Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The Buttcracker... sweet!

Okay so it's that time of year again. No, not yet the time to celebrate Santa Claus and/or baby Jesus. But definitely the time of year when productions of Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker begin. I've always thought it was kinda sexy. Maybe a good portions of that thought is related to the time when I took a date to a performance of it. She used to be into ballet and despite some ribbing from my college friends about it being my idea, she liked it, and let's just say the date ended pretty well.
dare someone to caption this...
When I look up "sexy nutcracker" on the internet, there's an amusing smorgasbord of images.

Katy Perry a few years ago, courtesy of jezebel.com
Not talking about sexy nutcracker halloween costumes either, though there are several.
If I were a dominatrix, I like to think I'd be creative enough to bust out with the Nutcracker latex outfit about this time every year. (Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd write!)

There's a definite connection between spanking fantasies and ballet, though. I still remember, about that pre-internet time, getting a combo story pack in the mail, complete with illustrations, featuring a story about a ballet instructor caning one of his pupils. I hid it in a backpack in my closet next to some old playboy and penthouse magazines.  Let's face it, ballerina's are fit, and nimble, and super sexy. Their training is undoubtedly vigorous.   Ample fodder for spanking fantasies.


But the thought came to me this week... cause I often think about spanking, and heard an advertisement on the radio for a production of The Nutcracker Suite... wouldn't it be funny if someone came up with a spanko parody about a Buttcracker. You now, maybe name a Christmas-themed big wooden paddle after the crack sound it makes when impacting a bottom? Are you listening Cane-iac?
found on google but pretty sure it's from realspankings.com
Or, on the other hand, maybe something about when one spreads the bottom cheeks, to make sure the entire bottom turns a uniform shade of pink, and peppers the inside of the cheeks (a/k/a the buttcrack) with little spanks from the fingers or even a small thin wooden spoon? I've always enjoyed these and referred to them as "firecrackers" but since it's Christmas time... maybe referring to these little spanks as Tchaikovsky's Buttcrackers is more appropriate, no? 
a few spanks right in there- just to ensure uniform pinkness!
Sadly, in looking up images for this post, I discovered that I was not alone in wondering about the Nutcracker/buttcracker  parody idea.  It seems someone has beaten me to it. There was an off-Broadway production last year called the Buttcracker, that's a trailer park parody, complete with a chorus line of Old Milwaukee cans. There's also a drag show with the same name. Oh well. Just a thought that popped into my head and thought I'd share. And maybe provide ample fodder to spanking producers to come up with some Christmas themed content.

If you've made it this far, here's a little treat- a video of a ballerina getting spanked. I think it's someone named Roselee Young from awhile back, and have no idea who has the rights to it, but found this version on a naughty movie tube site and thought y'all might enjoy.

8 comments:

  1. Utterly diabolical, SS. But ol' Rosaleen Young was a consummate
    pain slut and that was one prolonged multi-implement session, and
    very much in keeping with your "Buttcracker" theme. Notice, as a
    sign of the times, young Rosaleen was not shaved baby smooth
    "down there," unlike "the style of today," as my Italian haberdasher
    would say. And that Rosaleen, what a marvelous nude physique!
    Glad to see a healthy scattering of her videos everywhere you look
    lately!

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    1. I was a big fan of hers. thanks for the comment.

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  2. Every time I've tried to read this post, the kids have come in! Hey, can't access the video, there's an error. Sad, I want to see it.

    I think your idea is brilliant and I'd definitely attend the show. Or participate. Whatever... :)

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    1. I hear you on kids interrupting... grrr! It may not work on ipads etc.

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  3. Too funny. The Nutcracker is my favorite ballet, and I never tire of the music. In fact, the March is my cell's ringtone.

    So now, I'll be forever thinking "Buttcracker." Along with John's interpretation -- "that BallBuster ballet." Oy vey.

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    1. glad to hear it- just wait for the update! ;-)

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  4. The Buttcracker huh? Well that is for sure an idea, lol. I think Caneiac should certainly make a paddle with that name!

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