Thursday, August 15, 2013
fantasy vs. reality... It takes more than just whacking a bottom until it hurts
One of my favorite spankos, Dana Kane, recently posted something about when fantasy doesn't meet reality in a spanking relationship, and I thank her for the inspiration for this post. Specifically, her post was about a couple where the guy craved a spanking, and the wife (who wasn't into spanking) was willing to deliver, but when the rubber met the road (so to speak) the guy decided he wasn't that into it. His fantasy didn't match the reality of a real spanking from his wife
The first inclination is to blame him. I mean, he probably asked and asked for it, and she finally gave in. She didn't condemn him for his sick and twisted perverse sexuality, no... she indulged him in it. Right?
Well, I think there's more to it than that.
Not every spanking is like what secret spankos see on spanking videos. Usually there are cuts and edits galore. And to those that fulfill their spanking fantasies through spanking stories... well usually those are even less like reality than spanking videos.
Now, that having been said, I don't think it's fair to chalk up the disappointment of reality in a spanko to the glitz and glam of the spanking industry making movies or authors portraying a stylized/embellished version of a spanking.
I recently met a lifelong spanko for the first time. Her husband, a non-spanko, has indulged her. They had a ton of implements, and he used them on her fairly regularly. Members of spanking websites, etc... but never been to spanking parties or on fetlife or anything. Still, she craved something more. Spanking was always a form of foreplay to get her worked up as a prelude to sex. She'd never experienced the naughty girl spanking that she'd craved. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but it was a pretty magical session. Took her right to the edge of her tolerance level, where she'd never been before, and right back. Gave her exactly what she had been craving, and she felt a sore reminder the next day.
Once upon a time I wrote about spanking and a hamburger analogy. I still maintain a hamburger as my avatar. The premise of that post was that a spanking consists of several elements, and that those elements can be compared to the ingredients of a hamburger. The most basic are the buns (a bottom) and pain (the meat). A non-spanko spouse might get those right, but could be missing all the other elements- what makes a spanking appealing. Whether it's punishment or embarrassment or control... a non-spanko spouse might miss out on those hot button, tingle-inducing triggers that make a spanking appealing to spankos.
"Arch your back. there you go."
"I know it hurts sweetie, it's supposed to."
...all those things that make a spanking more than just whacking a bottom until it hurts. All those toppings on a hamburger. So maybe we should cut the guy some slack. Again, kuddos to this guys wife, and my new friend's husband for trying and giving it their best. However, I don't think you can really turn a vanilla into a spanko easily, and satisfying a spankos desires involves a little more than just whacking their bottom until it hurts.
at 12:07 AM