Tuesday, June 9, 2015

corrections, and eating crow

A pet peeve of mine is when news organizations publish a story as if it's a big deal, causing an uproar, then issue a correction, but the correction is not nearly as prominent as the original story. Some examples.
So rather than edit my post about whiplr and insert a correction, I figured I should post an equally an equally prominent statement explaining how I was wrong.  So here goes:
I posted a series of A) through E) reasons why I did not recommend that app.  A couple of those reasons- I was dead wrong about and too stupid to get it.  There are still several reasons to not embrace this app, but I wanted to correct what I had been mistaken about.

A) still stands- there's nothing about spanking on it. The closest it comes is an interest in "impact play"

B) yes, the default is in metric units. I complained that it was hard to tell if someone was attractive based on their height/weight in kilograms/centimeters, much less whether one might be interested in meeting them based on the number of kilometers away they were. Well, uhm... if you go to settings, you can change it from metric to English measurements. So I was wrong to criticize the app for that. Insert Lincoln Chafee joke here.

C) there are cheesy animated flirts or something you can send of a ruler or belt, but apparently you have to pay to send some other illustration to your message.(This argument against it still stands).

D) the app look like it has a drop of blood on it, not appealing to most spankos. This argument still stands;
E) I said that after signing up, I got about 20 men to one woman on my feed of kinksters- well as it turns out this can be fixed- on the settings one can choose to only see the members of the opposite sex who are interested.  So I was wrong on that.  Hopefully I stand corrected and you can use this blog post to make a more informed decision.

Now if I can only figure out how to get it on the English system of measurements AND on women interested at the same time!

Friday, June 5, 2015

trying out whiplr -social media app to become your new spankdar?

Awhile back I wrote something about a spankdar vs. a gaydar- how you could tell if someone was gay, but I made the argument it was probably impossible to have an effective spankdar. 

It's actually one of my favorite posts, especially because of the illustration.  I always try to find some image to illustrate the post, but there's not much out there to illustrate a "spankdar", so I took an image of a radar and used MSPaint to modify it.

For those of you too lazy to click on it and read it, here a brief summary: A gaydar is real and is scientifically proven- many people can pick out those that are gay or lesbian at a rate better than chance based not just on stereotypes but on appearance and the way someone walks.  On the other hand, I argued that it's not likely for someone to develop a similar "spankdar" because A) It's less socially acceptable than homosexuality- Folks that are into spanking are not likely to talk about it or even hint about it in public; and B) Often (but not always!) one's hidden secret desires are a counterbalance to their public persona, e.g., the high powered CEO that seeks out a domme and relishes relinquishing control, the sweet lady at work who take out her pent up aggression, or the low level IT guy that secretly has a harem of collared slaves.  On the other hand, stereotypes become stereotypes for a reason- because they're often true- maybe the sweet lady in the office is truly submissive, and the handsome CEO is conservative, old-fashioned, and going to take his wife in hand.  I argued that it's pretty much impossible to tell from any outside indication whether someone is interested in spanking, much less whether they are more submissive or dominant behind closed doors.

But social media is an amazing thing.  There's a younger single guy in the office who showed me all about tindr. It's an app on your phone where you can look up people near to where you are, check out their pictures, what they say, and indicate whether you might be interested in them or not. You swipe one way if you like them, swipe another way when rejecting them.  It eliminates having to talk to people at bars or cheesy pick up lines, just start chatting on your phone with some who was a "match"  because you both indicated you liked the tindr profile of the other.  

Hmm... could something like this work as form of  identifying fellow spankos? Maybe. Wow! that would be really awesome! 

Unfortunately, I tried out the latest attempt at this sort of thing and sadly, for now, the answer is still No.

There's an app that's a sorta kinda BDSM version of tindr, It's called "whiplr" and it doesn't work (at least I cant see it working) for finding potential play partners, disciplinarians, long term relationships involving those who are into spanking, etc...

Here's why:
A) there's nothing about spanking on it. The closest it comes is an interest in "impact play"
B) measurements are in metric units. As an American, it's hard to tell how close someone is when the distance to you is in kilometers, and it's hard to tell if someone is attractive when their weight is listed in kilograms, and their height in centimeters.
C) there are cheesy animated flirts or something you can send of a ruler or belt, but apparently you have to pay to send some other illustration to your message.
D) the app look like it has a drop of blood on it, not appealing to most spankos.
E) and most important- click on the link to their homepage- see how it's full of a mixture of attractive women and men? (And at the center is some guy named "MrCGrey") well, that's obviously what they're shooting for, but after trying it out for a whole day, this is what I get when I logged on:
Yup, about 20 guys and no women. Sigh. Yes, maybe someday there will be a social network or app that helps spankos self-identify to other spankos.  Unfortunately, we're not there yet.

Monday, June 1, 2015

paying men for your spanking?

Hi. I'm back yet again. One of the reasons I have a hard time forcing myself to continue this blog is that, well... I'm not sure what else there is to say about spanking. I've thought in the past that I've pretty much run out of ideas to write about. This last week though, I discovered a topic worthy of writing about. A man posted on fetlife asking about income from his spanking activities.  Apparently he was unemployed, and wanted to tell the unemployment commission that he had found some source of income but was understandably reluctant to go into detail about what he was being paid for and how his payments were mostly in cash.

I'll be the first to admit that as a man interested in giving a spanking, it's not easy to find someone who's willing to get a spanking.  I did some research here... Men go to creative lengths: some post videos on spanking tube and have a message at the end about if you're interested, please contact them:

and others post ads in venues that are traditionally reserved for female dominatrices offering disciplinary spankings and/or traditional humiliation to men.
Really? I talked to one lady that told me a well known dominant offered to spank her for a fee, but if she couldn't pay it would still do so if she filmed it.  I talked to another semi-professional friend of mine who relayed the fact that a relatively well known studio offered her a "free disciplinary session" and her response was to tell the guy that she was not interested, that she needed to be paid for her modelling.  So I guess this is a real thing.  

Wow. Ladies actually pay a disciplinarian to spank them.  This was news to me.  It kinda makes sense. Giving a good spanking and a lecture to go along with it is a fantasy of many, but in reality it's a skill that gets better with practice.  Not too long ago I was interviewed by my good friend Natasha Knight.  I described how giving a spanking is like having sex- one gets better with practice.  It's a skill that can be practiced and improved upon, and there's no reason one shouldn't be paid for it, right? But it's so not normal- at least to my thinking.  Hell, way back when I joked about becoming a professional spanker, and it was a joke because I thought it was so preposterous that a man would be paid to spank a woman.  I've admitted before that I've paid for a woman to spank me.  That didn't seem all that unreasonable- despite their protestations that it was nothing sexual, It certainly was for me.  But there's something unseemly about a women paying for a man to spank them.  Perhaps I'm being misogynistic, but it seems to be a thing now.

ps... I missed opportunities to talk about how great the Madmen finale was -had that "I'd like to buy the world a Coke" song stuck in my head, as well as opportunities to talk about how horrific the Outlander finale was. Feel free to comment about those as well.