Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Why We Like Naked Celebrities

Why is there such a huge interest in celebrity nudity? I have a theory, and will try relate it to spanking celebrities as well. 

As my regular readers know, I read a lot about politics. One quick launching place for articles is the huffingtonpost.com. Its a left-leaning news aggregator site, almost like the drudgereport, but it has some original material as well.  To the side, it shows the most clicked-on articles of the day.  Last night, I saw the top stories on the site looked like this:

Seriously? With a month and a half to go before the presidential elections and readers of a political site would rather read about a topless princess than anything else.  Why?  I mean, there were a lot of far more important news stories. On the other hand, there are billions of places on the internet where one can find much more erotic images.  Like these for example.  
I think this is an amazing photo, and just begging for funny captions
I wish every nude model would smile instead of pout!
They're from X-art.com. More available here. Notice how the photographs are much better than a grainy long distance telephoto lens shot of Kate Middleton? (And while I'm at it, I'd say this anonymous young lady's boobs are more fun too!) But she doesn't get a bajillion people wanting to see these pictures and turn into a major news event covered by every news outlet.

The furor over Middleton's mammaries is not an isolated incident though.  Every time there's a new pic of some celebrity oops moment or private sex tape "stolen" and released the public goes nuts.  Remember when the internet was abuzz after someone "hacked" the cell phone of Christina Hendricks and published her photos just in time for the season premiere of Mad Men? (But she insisted that the one pic of her bare breasts was fake!)  Yes, she obviously has nice boobs. But so does my lunchtime buddy, and I get a far bigger kick out of seeing those of my lunchtime buddy than any Hollywood star.  (Sorry... she hasn't given me permission to post them on my blog.)  Again I asked myself "Why?"  

Here's what I came up with: While I can appreciate the beauty of someone anonymous, I find it sexier when I know them.  I'm a guy, and naturally I like to look at naked women.  But there's a hierarchy in what naked women I'd prefer to look at.  Beauty is better than plain, but familiarity trumps.  It's like when you're playing spades... the higher the card the better, but a spade can trump. I'd prefer hotness, but familiarity can trump hotness.  It's not JUST familiarity though.  Digging deeper, there's maybe a sense of someone sharing with you, or the sense that you're seeing something that you're not supposed to.  Maybe it's that you have some affection for the person, and it's not just that you're seeing a pair of boobs, but that you're seeing HER boobs.

Think about it this way... I live relatively close to a college, with plenty of hot girls I see jogging around the trail every day on my way home from work.  If Playboy did a "Girls of the ____ " like they used to back in the day, I'd be interested and probably chuckle, but if I heard that our hot babysitter from last week was in it, I'd definitely get it and that would be the 1st thing I looked for.  I think celebrities and the public's prurient interest in them is just an extension of this.  A bunch of people watch Mad Men and the guys that do feel like the "know" a little about Joan and so when the actress who portrays her has some naughty pictures surface, they're all over them.  Billions of people feel like they "know" Kate Middleton, so when pictures surface, the public is all over them. 

Oh yeah, I was going to relate this to spanking... if (hypothetically) I check out spankingtube some night, and there are plenty of new videos, I'll check out the ones that sound good, or are longer, but if there's one with someone I've had personal interaction with, you'd better believe that those are going to be the 1st ones I watch.  I'm looking at you, Pandora and Ten.  The same concept applies to spanking models who allow the public to get to know a lot about them, like Alex, and oh yeah... Erica.

Maybe this should all just be completely obvious, but after seeing that five of the top seven stories on Huffingtonpost were on those paparazzi pics, I thought about it and thought I'd share my little theories. 


  1. I'm glad you qualified that it's not JUST familiarity. After all, we're all familiar with Roseanne, too. ;-)

    I think, in the case of Kate Middleton, it's less about boobies and more about royalty. With all eyes upon them at all times (why, I've never quite understood), The Royal Family seems to be above such mundane things as nudity (they sleep fully dressed in designer duds, don't they?).

  2. Didn't see any Roseanne pics in my research for this post, but I did see one of a Nancy Grace nip-slip! A queen of spades such as yourself still beats a 6 of spades! (but there's something kinda sexy about Nancy Grace- maybe it's just me!) Pretty sure not every royal is opposed to getting naked, just ask prince Harry!

  3. Caption for the first photo:

    "What was that? You said I act as if the sun shines out of my ***? Well what do you think of this?"


    I agree with Emen about the royalty thing.

    1. Nice caption. I was thinking about maybe a James Bond film title... Golden Octopussy!

  4. Definitely want to see pictures of someone I know. Remember that song that started "a chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sitting there"?

    A cock is still a cock but when it's his cock that changes everything. I guess the familiarity of celebrities causes similar reaction. But I'd rather look at his hand or his knee or his earlobe than a million celebrity dicks.

    1. Not sure I remember that song... I thought my readers should encourage me to stay away from politics and empty chairs.

      That's a sweet sentiment- but not sure male celebrities are in the habit of showing their cocks nearly as much as female celebrities showing their boobs. Maybe we could test that and have me take a pic of my elbow and see if you like it?!