Tuesday, February 5, 2013

When you just want to hug her, not spank her.

Maybe I'm just a softie, but it's happened several times now.  Let's face it- spanking is a very intimate activity.  But that's not just because it involves the taking off of clothes and the fact that when she's over your lap your genitals are mere inches from each other.  It lays bare and raw deeply held emotions and desires that are shared with maybe no one else.  

I spent some time at a very religious school where it was widely known and joked about among my group of friends that one way of getting into a girl's pants was to go to bible study with her.  You share thoughts, emotions, concerns, comfort her through the shedding of a few tears, hold hands in prayer, and well, that's pretty intimate, emotionally.  That intimacy can lead to a transference of other forms of intimacy, and boom! Score. I never did that, but saw it happen multiple times.  Enough to confirm that if that's what you want, that tactic works at least as well as meeting a girl in a bar.

What I'm talking about in this post though, is sort of the exact opposite of that.  In spanking, you already have her pants off.  But that comes along with an invitation to her emotions... her feelings, her concerns, and the tears and comfort are right there.  Add to it the fact that most of the ladies I've seen have kept the desire for spanking bottled up for years because it's not socially acceptable, or acceptable to their spouse, and add the unleashing of the fact that they now know they're not alone in these weird insane desires to be spanked by a man... it can (and has) led to an unloading of emotions and problems they face in their real life.  Problems that in spite of my best intentions and desires... I cannot fix.

This post may seem odd to the many spanking blog readers who are in a committed relationship involving spanking.  Y'all have plenty of time to talk about things and share a life, and hug and spank and (do other naughty fun things and) then hug some more.  


But for me, It's become a problem.  I start to really care about the women that want me to spank them, and they open up about their life, and I feel for them and the struggles they're going through... If they had someone to be open and honest with about their secret desires, they wouldn't be coming to me!  Look, let's be honest... I tried to attend the convention of Folks With a Normal Non-Fucked-Up Childhood last year. 


As you can see, the attendance was sparse.  We all have our problems... our issues.  But some of these ladies have faced so much more than I can imagine in their past... not to mention their current struggles.  Dying spouses; dying parents; childhood trauma; dysfunctional families... I want to make everything right for them.  I want to really help them.  But I can't help everyone, and I can't solve every problem.  I'm sure not a trained psychologist!  I know that intellectually.  And I know that giving them a good spanking is what they want, and maybe what they need.  Don't get me wrong- I still take sexual pleasure from spanking --it's hot.  But sometimes it's not like this:

I can't help it.  Maybe that's the reason people "brat" - but when they open themselves up to me emotionally- which is entirely natural -- it gets to me.  Maybe someday I'll become an old crusty spanko top that doesn't care, but sometimes I don't want to spank them, I want to just give them a hug and make it all better.
Okay so I don't look like that, and neither do my recent spankees, but you get the idea. 



6 comments:

  1. I don't know if this is a recent ephinaphy or you are experiencing it again. But, getting "unexpectably" wrapped up in her deepest feelings will play with your emotions. If we were shrinks, we would know how to handle ourselves,but we don't. It's playing with fire, but it is so intoxicating. Let's hope you both find your way through it and remain friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, not a new epiphany, unfortunately. Just seeing it again.

      Delete
  2. That emotional connection is very very important with spankings. I can somewhat relate to this post, because with me, i've never had a disciplinarian who was also my significant other, it was a friendship - so it's hard because you don't always know where that line is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup. Hard to draw those lines, when you want to help more than you can.

      Delete
  3. I think that it's true that you get bonded to the person that spanks you, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. People are so disconnected nowadays and the human touch is much better than a text.

    Love,
    Hannah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome to the blog, Hannah. I know it's not a bad thing to let emotions out in the context of a spanking- it's when real life based on those emotions (or the other way around) gets involved that it gets tricky.

      Delete