Waikiki Beach in the late seventies and early eighties. Although I wasn't spanking on camera… I was giving a lot of spankings. I was a paperboy in our neighborhood (the good, responsible kid) at least that is what the parents thought. I mean, I was responsible don’t get me wrong. I was also spanking their daughters. The whole story is part of my outline for the book.
I worked with my model wife (went by Michelle) for Nu-West in 1983 after writing E.L. [Ed Lee] about the two of us. He was the one who actually called me Dallas because I didn’t have a stage name for my first shoot. It stuck, and because I had a small following already I kept it when I started in 1999.
I was in spanking videos before Shadow Lane existed; Keith Jones was tapped to do films. Jennifer Brooks came into the scene, pretty much back at the inception working for the first American spanking video company  (well except for Irving Klaw that is) Now 94 full length DVD’s later, still here ‘alive and kickin’.

Have you ever had issues with balancing/reconciling your personal life with your professional website and what your fans want to see?

There is crossover anytime you mix a professional in a mainstream business with a disciplinary spanking website. I found that ALL people are not the judgmental boogey men (and women) that the fearful side of your brain allows to conjure up. I have always been open as to who I am and it has been this openness that made everything work. Dating spanking models are never relationships of longevity, nor did I ever expect them to be really. I am now married to a beautiful and brilliant woman who gets me.
I hate using the cliché ‘soul mate’, but that pretty much sums it up.

When I 1st subscribed to your website, many spanking websites just had pictures, and for those with movies, the industry standard was tiny realplayer clips.  Again, I'm going to assume here that currently there's a great deal of technical skill involved as the quality has improved so much, right?

Well, that is a pretty good assumption.  I have always from the beginning of my sites been a ‘hands on’ person in every aspect of the running of the site. Not just the fun stuff, but the everyday side… technical, book keeping, DMCA, customer service, along with the filming, writing, lighting and acting. I would never give my site to a non-spanko to run, build, update etc. We prefer (Sabrina & I) to learn what we need to learn.
For example we shoot in FULL DVD 1080i and have awesome F/HD compressions. This is very much in need of…. how did you say it? “Technical skill” My wife and I compliment each other well and because of this I feel we are producing some of the VERY BEST product available today. I may be biased though.  lol

Aside from increases in technology, your website has evolved too.  There are still the personal A-cute-lady-is-here-to-be-punished scenarios, but you've also included movies with fairly elaborate sets and costumes- from genies to sorority girls to secretaries... which do you enjoy more- the big productions or the more intimate basic scenes?

I like to mix it up. I love being creative and spent just shy of twenty years in the I.A.T.S.E., on locations in Hollywood, working on some of the biggest films ever made. I am ambidextrous so mixing up the right-brained, left-brained actually works out well for me. Sabrina was a big influence to get me heading in this direction. A perfect example was our film ‘The 5th kind’. It was written in fifteen minutes and sprung on Nikki Rouge (Sorority Girl Spanking, I Spank Lucy (incredible performance) Wee Spank ) when a model is officially a ‘smacktress’ ( what I call a spanking model that can actually act) the bar is automatically raised.
Amelia Jane Rutherford is another one that comes to mind…she can do anything!

Aside from advances in technology and broadening your scope of films you make, how else has the industry changed since you started?

The biggest changes are
1)    Over-saturation as more spankos said to themselves “ I can do that!”
2)    Piracy- Which has gotten out of control! If you are stealing out there, this is what is going to happen. Your content is going to dry up. Support the producers in your community. If you like the products… buy them, like you do any other product ok? BTW- we are not millionaires and pay our taxes.
3)    The economy- We all know where that came from now don’t we?
4)    Overall the Internet itself blew up. This turns everyone it seems into a thirsty ‘ I want it all…and I want it now’ Pepsi generation.

To follow up on that, on a scale of "huh?-that's-a-problem?-hadn't-noticed!"  to  "I-may-as-well-pack-it-in-there's-no-way-to-compete-or-win-against-these-guys..."  where do you think the current state of file sharing/password hacking/internet piracy ranks?  has it improved any or is it getting worse?
I don’t do numbers…. how about this? FUCK PIRATES.

Fair enough.  Another aspect of spanking that I'm really curious about is, well- just how many folks are there that are into spanking?  There's a current NYTimes bestseller that involves spanking.  Do you think that there're more people into it than most people might think?  Have you ever been surprised by someone that found out your were into it and asked for a spanking?

It is hard to get excited about the ‘GRAY this…GRAY that” I have lived this life… been there…done that. There are way more people “INTO’ this than anyone will ever fathom. I hear from someone everyday that is ‘coming out’. These are the people that it had taken a good portion of their lives to do.
What I tell people is this to quote ‘Rage Against the Machine’ “FEAR IS YOUR ONLY GOD”.
I have spanked some celebrities sure. When Eliza Dushku asked for a hard lick with a strap while in her ‘Faith’ character wardrobe… it was a special moment for her that she probably will never forget.

Other than anecdotal evidence, it's really hard to know how many folks are into it.  I bet that there are more people secretly into it  and subscribing to sites like yours than are on blogs talking about it or are on spanking personal sites actually trying to meet someone.  If you don't mind me asking, I'm curious- do you know how many people have subscribed to your site since it started?
It isn’t as hard to figure things out when you have Geo-tracked as long as I have, hits from over 100 countries and counting. I have had some crazy subterfuge stories over the times. Some people act almost like double- O spies when it comes to getting their products.

Last question- you've spanked over a hundred girls (I think) for your website- I'm curious if any shoots really stand out in your memory. (I'll just say that from a consumer perspective, the 1st time I saw Amelia Jane Rutherford on your website I was blown away- no idea where you'd found her, but she was gorgeous, had a cute accent, and still remember that innocent-looking but mean little red plastic thing!)
I am glad you brought up Amelia Jane. I saw her a number of years on a completely vanilla modeling site. I don’t approach many models on vanilla sites unless they had some sort of fetish inclinations visible. I for some reason felt that AJR was into spanking. I still today do not know why. She wrote back confessing that she was a full card carrying member of the spanko club. She didn’t work for me first just due to geography. The real spanking I gave her, the tears for real reasons going on in her life completely nude. Now that was something special!
Thank you again for taking the time to do this.  I (and my readers) really appreciate it.  Any upcoming shoots/events you want to plug?
Thanks man, look for our two newest films ‘Marked For Punishment’ starring Joelle Barros and ‘Paddle of Britain’ starring Danielle Hunt.

Thanks again.  Keep up the good work.

p.s. I'm looking forward to meeting Ten tomorrow, and she just happens to be the next update on too!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

My Very 1st Spanking Party

Yup.  I'm going to a spanking party.  Well, sort of... I'm going to the Texas All State Spanking Party -at least, the Friday during the day part of it.  My guess is that most of my readers fall into two camps... A few of you have been to a whole bunch of spanking parties.  Probably most of you have never been to, nor even seriously considered going to one.  For those of you who have never been, well, I'm your guinea pig.  It seems to be a very well organized endeavor, and I've had the fortune of getting to know Paul/tubaman in preparation for it. 

I'm only going during the day Friday because, well, I'm a Secret Spanko and being gone on nights and weekends are a lot harder to explain than "being gone for a meeting across town" during work hours.  I understand that may not be all that usual, but that's how my life is.  So I won't get a real feel for a spanking party, I know.  The schedule shows that Friday will mostly be demonstrations, and I'll miss out on the vendor fair and the ice breaking exercises, ballroom dances, etc... not to mention the real parties on Fri. and Sat. nights.  I don't have much expectation that I'll get to play a whole lot.  My guess is that with a full weekend ahead of them, most party-goers are not looking to play a whole lot on Friday afternoon.  Still, I'm very much looking forward to meeting in real life people I've gotten to know online.  People like Alex and Pandora and Sarah Gregory and Ten Amourette and Amelia Jane Rutherford (I've had bit of a crush on her since the first time I saw her on DallasSpanksHard!)  So I'm excited.  But I'm also a bit nervous.  Seriously.

1) I'm not outgoing.  I've described myself before (not on this blog) as the most outgoing introvert I know, and there's some truth to that.  I can make myself be sociable, and can usually do a decent job of it, but I don't naturally seek out people to meet.  A large spanking party seems like it would be enjoyed most by someone that's naturally outgoing.  I'm not.

2) Okay, so I'm a switch.  I've been spanked, but it's on a very limited basis, and by a very few ladies I trust.  I pursued that initially to make me a better spanker, and know that I could take what I dish out.  Sometimes I enjoy it.  But when I do, I absolutely "top from the bottom" and make no apologies for it.  I have no desire, if I might have a chance to play at a spanking party, to bottom or switch unless I feel like I really know and trust that person.  I frankly don't want to get hit on by female dommes (and there will be several in attendance) looking for a sub.  But still, you have to pick a colored name tag that designates you as a bottom, a switch, or a top.  So I'll pick switch, because I want to be truthful, and because well, I think a top that's never seen whether he can take it is, in the words of an accomplished lady spanker I hold in high regard, well... a pussy.  So there.  But this moral stance may not play well, I guess we'll see.

3) Alpha maleness is relative.  I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin, and rightfully proud of what I've done with my life.  But the guy that mows my lawn and my plumber might could kick my ass.  I can write cute emails and charm my way into meeting these ladies for real life sessions, but in a setting where 1st impressions make all the difference, would a lady care about how successful or charming one is when given the option between me and some guy with strong calloused working hands?  Again, guess we'll see.

4) I'm scheduled to spank Ten Amourette, and really looking forward to it- but she's been known to relish in the injuries her ass deals to hands.  Maybe I should fear getting "assed" by her! (But I bet not.)

5) The meeting your preacher in the liquor store scenario- I'm pretty active in my community.  There wil be a whole lot of people in attendance.  What happens if I know someone there?! Yikes!  But then, they're there too, so maybe neither of us will be able to say anything, right?

6) On the other hand, what if I don't meet anyone I click with and stand around awkwardly by myself a lot? My guess is that a relatively small percentage of folks there actively participate on spanking blogs, and so even with a nametag, most probably will not know anything about me.

All those worries aside - I AM really looking forward to it, and meeting people, and taking one more tentative step toward fulfilling my spanking desires.   I'd love to hear some "my 1st spanking party experiences" or even "why I'm nervous about attending a spanking party" comments.  

Rest assured readers, you'll get a full report of any and all activities- (Well, at least all those that occur on Friday afternoon) and hope y'all are looking forward to those updates as much as I'm looking forward to reporting on some wild and crazy times I had in my brief time there.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Secret Spanko Tip: Facebook

I'm back.  Many thanks, again, to Emen for providing me with posts and all her comment replies while I was away.  Not only did she get chrossed, but there were 4 new folks that joined (aka subscribed) to the blog.  (frankly I think joining blogs is kind of pointless because you receive updates a few days after it's posted, but it's still a little flattering.)  Hope I won't disappoint y'all... I haven't tried the short hot funny spanking vignette form of post that Emen does.  Mostly it's just me talking about stuff, usually with some illustrative pics I found on the internet.

I couldn't think of anything to write about, but mostly wanted to thank Emen and so figured I should post SOMETHING.  I thought I'd get back to my roots and post a Secret Spanko tip.  It's been awhile since I posted one, and for those of you new to the blog, they're just little tips and tricks I've learned over the years and want to share to help other secret spankos as they keep their spanking interests concealed.

I thought several Secret Spanko tips about Facebook might be interesting.  Here's the 1st major tip, and a general rule... Stay away from it!  Spanking and Facebook don't mix!
I didn't get much sun on my recent vacation!

That really is my advice, but that's kind of a boring post, and y'all might be wondering why... besides, if you're like me, a little pushing the edge/living just a wee bit dangerously is part of the excitement.  So... do as I say, and not as I do.  Yes, I have a "naughty" Facebook presence.  But if you want to mix spanking and Facebook as a Secret Spanko, you'd better know what you're doing, and that's why I'm here to help.

Facebook's been in the news a lot recently with their predictably underwhelming initial public offering of stock.  It was predictably underwhelming because Facebook is free, and its sole source of revenue at this point are internet ads.  It's these ads I'll talk about first.

Facebook has really powerful evil wizards, er... uhm, computer scientists and algorithms that tell Facebook a lot about you so that they can display ads you're likely to click and suggest things to keep you on there so you'll be exposed to more ads.  While not as creepy as this guy's experience, I've noticed this myself.  Just in preparation for this post, I checked, and the ads on my real Facebook account are about college football (the teams I'm interested in, at that) and refinancing mortgages.  The ads on my wife's account are for mommy blogs, weight loss, and stay-at-home businesses.  The ads on my "naughty" Facebook account are bikinis and quasi-gambling.  And I'm pretty careful about only logging in to to naughty account when I'm in incognito mode on my browser.  So that's the first thing to watch out for.  Don't look at spanking stuff on the internet while you're logged in to Facebook or you might get some ads that would be hard to explain if your vanilla spouse walked in and you were just doing legitimate normal Facebook stuff.

The ads, though, are the least of your worries.  Those wizards, I mean computer scientists... at Facebook are collecting lots of data on you.  What you like... where you live... who your email contacts are... and this is part of why some people are investing in Facebook and why their stock was so overvalued given their current revenue... because that data is valuable, and the thinking is that Facebook will someday (maybe soon) sell all that data, and that's what justified the stock price.  This is not a conspiracy theorist black helicopter type worry.  Say you've used your email to subscribe to a spanking video site... if your email is in Facebook, and you've used that email to "find friends" then Facebook has your contacts.  Not just those that you add to your contacts, but anyone you've emailed that has a Facebook account.  Facebook still asks me to add the office manager at a former job as my friend.  She's not the friend of any of my Facebook friends... she didn't go to school with me, or live in my hometown... I emailed her about tying up some loose threads a couple of times-  that's it.  Somehow Facebook knows that I know her, and years later is asking me to be her friend.  Kinda spooky.  (Of course, it also tells me that she's using her office email to play on Facebook, which I find amusing!)

Here's where that gets un-amusing and kind of scary...  I once took a pic on my phone of a lovely lady's bottom that I had reddened, and sent it from my phone (which is connected to my real life email) to my "naughty" email address.  (Okay, so I wanted to see it again, is that so wrong?)  Then of course, I deleted the pic from my phone and deleted the email from my sent folder and then again from the trash bin on my real life email-- I'd covered my tracks, right?  Nope.  Guess who showed up on my "you might should be friends with them" list... my real life account and my "naughty" account, and vice versa -yikes!  Not only that, but as I scrolled down on my who-I-should-be-friends-with list on my naughty account, there were all sorts of legitimate friends that I sure would not want to know about "MarkyMarks" or "SecretSpanko" that were one click away from getting a friend request!

So with all that scary stuff, why the Heck would I have a naughty Facebook account? Good question. (By the way, the privacy is locked down, and I only have 2 or 3 friends, so this is NOT an attempt to make more social connections on my "naughty" Facebook account!) Here's why I still have it, and still use it...

Let me backtrack just a bit to discuss how most people were introduced to Facebook... You decided, "okay, I'll see what this is all about," and you quickly got hooked as you reconnected with old high school friends, college friends, whatever.  It was cool for a couple of months.  Then you got tired of seeing updates about someone's kids, or farmville achievements, etc... and you soon realized that there was a reason you were still in touch with the people you were in touch with, and had lost touch with everyone else.  Unless you were into sharing pics of your kids or grand-kids, or were single and bragging about yourself, or (like me) trying to update an organization's Facebook page that no one paid attention to anyway... Facebook got old pretty quick.  In fact, most people forget about it.  Not only that, but they forgot about it before people started to be paranoid about privacy.

As a secret spanko, if you've been chatting and emailing someone, and y'all are considering meeting, my advice is to do your due diligence.  Most spankos are nice normal people, but there are some crazy ones out there, and I've heard horror stories.  There's, and a slew of other websites where you can look up personal data based on the information you have- city, email address, etc... but the treasure trove is searching for someone's email address on Facebook, and finding them, and they have it open to the world.  I'm shocked at how often this happens to me.  I'd say up to 1/3rd of the ladies I've met online have a Facebook account that's searchable, and a good chunk of those have not restricted their information to their friends.  I find tons of pictures of them, their real name, family, tons of information about them.  It certainly helps me make a decision about whether they're someone I want to meet, and can lead to a conversation that must be handled very gently...

After several emails and discussions about meeting...

Me: Listen, Sally Spankee... or should I say, Jane Strotherton... Hope that didn't shock you too much, but you need to know that you've not been very careful.  I think you're really sweet, and I'm risking you thinking I'm a creepy stalker by saying this, but I think your safety is important enough that if I were you I'd want me to mention this... there are a few crazies out there and before I meet someone I like to perform my due diligence on them- in your case I found out your real name and all of what you had on Facebook. I'm just offering some free advice here- I think you should not be using your real email to correspond to folks interested in spanking, and you should change your privacy settings on Facebook.  Like I said, I hope you don't think I'm a creep, but the risk of that is worth me pointing this out because I'm worried about how cavalier you are with your privacy.

Sally Spankee: OMG! you're so right! Holy Crap! You saw all my pics on FB?! So, did you think my pics were cute?

Me: Yes, you were certainly cute, and I enjoyed getting to know you a lot more about you.  But that wasn't really the point.  The point was that you should be more careful.

Sally Spankee: Thank you so much for pointing that out.  Seriously.  I've fixed it now.  That was pretty naughty of me, don't you think? maybe you should teach me a lesson and help me remember to be more careful, huh?

Me: [Score!] Yes, Sally... although you weren't intentionally being naughty, this is a lesson I think you should remember, and I'll do my best to help you remember this.

Believe it or not, that's a summation of a handful of series of spanking correspondence which led to actual meetings.

So, in summation... stay away from mixing spanking and Facebook.  But if you think you know what you're doing, searching for emails under your naughty Facebook account can lead to some positive results.  Just be careful out there.