Thursday, July 19, 2012

Ideally, I'd prefer to spank strong women

I wanted to continue a multi-blog discussion that was going on before my little break. I wanted to build off of something Kaelah said in her post  about switching, which was a follow up to my post about switching, which was a follow up to Erica's post about how you don't have to have switched to be a good spanker or spankee. Erica's post was inspired, in part, by my post where I quoted someone anonymously as saying "tops who haven't at least tried switching are pussies."

I enjoyed the back-and-forth and difference of opinions, and everyone (even in the comments) was polite and contributed to an intelligent discussion.  Don't worry though, this isn't yet another post about switching. At least not entirely.

Kaelah said something in her post that really struck me as accurately echoing some of my thoughts.
She said: "When it comes to topping, I have to admit that topping a person who is predominantly a top has a special attraction for me as well. ...[snip]... giving him- or herself into my hands feels like an even greater gift of trust from someone who isn't predominantly into bottoming and for whom it might be even harder to submit him- or herself to another person."

Totally agree with that statement. Yes, I find it very sexy to spank someone that's a switch, or even primarily a top.  I've only been able to do so a few times, and I'm pretty sure that even that is not at all common.

However, I think there's a little more to it than just that for me. It's not just about switching. The same concept can be applied more broadly as far as my preferences in spanking.   As a secret spanko you don't always get to be picky in finding ladies that want to meet to play in real life.  But if I had my 'druthers...  I'm not as into submissive women as you might expect.  Having said that though, the concept of the stronger the person, the greater their gift of submission really appeals to me.

If I had my preference, I'd prefer spanking strong women.  And by "strong woman" I don't mean a body builder.
not so much


Her "strength" can come in a variety of ways. I'm just using "strong" because not sure how to say it better. I've compared spanking to fishing before, and its better to catch a big fish but sometimes more fun to catch one with a lot of fight in it. Okay, that probably doesn't help explain what I'm trying to say either.  (And no offense to bigger women meant!)  Maybe some examples would help.

Here's what I mean by that... Maybe their strength comes from their position or reputation. One of the last secret spankos I met, in our phone conversations prior to setting up our date, said at one point, "hang on, let me shut the office door." She was a successful professional, and assertive in her real life, and the fact that someone like that wanted a spanking from me gave me an extra tingle thinking about it. Christina Hendricks in Mad Men sort of personifies that to me.  She's the boss of the office staff.  Not on the level of the partners (well, until the end of this season!) but she's certainly stronger than any receptionist or phone operator, and well, in my fantasy, I'd far prefer to give her a spanking (and not just because of her boobs) than give a spanking to one of the ladies she supervises, even if the younger more naive ladies she supervises are plenty hot too.  Make sense now?

Maybe their strength comes from the fact that they're older than me. No secret that I think spanking an older woman is really appealing. There's something a little more out of the ordinary and special about a younger guy spanking an older woman- again, the gift of submission is just a little bit greater.  I've shared some hot emails with Emen (my guest host - she'll be running the blog next week by the way) and the fact that she's older than I am and thinks that's sexy adds to it.

Maybe she's not only older than I am, not only a great writer, not only has a rapier wit that would keep a top on his toes, but also a highly respected member of the community with "gravitas" - Gee, wonder who I'm thinking about?  Her credentials adds a little zest to the thought of me spanking her.

Maybe it's that she has a reputation as one who relishes injuring the hands of her spankers with her famously iron-like butt.  It wouldn't have meant as much to me for her to open up if she didn't have that hard tough-girl exterior.  Gee, wonder who I'm thinking about?

In the same vein, I really like tall women.  Maybe it's that it's a bigger deal for them to bend over.  Having met Amelia Jane Rutherford, I can see why she might be intimidating to some men.  She's as tall as I am, and beautiful.  Not too many ladies am I around that make me think of the bald spot on top of my head, but if she were in heels, she'd probably see it.  But I really like to see tall ladies bent over.  And it's been a few paragraphs without pictures, so here goes.

Sarah of SpankingSarah is tall too. notice how her butt is almost at his chest level when she's bent over? 

you can see from this pic that's she's taller than he is, but bending over  for an accomplished spanker.

Another of SpankingSarah showing the height difference that I think makes it just a little bit hotter.

Like I said, maybe I like it because tall ladies just have further to bend over.

Anyway, I like to think about and to actually spank ladies that aren't your stereotypical submissive, but I think it's because the fact that thinking about and/or actually getting to spank someone that's a not so typically submissive carries more weight when they actually do.  I hope that made sense.

As I mentioned before, I'll be gone for a week or so starting next week, but Emen has graciously agreed for me to post some of her wonderful writing again.  I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I have. (I've gotten a sneak peak!)  Adios, for now.


  1. I think I understand your post, but in the opposite manner, well.. that of a strong woman.
    Strong minded maybe? I'm a bit of a short spitfire I guess.

    As mainly a "boss" type (in the workplace and at home sometimes) I could be seen as a strong woman, someone who is not submissive at all, but one who enjoys the man who can have the nerve to spank me despite my nature.

    I struggle with wondering if I should be the top at times, but in all honesty, I melt when my "H" has had enough of my "matter of fact", always right, assertive, bossy ways and takes me over his knee no matter how I fight or complain.
    I'm usually pretty submissive in the end though..

    Hard to explain, even harder to understand!

    1. Sounds like you're jut the type to struggle with it and wind up over his knee, even if you're still exploring... thanks for the comment- hope you find what you're looking for!

  2. I recall two women saying something to me along the lines of they wanted to spank me because I was a good top and they thought a hard to get bottom. Both enjoyed bottoming more than topping, but it was all fun.

    I have never been attracted to submissive women. No spunk, no interest.

    Tall women! Yes. I am tall and quite attracted to long legs.

    Interesting post.

    1. glad you liked that. It's almost a shame that I decif=ded not to do a separate post just on tall ladies!

  3. You made your point very well. I understand your attraction to the ladies you speak of. Do you understand our(my) attraction to you? Is it sexy? Yes. Do you get the "gift of submission"? More rarified than I'd put it but yeah, that's good. Do you know that your level of play, wide ranging as it can be, so embraces the partnership that understands that the only way we can get there is together?


  4. OK, I give up -- who the heck are you thinking about? ;-)

    Seriously, I'm honored. (and just so y'all know, SS asked for my OK before he wrote about my being older than he is. He's a gentleman.)

    My bottoming is often; my submission is rare. I don't like to show my vulnerability, so I often use humor and sarcasm (which, fortunately, people seem to find amusing). So when I connect with a man who can fully tap into my deeply hidden submissive side, that is an incredible experience indeed.

    It's always nice to know there are tops out there who enjoy the challenge of earning trust and submission, rather than having it meekly handed to them.

    1. Fair enough on the difference between submission and bottoming- guess I should have clarified that.

  5. I am totally appreciating this post, because my post today was about not "getting" the cougar spanking thing. Thank you for giving me the top's perspective...

    1. I just checked out your blog for the 1st time- cant wait to visit again when I have time to read some of those stories. Glad I can help with the mindset re: "cougars"

  6. Have a great week away!

    I think a lot of "submissive" women are Type A-ish outside of their designated submissive relationship. More often than not, they're confident, take-charge, organized, and self-disciplined. Their submission is within a certain range and context only.

    I don't think you have to be like that to be able to submit, but I think that the opposite sides reinforce each other.

    1. I think you're onto something, Ana. That's one reason why I think it's impossible to develop a "spankdar" and be able to tell if someone you meet is into spankings.

  7. I absolutely get your point about wanting to top "strong" people, and this is an important aspect for me as well. For me it is the same when it comes to bottoming. For example, I wouldn't want to bottom for someone if I sensed that this person needed the experience of topping in order to feel strong. Don't get me wrong, topping someone can in a way make me feel strong, just like bottoming can do as well. I don't think that there is anything bad about that. But if someone used the experience only to show off and to make up for insecurities in real life, I wouldn't feel safe playing with that person.