Sunday, June 17, 2012
Happy Father's Day. Yes, I'll post a report from my first spanking party, but writing this ahead of time to be posted on Sunday, because it will be topical. Sorry- no sexy pics in this post, just a real discussion.
I've always had issues with the use of the term "Daddy" in spanking play. It just was kind of weird for me. Not sure whether it was because it conjured up images of a flawed relationship with my parents or whether it was because I think of spanking as sexual and that leads to implications of incest- which is taboo for a reason- because it's awful... but even if I hate spanko jargon, one bit of spanko jargon particularly fit my thinking about using the term "Daddy" to apply to a top... Squicky.
I like to think I have a strong stomach and an open mind. Everyone enjoys their hamburger a little differently, right? What appeals to others may not appeal to me, and what I like may be weird to others, and that's all okay, right? But for some reason the "Daddy" thing just made me say "Ewww... No. Yuck!"
But I've gradually come around, at least a little bit. I've had conversations with Kitty about this. She calls her husband "Daddy" and has posted about it. It's just natural to her. I can kind of see that. My wife and I call each other Mommy and Daddy around the kids.
"Mommy, didn't I hear you say that they had to finish their chicken before they could have a popsicle? So then why are you asking me? Are you hoping for a better answer? I sure hope that's not what you're doing."
"Mommy's about to go to her meeting with other mommies [a/k/a Bunko] so Daddy's going to give you your bath and make sure you brush your teeth... Aren't you Daddy?!"
You get the picture... It's often convenient to refer to each other that way, and sometimes we use "Mommy" or "Daddy" when speaking to each other if we're trying to invoke traditional roles.
"Daddy, isn't it time to take out the trash?"
"No, I didn't remember that the school musical was on Tuesday night, but that's why I'm so grateful that Mommy keeps a calendar of those things!"
As a slightly related aside- one of the unspoken benefits of children is that it does away with any and all awkwardness as to how to address the in-laws. When I met her dad, he was Mr. Jones. When we married, he said it was okay to finally call him Bill or Dad. But that felt weird either way, and I was in the habit of calling him Mr. Jones anyway. Suddenly, with the advent of kids, it was okay to call him "Pappa" just as our kids did.
Anyway- back to spanking and "Daddy"... So after those conversations with Kitty, I could sort of understand, though I still felt it was a little weird. My wife and I don't call each other "Mommy" and Daddy" when we're doing it vanilla style, but I guess I could kind of understand. Still, I felt ageplay was, well... weird, and certainly not my thing.
But the last lady I spanked- and it was a great spanking play session- finally changed that. As we were decompressing, debriefing, and rehashing, she said she almost called me "daddy" at one point and asked if that would have freaked me out.
"Yes." I responded honestly.
That was clearly the wrong answer judging by her face, but it led to a discussions of how she lost her father at a young age, admittedly had "Daddy issues" and that it wasn't an incestuous thing because she just didn't ever have a Daddy or a strong male in her life growing up and that was something that probably led her into the whole spanking thing. Then she sort of lectured me on how I shouldn't judge those into ageplay. My heart melted and at the end I wanted to take back the spanking and just hold her. I got it.
Not everyone likes their hamburger the same way, but I won't be judgmental toward those who want to call their spanker "Daddy" again. Just thought I'd share.
at 12:52 AM