Thursday, June 7, 2012

Secret Spanko Tip: Facebook

I'm back.  Many thanks, again, to Emen for providing me with posts and all her comment replies while I was away.  Not only did she get chrossed, but there were 4 new folks that joined (aka subscribed) to the blog.  (frankly I think joining blogs is kind of pointless because you receive updates a few days after it's posted, but it's still a little flattering.)  Hope I won't disappoint y'all... I haven't tried the short hot funny spanking vignette form of post that Emen does.  Mostly it's just me talking about stuff, usually with some illustrative pics I found on the internet.

I couldn't think of anything to write about, but mostly wanted to thank Emen and so figured I should post SOMETHING.  I thought I'd get back to my roots and post a Secret Spanko tip.  It's been awhile since I posted one, and for those of you new to the blog, they're just little tips and tricks I've learned over the years and want to share to help other secret spankos as they keep their spanking interests concealed.

I thought several Secret Spanko tips about Facebook might be interesting.  Here's the 1st major tip, and a general rule... Stay away from it!  Spanking and Facebook don't mix!
I didn't get much sun on my recent vacation!

That really is my advice, but that's kind of a boring post, and y'all might be wondering why... besides, if you're like me, a little pushing the edge/living just a wee bit dangerously is part of the excitement.  So... do as I say, and not as I do.  Yes, I have a "naughty" Facebook presence.  But if you want to mix spanking and Facebook as a Secret Spanko, you'd better know what you're doing, and that's why I'm here to help.

Facebook's been in the news a lot recently with their predictably underwhelming initial public offering of stock.  It was predictably underwhelming because Facebook is free, and its sole source of revenue at this point are internet ads.  It's these ads I'll talk about first.

Facebook has really powerful evil wizards, er... uhm, computer scientists and algorithms that tell Facebook a lot about you so that they can display ads you're likely to click and suggest things to keep you on there so you'll be exposed to more ads.  While not as creepy as this guy's experience, I've noticed this myself.  Just in preparation for this post, I checked, and the ads on my real Facebook account are about college football (the teams I'm interested in, at that) and refinancing mortgages.  The ads on my wife's account are for mommy blogs, weight loss, and stay-at-home businesses.  The ads on my "naughty" Facebook account are bikinis and quasi-gambling.  And I'm pretty careful about only logging in to to naughty account when I'm in incognito mode on my browser.  So that's the first thing to watch out for.  Don't look at spanking stuff on the internet while you're logged in to Facebook or you might get some ads that would be hard to explain if your vanilla spouse walked in and you were just doing legitimate normal Facebook stuff.

The ads, though, are the least of your worries.  Those wizards, I mean computer scientists... at Facebook are collecting lots of data on you.  What you like... where you live... who your email contacts are... and this is part of why some people are investing in Facebook and why their stock was so overvalued given their current revenue... because that data is valuable, and the thinking is that Facebook will someday (maybe soon) sell all that data, and that's what justified the stock price.  This is not a conspiracy theorist black helicopter type worry.  Say you've used your email to subscribe to a spanking video site... if your email is in Facebook, and you've used that email to "find friends" then Facebook has your contacts.  Not just those that you add to your contacts, but anyone you've emailed that has a Facebook account.  Facebook still asks me to add the office manager at a former job as my friend.  She's not the friend of any of my Facebook friends... she didn't go to school with me, or live in my hometown... I emailed her about tying up some loose threads a couple of times-  that's it.  Somehow Facebook knows that I know her, and years later is asking me to be her friend.  Kinda spooky.  (Of course, it also tells me that she's using her office email to play on Facebook, which I find amusing!)

Here's where that gets un-amusing and kind of scary...  I once took a pic on my phone of a lovely lady's bottom that I had reddened, and sent it from my phone (which is connected to my real life email) to my "naughty" email address.  (Okay, so I wanted to see it again, is that so wrong?)  Then of course, I deleted the pic from my phone and deleted the email from my sent folder and then again from the trash bin on my real life email-- I'd covered my tracks, right?  Nope.  Guess who showed up on my "you might should be friends with them" list... my real life account and my "naughty" account, and vice versa -yikes!  Not only that, but as I scrolled down on my who-I-should-be-friends-with list on my naughty account, there were all sorts of legitimate friends that I sure would not want to know about "MarkyMarks" or "SecretSpanko" that were one click away from getting a friend request!

So with all that scary stuff, why the Heck would I have a naughty Facebook account? Good question. (By the way, the privacy is locked down, and I only have 2 or 3 friends, so this is NOT an attempt to make more social connections on my "naughty" Facebook account!) Here's why I still have it, and still use it...

Let me backtrack just a bit to discuss how most people were introduced to Facebook... You decided, "okay, I'll see what this is all about," and you quickly got hooked as you reconnected with old high school friends, college friends, whatever.  It was cool for a couple of months.  Then you got tired of seeing updates about someone's kids, or farmville achievements, etc... and you soon realized that there was a reason you were still in touch with the people you were in touch with, and had lost touch with everyone else.  Unless you were into sharing pics of your kids or grand-kids, or were single and bragging about yourself, or (like me) trying to update an organization's Facebook page that no one paid attention to anyway... Facebook got old pretty quick.  In fact, most people forget about it.  Not only that, but they forgot about it before people started to be paranoid about privacy.

As a secret spanko, if you've been chatting and emailing someone, and y'all are considering meeting, my advice is to do your due diligence.  Most spankos are nice normal people, but there are some crazy ones out there, and I've heard horror stories.  There's, and a slew of other websites where you can look up personal data based on the information you have- city, email address, etc... but the treasure trove is searching for someone's email address on Facebook, and finding them, and they have it open to the world.  I'm shocked at how often this happens to me.  I'd say up to 1/3rd of the ladies I've met online have a Facebook account that's searchable, and a good chunk of those have not restricted their information to their friends.  I find tons of pictures of them, their real name, family, tons of information about them.  It certainly helps me make a decision about whether they're someone I want to meet, and can lead to a conversation that must be handled very gently...

After several emails and discussions about meeting...

Me: Listen, Sally Spankee... or should I say, Jane Strotherton... Hope that didn't shock you too much, but you need to know that you've not been very careful.  I think you're really sweet, and I'm risking you thinking I'm a creepy stalker by saying this, but I think your safety is important enough that if I were you I'd want me to mention this... there are a few crazies out there and before I meet someone I like to perform my due diligence on them- in your case I found out your real name and all of what you had on Facebook. I'm just offering some free advice here- I think you should not be using your real email to correspond to folks interested in spanking, and you should change your privacy settings on Facebook.  Like I said, I hope you don't think I'm a creep, but the risk of that is worth me pointing this out because I'm worried about how cavalier you are with your privacy.

Sally Spankee: OMG! you're so right! Holy Crap! You saw all my pics on FB?! So, did you think my pics were cute?

Me: Yes, you were certainly cute, and I enjoyed getting to know you a lot more about you.  But that wasn't really the point.  The point was that you should be more careful.

Sally Spankee: Thank you so much for pointing that out.  Seriously.  I've fixed it now.  That was pretty naughty of me, don't you think? maybe you should teach me a lesson and help me remember to be more careful, huh?

Me: [Score!] Yes, Sally... although you weren't intentionally being naughty, this is a lesson I think you should remember, and I'll do my best to help you remember this.

Believe it or not, that's a summation of a handful of series of spanking correspondence which led to actual meetings.

So, in summation... stay away from mixing spanking and Facebook.  But if you think you know what you're doing, searching for emails under your naughty Facebook account can lead to some positive results.  Just be careful out there.


  1. Well, considering what I posted on my own blog today, I'd say you're right -- Facebook and spanking don't mix! And yet, so many of us are on there. I'm there more to screw with them than anything else -- FB tends to ban people who post blatant spanko stuff, so I don't come right out and say anything, or post spanking pictures. I just hint at it. :-) It's purely about mischief and taking a risk. If I didn't have a completely separate email for work and clients, I probably wouldn't do it.

    1. That was one wild and crazy story! just please learn from me and make sure your completely separate emails never interact. Though if you're up to mischief, maybe I should befriend you on FB because I bet it would be fun to watch!

  2. Thanks for the kind words and you're welcome. I like this kind of post a lot because I don't understand most of it so I need to keep reading about it.

    Thanks so much for saying those post notifications from the blogs are always two days late. I thought that was only happening to me.

    1. You're very welcome for the kind words- you certainly earned them. And seriously, the motivation to post something just so I could thank you was exactly what I needed to push through my writers block- because I spent two days trying to think of something to blog about but couldn't think of anything just because I wanted to say thanks!

  3. I've recently been getting pressure from various vanilla people to join, and I've been reluctant to do so unless I feel it's right for me. Thanks for explaining the dark side of FB. I have used my vanilla email to order spanking items, so you have convinced me it would be a big mistake to join unless I instantly locked down my account. And where's the fun in that?


  4. I'm the same as Hermione. Friends wanting me to join Facebook but have been uncertain about it but after reading your post, I've decided not to. Thanks.


  5. Hermione and ronnie- will respond to both of you at the same time... Although I'm glad this was a service to you both, part of me hates that I've discouraged y'all from joining FB vanillaly (not a real word, but it should be.) It is fun (for about a month) - kinda like a high school reunion, except that you can ignore people, and don't have to have a free weekend or travel. But I would not use the same email that you've ordered spanking implements with in the past. Maybe set up a new email address- hermionesfb@geemail or something, and don't have any interaction between the two accounts or something. Still, hope this was helpful.

  6. And you offer very good advice indeed especialy now facebook is being run by others , i have always believed a little caution is the wisest way in approaching many things, the old saying *Be safe and Not sorry springs to mind*.

    Correction Man.

  7. Glad you got something out of that, Correction Man.