Friday, September 14, 2012

vulnerability

As promised... a post actually about spanking.  In one of my first blog posts I broke down elements of a why spankings appeal to spankos: pain, sexual arousal, surrendering control, punishment for doing something bad,  trust, emotional release, etc...  One of these elements was vulnerability.  I think vulnerability is one of the least appreciated elements of a spanking, but to me it's one of the key ingredients in a good spanking.  Vulnerability also interacts with and enhances other elements of a spanking.  It requires a great deal of trust for most people to feel comfortable allowing themselves to become vulnerable.  Becoming vulnerable can be a prerequisite to the emotional release some people crave in a spanking.
http://girlspunishment.tumblr.com
One big part of vulnerability, or one way to help the bottom achieve it is, at least to me, for them to be undressed.  We don't wear armor, but our clothes protect us, and it's certainly not normal to be undressed in front of a person who is not.
Well, maybe your doctor, but still.
When you're getting undressed in preparation for sex, often the lights are dim if not off, you're wearing your best clothes, the other person is getting undressed too, and you've both had something to drink.  On the contrary, getting undressed for a spanking involves none of these things, just the cold sober light of day. 
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You're just there, and bare, with all your blemishes and imperfections on display.  And you know he's going to see all of you once you start kicking.
http://dazzledent.tumblr.com 
Getting naked, or at least partially so, is a big part of becoming vulnerable, but it certainly not all there is to it.   The over the knee position is, I think, designed in part to make the spankee feel vulnerable.  Feelings are a great big part of it.  Just as no one but lovers and doctors see you naked because we protect ourselves with clothes, we also protect our emotions, perhaps to an even greater extent.  Maybe it's only those that spank you that ever get to see you truly let go of your emotions.  They witness the raw, unvarnished reaction to an overwhelming stimulus.  Maybe it's not just physical stimulus you're reacting to but mental.  The reaction is not just to the pain, but feeling guilty or even ashamed.  It's obviously different for different folks, but without allowing yourself to become vulnerable, you're probably not going to react like this:
girlsboardingschool.com

It's often said that submissiveness is a gift.  While that is probably very true, I think that maybe vulnerability is an even greater gift.

See there, after my last post, I'm still capable of posting something strictly spanking related.  AS a follow-up, though... while the deaths resulting from the attacks at the Libyan embassy are a tragedy, I couldn't help but notice the amusing timing of this announcement: yesterday the world record all time highest temperature recorded, that had been in Libya, was deemed to have been false.  The new world all time high temp. is now held by Death Valley, CA.  Take that Libya!  Global warming note- both were recorded before 1925. 

16 comments:

  1. I had never broken the words down. I had always considered being vulnerable and submissive to be about the same thing. On reflection you are quite right. I only wish that taking a lasses panties down now, produced the same degree of vulnerability as it did when we were both young. Nudity is no big deal now.

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  2. Glad you got something out of it. Yes, I think one could be submissive, yet be guarded and not be vulnerable. Probably the same thing with nudity goes for lots of folks who are together and have been for awhile.

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  3. on the other hand, i have found that i can be vulnerable without being submissive too... and in those relationships i've been hurt the most.

    i suspect there is a sequence and if i'm right, for me, my sequence is - find the submission before allowing the vulnerability. it's like submission works as my first level of defence.

    Thanks... i may have to explore this on my own blog one day...

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    1. i hope you enjoy your exploring. I'd think that submission is a step toward becoming vulnerable, but maybe that's just me. will look forward to you exploring this on your blog.

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  4. I agree that vulnerability can be both physical and emotional. For me, the ultimate vulnerability is being able to break down and cry. Not the bad, violated kind of tears, but the ones of sweet release. I often start my scenes being flippant and giggly, so the tops who can cut through that are special indeed. Not that I always want that level of vulnerability -- sometimes, I just want fun. :-)

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    1. well when you get spanked as often as you do, I guess you can afford some just for fun sessions!

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  5. I am not a huge fan of the vulnerability thing. I'd prefer to be not vulnerable at all, thank you! ;)

    What I crave actually is the intimacy. I don't mean sexually (it is not sexual for me at all, but pure discipline). I have been spanked for not talking, not opening up, not trusting...and I may be mad and kicking when I go down, but almost every time I come up meek and ready to answer questions and share without being prompted. So it is a kind of vulnerability, breaking down barriers and forcing you (at least in my case) to share things I wouldn't otherwise.

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    1. thats another aspect of vulnerability I hadn't thought of. glad this made you think.

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  6. I'm writing this again because the first comment didn't show up. If I write another one they'll both come up and I'll look like an idiot. That makes me feel very vulnerable.

    I see by your well deserved, sensitive, intelligent comments that so far I'm the only one that found this really hot. Not Lybian Death Valley hot. Hot hot.

    I think because in my image of you as a Spanker again and again you impress me with your understanding of the partnership and your perception of what your Spankee is experiencing. You know. You've switched. You wanted to know what it felt like. That's hot.

    The mind is the greatest erogenous zone. No doubt. I still want your hand striking me. I still want you holding me down. I still want the heat and the force, but knowing that you feel my vulnerability. That's hot.

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    1. uhm... not sure what to say here... would love to get you where you can feel comfortable allowing yourself to become vulnerable. How about that?! I do agree that it's something I didn't fully appreciate before switching- taking it.

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  7. There is something about one person being naked and one fully clothe that exacerbates the powere exchange dynamic as well that I find very appealing.

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    1. glad that great minds think alike Mrs. Soft Bottom. welcome to the blog, and I must say, that's a lovely name!

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    2. Yes, your are perfectly right in that: the naughty girl sure is aware she will be humiliated when ordered to remove her clothing each item folded as she does: the Bra, now time is taken here as one watches an embarrassed beautiful young lady undo the back: as she folds he beauties are gorgeous: then slowly she slip down her panties exposing a very elouquent pussy ( I like the hairy one's) then as she bends down to pick up the bundle her bottom is fully exposed to my view: I tell her stay in that position as she holds her clothes in her hands: spread your legs, that's my obedient girl: wider, oh yes, exquisite: enough for now: spanking comes later

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  8. I'm a bit late on this, but I wanted to put in my two cents' worth nonetheless. Vulnerability often hasn't got such a huge appeal for me when it comes to spanking and I wondered why. I guess, the answer is quite easy, though. I am quite vulnerable in real life and I have no problem with showing my vulnerability to Ludwig (or others who are very close to me). When I am sad, I simply cry (in Ludwig's arms if he is there). What I miss more often, is either the feeling that goes along with erotic fun or the feeling of being tough, safe and invincible (not only pretending to be tough while suppressing fears and doubts). I guess that's why my play goes more into these directions and less often into the direction of feeling my vulnerability.

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  9. Kaelah- you always have such thoughtful things to say. Maybe the feeling of being vulnerable is more desirable for those with more emotional walls than you.

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  10. JUST FUCK OFF & GO TO HELL, STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS !!!

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